easter at the loony bin

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
Janet, honey - you have done everything you can.

My Dad's the middle child of 3. My oldest cousins, R and K, even when they lived forever away made an effort to be involved with Grandma and Grandpa. I've tried too (I'm the only grandchild with any interest in WWII, and of course Grandpa served in the Army Air Corps). But my youngest cousin? Guess there are some issues between her and my uncle, and she has 2 kids - who have seen the great-grands TWICE. The older one is probably 7. I've never met them at all. But the reason? Is that they did not go to her mother's funeral - which was last summer/fall. PLEASE. Grandpa will be 91 in May, Grandma 90 in September. I sure as heck would rather they didn't travel too much!!!

Same thing - spoiled. I bet Jamie hurts inside, and I bet he won't ever tell you. Just concentrate on the people who DO love you.

And yes, a card is appropriate. Don't put anything in it besides whatever you write.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I know step...guess I was just trying to answer Malika so maybe she would understand why some would answer the way they did. But another thing does hurt me that I forgot to put into that novel...lol. Jamie tends to defend Billie by saying that the way his relationship is, is the same as the way he was raised. That his dad and I are the same way. That we fight all the time, that his dad does everything for me, that his dad did all the parenting, that I did nothing for them, yada yada. Its so not true! The only time that his dad has started to have to take care of me more has been since I have gotten sick and disabled and he really tries to push me to do as much as I can do now. Yes he brings me my plate of food...I adore the man for that. It helps me tons. He also cuts up my meat for me because my hands shake and my wrists are weak. I wasnt always like this.

I took care of my kids. I didnt sit on a computer all day or in front of a tv all day. I couldnt. Those kids would have run wild. They were up with the sun. I didnt have the luxury of having anyone to take them off my hands for days or hours at a time. Nope, it was just me and Tony when he was home. We were a well oiled team most of the time and when we werent, well we chugged along as best as we could. We made do. Sure we fought. Who doesnt? But I didnt sling computers or cell phones across the house. I have been known to throw a xmas tree though...lol. Hey, that was cheap...we cut it down! I have never broken anything that cost me tons of money or wasnt mine. Except myself and thats a different story. He seems to want to justify what is happening there by not remembering or putting a spin on his memories of his childhood. I cant stand it.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
This reminds me of something, Janet.

Onyxx "remembers" husband and I fighting physically.

We never have. Not once. Not ever.

Amazingly - on this, she is totally unwavering. She can't give details, of course. But it is as if she has internalized what she has done and projected it out onto us...
 

Malika

Well-Known Member
Thanks for explaining, Janet. It also helps to know the story... I am sad for you that you have not got to have the daughter you always wanted and sad for little Hailie that she seems to have such an immature and unseeing mother... It must be very painful for you.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Janet

I've said it before, and I'll say it again..............I believe Jamie is in an abusive situation with Billie, and it's certainly not him doing the abuse. And this is going to sound odd, but because he's male.....it's going to be much harder for him to come to the point of being able to face that and deal with it by leaving the situation. It's extremely difficult for a male to admit to being a victim. So the abuse continues, and it continues to escalate.

My bro spent 20 yrs with a "Billie", she was somewhat worse in that she spoiled the kids insanely one minute and threw them across the room the next while spouting the most vile things at them. The family loathed her when they were just dating......once they were married.......whew boy. I was over there one day waiting to speak to bro about something. She was reading one of her romance novels. Now bad enough the trailor was a stye........litter boxes unbelievably full, garbage and nasty food everywhere.....about 6 months of dirty laundry piled in the hall...... Niece and nephew were 2 and 1 at the time. Niece was the baby. She toddled over to mommy for some attention. Bro's wife called her everything but a child of god, picked her up and literally threw her across the room. Once I'd checked her over........I went off on bro's wife like stink on poo. She was lucky I didn't skin her alive. Bro came home, told him about it.......and I was accused of exaggerating because his wife denied it and said she just pushed the baby away. This was not the first time......I'd been trying to get him to admit she was not just abusing him but the kids for months. But that was the last time for like 15 yrs I stepped foot in his house.

During the years with her, it only got worse. Family tried to reason with him but he wouldn't hear it. Then he started claiming that it was no different from the way we grew up. Uh, no. Mom was physically abusive as her punishments went too far and way over the top. Still is different from picking your kid up out of the blue and just throwing her across the room cuz she annoyed you. She was equally abusive to bro. They had cops there often for their physical fights. Was a mess. He always defended her.

Then, we still don't know what happened, it was suddenly over. Took him 2 yrs to get full custody of the youngest child, that isnt' even his......well none of them are........but the damage had been done. ugh Now? He'll admit she was horrid to the kids and a horrid wife........still will not admit to the physical emotional abuse of himself, even though he knows we know the truth.

I hope Jamie comes to his senses much sooner than my bro did.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
"
sumin' Lisa is right?

I think you need to take ME the next time you go to Jamies. LAUGHS Jamies AUNTIE STAR.........mwhahahahah.........MWHHAHAHAHAHAH. If someone were picking on my TEDDY BEAR? (i can't type that here)
 
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