Dude!!!!!! Dude......dude~~~~~

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Star*, Jan 12, 2009.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    GNARLY -

    OMG - please take a seat. It is possible that despite continuing "idiot-cyncracies" in his day to day life. This kid is thinking outside the narcissistic mirrored box that is his life. We call it the ME box.

    He has been looking for a job -
    He has been doing his community service -
    He has been getting things like steros from community service thrift store that they throw away, fixing them, and selling them for his probation money - WHILE he looks for a job. He recently brought home 3 vacuum cleaners, tore them apart, thoroughly cleaned them, new belts, and sold them for $. At least he's TRYING to stay out of trouble and make money for his probation.

    So with all this money - he had a chance to go to the beach this weekend. DF nearly (literally) taped my mouth shut so I would not say "Don't spend your money at the beach and Here is some spending money."
    Nothing was said.....except prayers that wisemen would visit his brain.

    So last night - he came home from the beach. He handed me all but $15 of the money he had earned for probation. He said "guys gotta eat." Then he asked DF to hold that money for his probation - because he didn't want to blow it. (I nearly fainted at his next statement) "You can use that money if you want to for groceries, I know you'll give it back to me when I need it." That? That is huge. He wanted to help with the food costs....even though he knew he'd get it back - it was still the first time he's handed us money and said 'help yourself'.

    He told us about a car that he had found and how he plans to pay for it, put money up for license, tag, insurance. Asked if he buys the car can he keep it at our house so he won't be tempted to drive it? (omg are you serious?) Then he told us that we had "offered" to pay for 1/2 of his car if he paid 1/2 and we said "That still stands." He was elated. We asked when we have EVER gone back on a promise. He said "Never."

    He has thought about it. He actually has been taking his medications from the removal of his wisdom teeth and doing the rinsing, keeping his room clean, and since the stereo at this foster family has been a problem - he took it apart and brought it back to the house. He said "Wasn't worth loosing my home over."

    WHO IS THIS KID AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM? (you think dolphins took the other Dude out to sea and finally replaced him with the one I gave birth to?) :alien: I'm sure there was a spaceship in my backyard about a week after he was born and left this alien baby....difficult child. Perhaps difficult child is gift from Ganna - 12th quadrant, 9th galaxy....super nova.??? lol

    It's not anywhere near what we would like -but it's getting close enough for me to write now and then about it.

    We just need to get over this upcoming court thing and we'll be a lot better off -

  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Good update Star. Remember any step forward is moving in the right direction, even if it is just baby steps. But, sounds like to me Dude had a few grand jetes in there as well. He is in my prayers daily. Seems to be working some.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    He has moved beyond baby steps to toddler steps, I think. How awesome! My thoughts and prayers are always with him. DDD
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Just popped over to PE to read this and couldn't resist letting my "Board Auntie Pride" becoming public!!

    I'm really proud of him and am so glad that you are starting to see more and more of the young man in him that you have helped him become and wanted him to be!!
  5. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    ONE word......WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -RM
  6. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    What a great report Star! Sounds like progress to me!!
  7. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Star, it sounds amazing. I was thrilled to read all that you wrote, and I pray that this is THE turning of the corner. Sounds like that lightbulb has been switched on!!

    Love, Esther
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Wow Star. This is one very proud Board Auntie.
    I too hope that this is THE corner. Even if it's not, Dude is moving in the right direction.

    I'm thinking of cha-cha chasses, but only going forward, not back.

    Yay Dude!
  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Give that Dude a smoochie from his ol' auntie Big Bad.
  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Rob used to be able to act like that when he had a hammer hanging over his head...in Dude's case, he still has court to contend with. He could use a good word from his parents when it comes to sentencing time.

    Star, I don't want to be a naysayer and I truly hope this is a step forward for Dude. Just, please...if he's been at all manipulative in the past...enjoy the reprieve....and protect your heart in case this is a performance.

    Fingers crossed that it is not.

  11. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sounds very promising...perhaps he's matured a bit! Lucky for you, good for him. I'm so happy for you~
  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!!!! :bravo:

    From Cloe:

    Rowrrrr ruf ruf ***scritchscratch*** (stray flea) roooorr yip yip!!!

  13. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I just take it one day at a time -
    Unless they all attack at once.

    Same about Dude -
    I take him one day at a time. lol.

    Being guarded has become second nature. :laugh:

    I just see glimpses - every now and then I get a little hopeful.
  14. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Way to go Dude! Keep up this good work.
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Starbie this board auntie has always believe Dude has mega potential. I just can't believe otherwise of anyone raised by you. And I've been praying hard the boy learns to live up to that potential.

    Sounds like he's at least headed in the right direction. :D I'm keeping body parts crossed that he finds someone to hire him before frustration settles in. (little extra praying in that dept.)

    Go Dude!! :D :D
  16. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Hope is Good. Nice update! Proceed with cautious optimism! (Roads here are "snow covered & slippery", but there are "no cancellations or delays"....)

  17. So Tired

    So Tired Member

    I am so happy for you! We all understand how BIG some of the small steps are for us!

    Holdn' my breath for ya....
  18. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    That IS why having parents is a good thing....some of what reflects back IS the habits that slip through the looking glass!

    Yeah!Yippy! Way to go...Dude.
  19. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Way To Go, Dude! Keeping fingers crossed that all continues to go smoothly.
  20. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    That is great Star! You have had a hard time. Boy, it must be nice to actually see a human there. I can only have hope for me someday! Great post!