Easter Anyone?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Apr 2, 2010.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The holiday snuck up on me. In my mind it still should be about mid march.:tongue:

    Unless she gets called in to work, easy child will be having Easter dinner at her house tomorrow. It ought to be interesting. easy child invited ex boyfriend and Aubrey. She also invited Nichole. As far as I know Nichole is planning on coming. Ex boyfriend may back out and let her bring Aubrey while he stays away.

    Regardless.........I can't say I'm looking forward to it. Jerk Man is not invited and will not be coming. That has been made very clear.

    easy child is not a happy camper. She is not thrilled (to say the least) with the way Nichole has behaved over the past couple of weeks. But she is a peacemaker at heart. sister in law is still pretty livid over the whole deal. This kid comes from an immediate family of "what's in it for me people". His major issue with Nichole is her horrid treatment of the family during this whole deal. For a guy who never has had family offer to extend a helping hand when needed or even guidance until he joined ours.......he just would like to slap her silly for taking it for granted. And there lies one of the biggest issues for Easter dinner. sister in law will be unable to keep his mouth shut. Tact is not a skill he possesses, even when he means well. It could get ugly fast.

    However Nichole also knows this, so she must be expecting it. That is why I was surprised she accepted the invitation. Because she knows he is going to ride herd on her the moment she walks in the door until she leaves. He loves her, he feels protective over her. Just the way he is.

    So, doubtful it will be pleasant. And I'm not looking forward to it.

    Nichole caught me in fb chat this morning. I'd calmed down some after spending most of the night talking with a fellow board member on the phone. Starbie you'd be proud of me, I managed to bite my tongue and stay detached.

    I realized while chatting with her this morning there are things that need to be said, but they are things that need to be said face to face. Her and I need to talk because from a distance I can't accurately judge where her mind is at to even know what the heck to say or what to hold back on saying. I told her we need to talk about this in person like adults. She agreed. So we'll see what happens. Currently, other than the Easter plans, she has been avoiding me in person.

    So, other than Janet getting her fabulous trip to the white house for Easter............What is everyone else planning for the holiday? I think I'm going to need to live vicariously through someone else to get through mine. lol :ashamed:
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    HD, I'm so very sorry that this mess continues. I hope that everyone is able to hold their tongues so that you can enjoy your Easter celebration.

    We're having a low-key Easter this year. Normally everyone gathers at mother in law's house for a big family dinner. But the Tot Monsters don't travel well and I just don't feel up to that much interaction on top of dealing with 2 babies with the screaming meemies.
    So, we're staying home. I will cook a nice simple dinner for husband, Little easy child and the Tots, and I've made Easter Baskets for everyone. Little easy child will have an Easter Egg Hunt on Sunday morning, per our tradition. This year, instead of chocolate eggs, I made up a bunch of little plastic eggs with toys inside. Didn't want him to fill up on too much candy, and I thought it would be more fun for him to have lots of little things to play with.

    difficult child 1 has been staying at mother in law's house, and I think difficult child 2 and her boyfriend will be heading there as well, along with the BILs and SILs.
  3. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Well, I think I will have a better Easter than you! I will be working from 12-6--then just spend evening with husband. No kids, no drama, no stress!
    Hope it goes better than you expect!
  4. We're having the most nontraditional Easter celebration we've ever had.

    Our GGFs are local but continue to remain estranged by their choice.
    (experts say "very common for 'adopteds' new to legal adulthood")

    We expect all the crxpola to turn around eventually... however we're not holding our breath until then!

    Our oldest, our beautiful peacemaker... (I can relate Hound Dog!) is out of state enjoying a WONDERFUL season of responsible young adulthood! (...and continues to make us very proud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

    So it's just my honey and me! :love-very:

    We'll be celebrating Resurrection! YAY! That's the best part!!!

    It will be a different celebration than we've had over the last 15 years...

    difficult children have soiled our reputation among the people we normally celebrate with... we have a select few standing by us... encouraging us to attend anyway... I just don't want to go and wind up feeling like fresh hamburger in a piranha tank!

    So.... We'll be worshiping with new people.

    ...and I've decided to try a new recipe for dinner... "Beef Wellington for Two" ...looks like it will be yummy!

    Hoping your celebration finds you surrounded by love and turns out far better than you anticipate Hound Dog!!!!
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    So glad this thread was started. Holidays are often extremely difficult at worst, and weird, at best, for us. Seems they are tough on adopted kids. Sadly, our adult adopted child has not out grown this difficulty. Instead, from childhood to the present, she passes on her despair to us. Even though we've done our best to make holidays joyous, she seems to do her best not to notice this and spread gloom to all around her.
    Some holidays recently have been spent without her.
    This year, I invited a few people over for Easter. Then I got to thinking about a few others I know who don't have family, and I invited a few more. THEN, I got to thinking about some classmates/friends of mine who also don't have family to celebrate with who might also be willing to help with- difficult child. ALL jumped in and said "yes." Now, I'm having a full house. This is unusual for me, as we have a tiny family and what usually happens is my closest friends leave town for the holidays. I am a little freaked out. difficult child was originally not coming, but now she says she wants to come for a short period of time. She has nothing to wear, but since it would benefit ME, MYSELF AND I, I bought her an inexpensive outfit (which will remain her afterward) just for these types of things. PLEASE keep your fingers crossed and say a little prayer for me, as I am not use to entertaining "larger" groups of people and this goes double for having difficult child here at the same time. I am sooooo grateful for the support of my friends (although I DO wonder if some of them have a clue of what they are in for! Hee heee). BUT, I feel strengthened somehow. Strength
    in numbers and all that. Fingers crossed...will be in prayer this weekend for myself and fellow cd board members.
    TALAN: Good to hear that you will be worshipping with "new people." Amen to that!
    Lasted edited by : Apr 2, 2010
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Talan the beef wellington sounds delicious. And Trinity I'm betting your holiday will be much quieter. :D

    Nomad, I'm also not one to entertain large groups of people. Heck I'm not even comfortable among large groups of people even if they're family. lol But if you start to get nervous or on edge.......remember these people are friends and family. They know you can care for you and are there because they want to be there. If they want to help, let them help so you can enjoy the day too. As for difficult child.......here's hoping with so many people she'll choose to behave herself and actually have a good time.

    Love the way you viewed buying difficult child's easter outfit. Way To Go!

    Jane, while I'd like to skip the day altogether......I don't think I'd like to work it. lol ;)

    I'm going to try to keep my focus on the grandkids and less on the adults. That may or may not work. lol
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    We have no plans as of yet besides church in the morning. Guess we'll just see where the day takes us!
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    We celebrated with our family this last week. So we are free all weekend. husband, difficult child and myself are just going to enjoy one quiet weekend at home. husband says this is my weekend to recharge. : ) I knew I married this man for a reason.
    I always seemed to have a group at the house for the holidays. My kids grew up with it as did I. Now that the boys are young adults and the nephews are not nearby I no longer do easter egg hunts and ham brunches.
    Whatever you do, enjoy yourself and the littlest ones. They grow fast.
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    With no children around, we don't pay much attention anymore. I've even gotten husband to put "Robin's Eggs" out of his mind... ;)
  10. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    easy child, daughter in law, and grands are here. Foster Daughter is home from college. I will have a full house all weekend, and I love it. Tomorrow night we are having what started out as a small get together---but as word spreads, more and more people will be attending. It is a mixed bunch---everything from Dr.'s to the unemployed. Old and young. Sunday I will do a traditional ham an fixings for dinner. I love entertaining and love having lots of people here for a short time period, but I'll be glad when Monday comes and I have a whole week to myself. I'll be on the beach or by the pool all week---enjoying the peace and quiet.
  11. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    This is the very first holiday that I will have without my difficult child living with me. I guess, for a divorced parent, I've actually been pretty lucky with this one. DEX has been very generous with holidays. He told me yesterday that she asked if she was getting an Easter basket this year. He replied "Well, you say you want to live in the adult world, so I guess not." I sheepishly told him I'd made her one anyway and planned to hang it on his door tonight when I am finished with church. I made peppermint patties and haystacks and I bought a chocolate bunny (and even a tiny white chocolate one for DEX), a t-shirt and a pair of flip flops. He laughed and said "I could nave guessed". The Easter basket is a tradition that I wasn't quite ready to abandon.

    He is working all day and my niece invited us to her house for dinner, so difficult child will be going with me. I am so blessed to have the family that I have. I have not spent one holiday alone and probably never will.

    difficult child has decided that I am the evil parent and her dad is perfect. I am honestly glad that they are getting along and that he is spending time with her. I am baffled as to why one of us must assume the role of the bad guy, though ... and why it would be me - especially. She was pretty ugly to me when I saw her on Weds and I have not talked to her since. I'm not "not speaking" to her - simply haven't called as I normally would do. Detachment 101...I'd love for her to call me and will be receptive if she does ... Oh course she has the option of not coming with me to my niece's, but I think she will go.

    Tonight I will be attending the Easter vigil at church, something she has always done with me. She now declares herself to be agnostic and I have decided not to push the church thing - in fact, I don't even ask her if she wants to go. This, of course, is very different than what she tells her dad. Last week, she brought up going to church with me - said she'd call me (didn't of course) and told her dad I was pressuring her to go. Sheesh!

    Like many of you, I am learning to simply go on with things. The father didn't go looking for the prodigal son, right? I'll be here if she wants to treat me like a mom again. Tomorrow should be interesting...

    And, HD, you can come with me!
  12. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well earlier this week, Youngest told me that if Oldest was coming to Easter dinner, she wasn't. Pfffffffft. But then Oldest called me to let her know her schedule (she has to work at 6 pm Sunday), so she clearly wants to have dinner here (I don't see her that often, anyway). She said nothing about a fight with Youngest.

    Honestly part of me hoped they'd both not want to come, then I wouldn't have to cook :)

    As of now, everyone is coming. I will cook a ham and a couple sides. I don't plan to go to much trouble. Hopefully drama will be minimal.
  13. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    My holiday routines have been sort of 'in transition' for the last year or so. My son lives about 30 miles from me and for the longest time he would always come here for holidays, I'd cook a big dinner, and it was just the two of us - nice but very quiet. Now he shares a house with a female roommate (strictly platonic) and her eight year old son in a house that they rent from her mother. They have become this very odd little family unit with him becoming a badly needed father figure to the little boy - he even helps coach his baseball team. So lately he's gotten very in to cooking (something it never occurred to him that he could do!) and he's really enjoyed having holidays at their house. The one thing he asked for at Christmas was a good cook book! At Thanksgiving they came up with a very passable turkey and sides while I brought the dressing and pies. Nice until about 30 assorted relatives and friends dropped over and I found myself surrounded by chattering total strangers. I felt very out of place and not my idea of a holiday but maybe I should just get over it? So anyway, he wants to do Easter dinner at their house and called way in advance to make sure I was coming. He's going to GRILL something! And this is the kid who would always OD on ham unless I stopped him! When I asked what I could bring, I could hear the roommate in the background going, "Strawberry pie! Strawberry pie!" like the one I brought for Thanksgiving. He has assured me that it would be just him, the little boy, the roommate and their respective girlfriends ... and yes, you read that right. He and the roommate are dating sisters! Told you it was a weird arrangement, but it works for them!

    So I guess that's where I'll be. Sigh. Nothing stays the same, does it?
  14. compassion

    compassion Member

    We are going to Easster canata at church, husband and I . I will watch the sun come up on our land. We aremeeting the kids: difficult child, and meeting her boyfreind for the first time and my son at a nice restraunt ( not very formal) I am not cookign this year!!!! husband and I dyed eggs. I went and got choclate bunnies for everyone and a card for the boyfreind. Oh, and then there is a potluck at our church in the afternoon, after the family dinner. Sounds good to me! Comapssion
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Just finished our Easter dinner at easy child's house. Nichole was invited. Exbf was invited and so was Aubrey. Well, Nichole showed up at exbfs and wanted Aubrey for the day. And no she didn't show for dinner. (no surprise) Childish of her to make Aubrey miss the celebration with family because she's ticked off at us.

    Otherwise, easy child cooked a delicious meal. Her deviled eggs finally turned out right. lol They had an egg hunt and Darrin and Brandon hunted for plastic eggs. Too cute. No fighting. No drama. Peace and quiet. And a beautiful 80 degree sunny day on top of it.:D
    Not too bad.