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Substance Abuse
Drugs, normal teen crap and life in Limbo
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724475" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I thought son was at your house because of your good will.</p><p></p><p>Rehab is not a magic cure where the addict spends time there, gets it, and quits forever. Many people just do it to get out of jail or to shut up the family and once they get out they go right back to drugging. Not trying to be negative, but its about how much the person wants sobriety and what is at stake if the person doesnt. What do they stand to lose? Being sober, in of itself, is often not enough. My son's birthmom was in rehab eleven times before she had Sonic, but she still gave birth to him passing along the crack in her system to him, a baby, her fifth drug affected baby.</p><p></p><p>Maybe son needs you to crack the whip. I would not want somebody who went to jail in my house while visiting this girlfriend, who he is attached to and whose family does not value sobriety. Tell him, if you want, that while he is staying with you he has to stay clean and stay home. No girlfriend...she and Mom sound toxic to his sobriety. No harm reduction mindset. Harm reduction is no drugs while sleeping in your house. He does not seem to get it that he has to try to quit...or there are consequences. Jail. No more support. Homelessness maybe. This girl is 16. He isnt going to marry her and her mother wont shield him forever. He needs to have motivation to not use drugs. </p><p></p><p>Then tell his baby sitter, as we call them, the rules. And go have fun.</p><p></p><p>Or you can decide to take yourself completely out of it. Let him do what he wants. See who he wants.Try to find ways to stop stressing. What he does or doesn't do is not in your hands. In a sad sense, it is none of your business.</p><p></p><p>Only do what you can handle emotionally. Try not to be too attached to the outcome. At least this time. He is on a journey...he is young. He needs to find his own way. You need to find yours, apart from his.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry it is so stressful. It sounds very hard. I think it is harder when they are with us at an age when most are out. And even worse when they have issues that we wish we could fix.</p><p></p><p>Try hard to keep busy and interact with Son as you can do so without making yourself crazy.</p><p></p><p>"This too shall pass."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724475, member: 1550"] I thought son was at your house because of your good will. Rehab is not a magic cure where the addict spends time there, gets it, and quits forever. Many people just do it to get out of jail or to shut up the family and once they get out they go right back to drugging. Not trying to be negative, but its about how much the person wants sobriety and what is at stake if the person doesnt. What do they stand to lose? Being sober, in of itself, is often not enough. My son's birthmom was in rehab eleven times before she had Sonic, but she still gave birth to him passing along the crack in her system to him, a baby, her fifth drug affected baby. Maybe son needs you to crack the whip. I would not want somebody who went to jail in my house while visiting this girlfriend, who he is attached to and whose family does not value sobriety. Tell him, if you want, that while he is staying with you he has to stay clean and stay home. No girlfriend...she and Mom sound toxic to his sobriety. No harm reduction mindset. Harm reduction is no drugs while sleeping in your house. He does not seem to get it that he has to try to quit...or there are consequences. Jail. No more support. Homelessness maybe. This girl is 16. He isnt going to marry her and her mother wont shield him forever. He needs to have motivation to not use drugs. Then tell his baby sitter, as we call them, the rules. And go have fun. Or you can decide to take yourself completely out of it. Let him do what he wants. See who he wants.Try to find ways to stop stressing. What he does or doesn't do is not in your hands. In a sad sense, it is none of your business. Only do what you can handle emotionally. Try not to be too attached to the outcome. At least this time. He is on a journey...he is young. He needs to find his own way. You need to find yours, apart from his. I am sorry it is so stressful. It sounds very hard. I think it is harder when they are with us at an age when most are out. And even worse when they have issues that we wish we could fix. Try hard to keep busy and interact with Son as you can do so without making yourself crazy. "This too shall pass." [/QUOTE]
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