Drove to ER yesterday, just wasn't sure what to do....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Mar 26, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Transition from the water park did not go well and Q just came at me kicking and punching and screaming right there in front of a huge motel full of people. I got him in the car (this after about a hour of my sister working and successfully getting him to take prn medications) and he started screaming and saying he was going to hit me more when we got home so I drove to the psychiatric hospital near us that would be choice two for us. They have a new building and children's hospital and they were really nice. I basically could have left him there. But I think I needed to process things more than to get him to calm down. The doctor said yeah, Q being Q no hospital is going to be of therapeutic benefit in terms of groups etc. but they certainly could keep him and work on medications with his doctor. He said he understood about the cyp enzyme issues so would not do anything without talking to his doctor (who he clearly knew since he mentioned her clinic etc.). I get the feeling people dont do much without her input since she just undoes what they do if she does not agree and makes it clear. We went to talk to Q and he was still talking inappropriately but not aggressive. I made it clear he would be in the house except for planned activities (which we have every day but they are his routine things) because we have to get this under control and it is just not safe right now to go outside. He got angry but held it together. SO, I decided to take him home, told the doctor. that I fully realized I might be back in an hour and he said he was going to hold a bed for him for the evening and not to worry if I needed him to come in. He also listed a few other options which were already in the works.

    I know in my heart if we can get back to a normal routine we will be ok but he is just over the top anxious. It has gone on too long and each week he gets more upset.

    If we go the hospital route he said he can't see Q getting out very quickly. That ends up hurting all plans--new therapies, new school, not to mention the whole housing issue we have since my salary stops and we would end up losing our home and he would have no where to come home to me. I pray I can maintain and just get him into his new school to at least give it a try.

    I had called the doctor and she is actually at another site today. she will call me tomorrow she said. She seems great in many ways but not at all like our long time docs....if they say to call I call and they talk, this place I have been pushed off like this a few times. I hope they at least got our medications done. For some reason they denied them and it is nothing to do with insurance this time. ugg.
  2. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I am so sorry. I had never realized the ramafication of being a therapeutic parent! Q being hospitalized really does not seem to be a viable option at this point, specially since better options need to be tried first. That ***** school district should be sued!
    Hang in there, it probably is just a matter of days before you know when Q starts school. I imagine having a date on the calendar would be very helpful for the both of you.
    Did your advocate have any comments on the delay? Does she have leverage to speed things up (all that being the consequences of SD's misconduct and ultimately hurting Q hugely).
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Don't give up fighting now, Buddy (I'm sure you won't). Let's get your guy into his new school before the month of April is out... and hopefully well before then. I'm directing the universe as we speak :)
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    <cue in star-wars theme song?>
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I will try. He is doing ok...keeps vacillating between cooperation and wanting to earn being out again and saying I have to let him go now because he deserves it because he will show me he can do it if I would only give him a chance right NOW etc. But for the last couple of hours things have been really good. I switched up his transition from Occupational Therapist (OT) to my car by pulling up and he just came out and into the car. I guess he flipped the lights off in the lobby but they just turned them back on. They said no biggie, it was the first time. So, I think if they let it go and not make a big deal if it then things should be ok (I have been there when other kids do that or hit the electronic door over and over and many other things... place is crawling with difficult child's and others too).

    I have heard nothing about the other school today.

    The legal advocate has called but I missed her call and called her back but we are playing phone tag.

    He has twice today asked me for things and said thanks and I love you as if nothing else is going on.... it really seems he just loses control when a layer of stress is added to this stuff that is sizzling underneath. I pray it is a good sign that he will do better once we have things settled.

    I was looking up some of the medications he has had trouble with to see which ones are related to his enzyme deficits. Turns out Risperdal and pain medications (he had been given some for a smashed finger and nothing helped,now we now why) along with prozac. I found an article that lists many antipsychotics so I am not counting on those to work. Maybe there are some that metabolize differently. Luckily that is one thing our new doctor has specifically worked with back when she was doing a residency at Mayo Clinic.

    Well, for today so far, no aggression, just blurting. And I am holding on to the positive times we have had today... we had NONE yesterday really. Just neutral but no nice talk at all.

    It has been a challenge for me to be present in what I need to do today. This past several days has taken a lot out of me. Sorry I have not been as responsive on the board. I will try to do better.

    Thanks for the support as usual. It keeps me in the game!
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Cute Insane. LOL

    Malika, I'm steering it from this side of the planet.

    Buddy, I am so sorry. This is exactly why the SD should be sued. THEY did this and you and Q are paying a huge price. Him getting help to undo what they did should not have to mean weighing the help vs losing your home. I feel so bad for both of you and wish there was something I could do to help. Let me know if there is. It's times like this that I wished I lived closer. Hang in there.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thanks for the smile guys... made me feel like myself for a minute! TD- wish we lived closer too...for both of our sakes!
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Aw Buddy I am so sorry that Q is still so unsettled. Hoping everythong works out and you can stay in your home. -RM
  9. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending Hugs !!!Rabbit
  10. llamafarm

    llamafarm Member

    Sorry buddy. So much going on, my thoughts are with you.
  11. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs and prayers coming your way Buddy, wishes for an easier path, I am so sorry it is so difficult right now.
  12. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I hear what you are saying and yeah, that is the hard part. Resources (both financial and emotional ) to sue anyone. We are using the leverage of that threat to get what we want for him. We are for sure going to continue with filing complaints not only at the DOE because that will come back in favor of the school since the district will cover their a. But the law center wants to file against the license of the psychologist. They are also thinking of filing against the district for putting children in danger by not having training done and allowing plans to include use of non certified people stating they are using CPI but not having the certificate to allow them to. We will work on that over the summer.

    The good news, Q did not have one moment of aggression after we got home from Occupational Therapist (OT). I did not take him out to do anything, we just had a stay at home night. (he had been out from 11 to 4:30 so not like he was denied any activity at all). Today we will do the same, have a lower key day. His Wed Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker changed schedules to today so he will have time with her and half hour of speech/lang therapy. He keeps asking when he can try to go out again but though he argues at times he also is saying at other times, I know I can't go out for a long time but can we go to the park etc... and YES we can do that. (of course the rain came, hope it will be nicer for the rest of the week).

    Really confirms my feeling that the excitement and obsessive/overwhelming feelings that go with being with the kids is just too much for him. Tips everything over the edge. I know I am not in the clear. He will hear them out there and start to get overwhelmed but at least we had a relatively good day. Hoping today is a good one too.
  14. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    {{hugs}} and a bucket of hope...
  15. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Your case is much different from the one I was involved in. From what you've just said, I would go for it!

    Keeping my fingers crossed today is turning out to be a good one too... Hugs... SFR
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I appreciate your positive thoughts and understanding so much you guys.... it is really getting me thru the days. Q is at a more moderate level again today. Really hard to contain his blurts but it is clear he is fighting for control at a time he feels everything is out of control. He SAYS he is not going to do thing or IS going to do things but really 90 % of the time complies even thru his rumblings about not.

    A small blessing just happened. His new glasses came in and it has only been one week (often takes two because it is thru his insurance). He has been wearing glasses from two scripts ago and they are not even close to his current rx. His mood changed very quickly. It was so nice. Other times he has lost glasses or left the house without them in the past I have had to bring him home because he is so out of sorts. Do any of you have kids like that....He is like that with any little physical thing but I think this crosses into his sensory integration stuff....he needs his vision, it is his compensatory sense. And I have to say they are actually really cute (we get MA glasses, sometimes they have some good ones other times, blah. These are rimless, blue wire frames...a rectangle shape...the first pair he has gotten from the adult selection. His head is in-between the sizes. But he looks so cute.
  17. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Hi Buddy, I can so so so identify what you are going through!!!!!
    Sending lots of hugs!
    Sorry....need to get the kids ready for school....wil talk a bit later again!
    Ps.....I am sure he looks so handsome!!!!! X