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Substance Abuse
Dropped son off at hospital this morning
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678932" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi RN. Welcome back. I am sorry that you find yourself getting in deeper and deeper and understand how draining, frightening and discouraging this must be.</p><p></p><p>I would worry that your son has a problem with more serious opiates, such as heroin. Abuse of prescription drugs are often a gateway to more serious opiate dependence and can be used on an interim basis if opiates are temporarily unavailable.</p><p></p><p>Has he been drug tested recently? The college and the classes are the least of it.</p><p></p><p>I agree with New Leaf. There are residential programs that are free such as Synanon or Victory Outreach. These types of programs understand addiction and understand addicts. Mothers and fathers cannot deal effectively with an addicted child. To try wreaks havoc in the family. You are over your heads. If you are here in the States any county mental health department should have as part of it a drug and alcohol clinic. There is also Narcotics Anonymous groups, and Al-Anon for family members. There should be groups this weekend. If it were me, I would go to Al-Anon.</p><p></p><p>I agree with your husband. You need your lives back.</p><p></p><p>You cannot be used as a pawn by him which is what it sounds like now. I am not saying he is doing this deliberately. He may be desperate and is flailing around, and you have been caught up.</p><p></p><p>But that does not make it good for either you or for him.</p><p></p><p>I am inclined to agree with Ironbutterfly, to leave his drug treatment up to him. You have already seen that if he does not take it seriously it will have no good effect. "You can lead a horse to water. You cannot make him drink."</p><p></p><p>I agree with you. That he sign a contract, while loaded is indeed a joke. I think the commitment that is the one that is needed right now, is between you and yourself.</p><p></p><p>If he is abusing drugs in your home, this cannot be allowed. If you know he is high, can he really stay? If by allowing him to stay, is it not to some extent condoning it? While you may not intend that, could he not infer it?</p><p></p><p>I know how hard this is. Because all of the alternatives to us seem like their exercise risks making an already horrible situation worse.There are no good options, but continuing as it is may be the worst. So I underscore your decision to put a halt to this. It is deciding how and when.</p><p></p><p>The circumstances already seem disastrous because of his engagement with authorities for behaviors while drunk. Even though there may not have been legal consequences, there should have been. This has reached crisis proportions. You know this. Your son must feel it. I think, too, it is time for him to leave.</p><p></p><p>I may have missed it, but how does he get his money?</p><p></p><p>In close, I am thinking about a program that I know about. They accept people of any faith but the program is run by a Rabbi and his wife who is a social worker. It is in LA. I tell you about it because I am sure there are other programs like it. They also do not require payment, if there are no funds. I wanted my son to go but he would not. When I called they said admission could be accomplished within a couple of weeks, if my son seemed suited to it. The Rabbi was a felon. He had been imprisoned multiple times. He was a hopeless case. It is called Beit Tshuvah. I know about it from my attorney who is very prominent in LA. I wonder if it would give you hope to read about them.</p><p></p><p>There is hope. It is just that we are mere mothers. Our job is to nurture, not to solve intractable problems that involve the will of a grown adult to change himself.</p><p>But there are people who can and do help.</p><p></p><p>I am a Jewish person who is not religious. I am sure there are faith-based programs of other faiths that I do not know about. But I do believe, personally, that faith is something that we do need. Addiction can be viewed as a spiritual issue, and recovery a spiritual process as well.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. We are here for you. I am glad you are here with us. Keep us posted. Do not forget taking care of yourselves. And each other, your D H and yourself.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678932, member: 18958"] Hi RN. Welcome back. I am sorry that you find yourself getting in deeper and deeper and understand how draining, frightening and discouraging this must be. I would worry that your son has a problem with more serious opiates, such as heroin. Abuse of prescription drugs are often a gateway to more serious opiate dependence and can be used on an interim basis if opiates are temporarily unavailable. Has he been drug tested recently? The college and the classes are the least of it. I agree with New Leaf. There are residential programs that are free such as Synanon or Victory Outreach. These types of programs understand addiction and understand addicts. Mothers and fathers cannot deal effectively with an addicted child. To try wreaks havoc in the family. You are over your heads. If you are here in the States any county mental health department should have as part of it a drug and alcohol clinic. There is also Narcotics Anonymous groups, and Al-Anon for family members. There should be groups this weekend. If it were me, I would go to Al-Anon. I agree with your husband. You need your lives back. You cannot be used as a pawn by him which is what it sounds like now. I am not saying he is doing this deliberately. He may be desperate and is flailing around, and you have been caught up. But that does not make it good for either you or for him. I am inclined to agree with Ironbutterfly, to leave his drug treatment up to him. You have already seen that if he does not take it seriously it will have no good effect. "You can lead a horse to water. You cannot make him drink." I agree with you. That he sign a contract, while loaded is indeed a joke. I think the commitment that is the one that is needed right now, is between you and yourself. If he is abusing drugs in your home, this cannot be allowed. If you know he is high, can he really stay? If by allowing him to stay, is it not to some extent condoning it? While you may not intend that, could he not infer it? I know how hard this is. Because all of the alternatives to us seem like their exercise risks making an already horrible situation worse.There are no good options, but continuing as it is may be the worst. So I underscore your decision to put a halt to this. It is deciding how and when. The circumstances already seem disastrous because of his engagement with authorities for behaviors while drunk. Even though there may not have been legal consequences, there should have been. This has reached crisis proportions. You know this. Your son must feel it. I think, too, it is time for him to leave. I may have missed it, but how does he get his money? In close, I am thinking about a program that I know about. They accept people of any faith but the program is run by a Rabbi and his wife who is a social worker. It is in LA. I tell you about it because I am sure there are other programs like it. They also do not require payment, if there are no funds. I wanted my son to go but he would not. When I called they said admission could be accomplished within a couple of weeks, if my son seemed suited to it. The Rabbi was a felon. He had been imprisoned multiple times. He was a hopeless case. It is called Beit Tshuvah. I know about it from my attorney who is very prominent in LA. I wonder if it would give you hope to read about them. There is hope. It is just that we are mere mothers. Our job is to nurture, not to solve intractable problems that involve the will of a grown adult to change himself. But there are people who can and do help. I am a Jewish person who is not religious. I am sure there are faith-based programs of other faiths that I do not know about. But I do believe, personally, that faith is something that we do need. Addiction can be viewed as a spiritual issue, and recovery a spiritual process as well. Keep posting. We are here for you. I am glad you are here with us. Keep us posted. Do not forget taking care of yourselves. And each other, your D H and yourself. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Dropped son off at hospital this morning
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