So since easy child/difficult child's dad told him he will be living with him as of April 1st, he has not taken it well. I don't blame him. He is not close to his dad at all, despite his every other weekend visits. His stepmom is a witch. He will be changing schools and leaving his friends. He has been attending the same after school daycare for seven years. He will be leaving everything behind in the middle of the school year. And he is autistic and doesn't handle change well. So how do I tell my 12 year old Aspie son that this is all for his benefit? After easy child vehemently protested moving out and said outright he was refusing to go, I had his dad call him and talk to him. I urged him to play up to easy child and make it sound like a great big new adventure. So my ex called him last night. The call was on speaker phone so I heard everything. His dad asked him if it was true that he didn't want to live with him. easy child was too nervous to admit it to him. His only answer was, "I don't know." So my ex started telling easy child how great it was going to be to live with him. Promised to spend quality father/son time with him. Told him the experience would be great for both of them. Promised him he would love it. So easy child doesn't say much back to him other than "Yeah okay whatever." They hang up. As soon as easy child puts down the phone, he tells me, yet again, "I don't want to live with daddy." I don't know what else to tell my son. He is dead set against going, but he doesn't have a choice. And I feel like total **** for having him go. I already played up the father/son bonding scenerio with him but he's not buying it. How do I explain to a 12 year old that I'm simply no longer capable of taking care of him and meeting all his needs? How do I explain this without making it seem like it's all his fault? I told my therapist yesterday about him moving in with his dad. My therapist made me feel even worse. His response, "So you are sending your special needs son to his dad, who he does not have a good relationship with, in the middle of the school year, when he has autism and doesn't handle transition well. And to top it off your ex does not believe in his asperger's diagnosis, does not agree with his adhd medications, and has no idea what an IEP is?" Well gee, when he puts it like that, I really feel like ****. My therapist feels sorry for my son. So do I. I feel like an incompetent parent for making him leave. Right now I have all I can handle with difficult child. With easy child/difficult child it's just too much for me at my current unstable condition. So how do I help these guilt feelings? And how do I handle easy child who, understandably so, is happy in his own little world and doesn't want it changed? Right now I'm feeling like a pretty poor parent.