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General Parenting
Early onset conduct disorder diagnosis for my 8yo
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<blockquote data-quote="Ewok_1500" data-source="post: 690152" data-attributes="member: 20418"><p>Thanks Praecepta, this was helpful. I understand his diagnosis comes with a high risk of substance abuse as he gets older.</p><p></p><p>I am almost positive that his diagnosis is correct. His father was abusive to me, not him or his brothers. I did do some reading on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and this isn't him at all.</p><p></p><p>I feel that I need to be more specific with his behaviours:</p><p></p><p>1. As mentioned he never hurts others in anger. He is 'playing' or more often looking from attention from his peers. He doesn't understand that he is hurting them.</p><p></p><p>2. He is about 2 years behind academically. Specifically reading and writing. I do his homework with him every afternoon. We have a system where he can't watch tv or play his playstation unless it's done so he is pretty keen to get it over with as soon as we arrive home. </p><p></p><p>3. He has self esteem issues which I think stem from him a)not being able to do the same school work as others in his class (he has his own weekly schedule of work within the classroom) and b) just not being able to interact socially very well. This manifests as him not trying when he needs to do school work either with me or in the classroom.</p><p></p><p>4. He steals. An example- he spent school holidays in our home city with my mum and his aunt last year. He managed to snatch a $50 note from my mum's bedside table (whilst in the room with her) and then attempt to pass it off as his own ie when mum asked him where he got it, he said "mum put it in my suitcase for me! It's my present from mum". My mother replied that she knew how much money I'd given him and that it wasn't his. One week later, he stole his cousin's wallet. Spent the evening helping to look for it, and then returned home to me. I looked in his wallet and found 2 x $50 notes that weren't his and questioned him. He had taken the money from his cousin's wallet and thrown the wallet behind their washing mashine so he wouldn't be caught. He had just turned 7 when these incidents happened. 3 months ago I was buying a new car and had $1000 in $50 notes in my bag for the deposit. We stopped for lunch and in the time it took me to buckle his sister in her carseat he stole $500 out of my bag. It wasn't until I had purchased the car and handed over the deposit that I realised it was missing. Of course I found it in his wallet. His reason for taking it? I had lots of money and he had a little bit so he took some. This sort of thing happens all the time and I no longer keep cash at home. Ever. </p><p></p><p>5. He manipulates adults to get what he wants. Usually pretending that you've trodden on his foot etc and crying (tears and all) until he can get chocolate or lollies or whatever treat he had in mind. He will also laugh at anyone who he manages to sucker in. I clearly remember the first time he did this. He was 4yo and I remember feeling very uneasy. That wasn't normal behaviour. </p><p></p><p>6. We have had some trouble with him behaving in a sexual manner (pulling his pants down at school and trying to get others to do the same. This stopped about 18mths ago, thankfully, but went on and off for a year. He never did it in a secretive way however, always on the playground so it wasn't a concern in and of itself. </p><p></p><p>7. When he does something wrong, he will never be able to answer the 'do you know why you're in trouble' question. I have found having the 'good choices' conversation with him every morning on the way to school seems to reinforce what he needs to do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. </p><p></p><p>8. Finally, he has an aid with him in the classroom most days to keep his attention on his work and off the other kids. He also has 3 one on one sessions a week with the Learning Support Manager and spends tine in the deputy principal's office when he needs time out. He has had 3 lunchtime detentions since he started at the school in April, but they seem to be on top of his behaviour and I have no intention of interfering with their authority within the school. I do have a Case meeting with them all every month. </p><p></p><p>I hope this has clarified a few things that I may have been a little vague on in my original post.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ewok_1500, post: 690152, member: 20418"] Thanks Praecepta, this was helpful. I understand his diagnosis comes with a high risk of substance abuse as he gets older. I am almost positive that his diagnosis is correct. His father was abusive to me, not him or his brothers. I did do some reading on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and this isn't him at all. I feel that I need to be more specific with his behaviours: 1. As mentioned he never hurts others in anger. He is 'playing' or more often looking from attention from his peers. He doesn't understand that he is hurting them. 2. He is about 2 years behind academically. Specifically reading and writing. I do his homework with him every afternoon. We have a system where he can't watch tv or play his playstation unless it's done so he is pretty keen to get it over with as soon as we arrive home. 3. He has self esteem issues which I think stem from him a)not being able to do the same school work as others in his class (he has his own weekly schedule of work within the classroom) and b) just not being able to interact socially very well. This manifests as him not trying when he needs to do school work either with me or in the classroom. 4. He steals. An example- he spent school holidays in our home city with my mum and his aunt last year. He managed to snatch a $50 note from my mum's bedside table (whilst in the room with her) and then attempt to pass it off as his own ie when mum asked him where he got it, he said "mum put it in my suitcase for me! It's my present from mum". My mother replied that she knew how much money I'd given him and that it wasn't his. One week later, he stole his cousin's wallet. Spent the evening helping to look for it, and then returned home to me. I looked in his wallet and found 2 x $50 notes that weren't his and questioned him. He had taken the money from his cousin's wallet and thrown the wallet behind their washing mashine so he wouldn't be caught. He had just turned 7 when these incidents happened. 3 months ago I was buying a new car and had $1000 in $50 notes in my bag for the deposit. We stopped for lunch and in the time it took me to buckle his sister in her carseat he stole $500 out of my bag. It wasn't until I had purchased the car and handed over the deposit that I realised it was missing. Of course I found it in his wallet. His reason for taking it? I had lots of money and he had a little bit so he took some. This sort of thing happens all the time and I no longer keep cash at home. Ever. 5. He manipulates adults to get what he wants. Usually pretending that you've trodden on his foot etc and crying (tears and all) until he can get chocolate or lollies or whatever treat he had in mind. He will also laugh at anyone who he manages to sucker in. I clearly remember the first time he did this. He was 4yo and I remember feeling very uneasy. That wasn't normal behaviour. 6. We have had some trouble with him behaving in a sexual manner (pulling his pants down at school and trying to get others to do the same. This stopped about 18mths ago, thankfully, but went on and off for a year. He never did it in a secretive way however, always on the playground so it wasn't a concern in and of itself. 7. When he does something wrong, he will never be able to answer the 'do you know why you're in trouble' question. I have found having the 'good choices' conversation with him every morning on the way to school seems to reinforce what he needs to do. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. 8. Finally, he has an aid with him in the classroom most days to keep his attention on his work and off the other kids. He also has 3 one on one sessions a week with the Learning Support Manager and spends tine in the deputy principal's office when he needs time out. He has had 3 lunchtime detentions since he started at the school in April, but they seem to be on top of his behaviour and I have no intention of interfering with their authority within the school. I do have a Case meeting with them all every month. I hope this has clarified a few things that I may have been a little vague on in my original post. [/QUOTE]
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