easy child and drugs

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Jan 9, 2009.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    No, easy child is not taking drugs. Wasn't sure how to title this or if it's even in the right place really.

    Back when my easy child was hopitalized for potential meningitis that ended up being an incredibly painful kidney infection, the docs gave her Oxycodone for pain along with antibiotics. She doesn't like those types of drugs - the downers (or any other) but she took them for the first day. Shortly thereafter she fell and hurt her back and shoulder and our regular doctor gave her Flexerils. Again she only took them for a day. She had stopped taking her celexa shortly after moving back home and she also stopped taking the trazadone (which was to help her sleep and work with the celexa). Anyway, she's got this stockpile of drugs in her drawer.
    I found out shortly after Christmas that she had given - GIVEN - my nephew the balance of her Oxycodone (about 20 pills). He ate them in a weekend. He's a druggie - he is a majorly addicted pothead and barb fiend and alcoholic. It is amazing to me that no one else, especially his parents, can't tell that he's abusing drugs. I've known since last Summer and it was just a guess. He recently needed to talk to someone about it and came to me (we are close and he often comes to me for my advice) as well as to his counselor the same day. That is when I learned that he ate all of easy child's pills in a weekend. easy child did come to me a few days ago and said she was angry with him because he never 'paid her for the pills' she gave him. I was really upset with her for giving them to him and told her so.

    After my nephew spilled his guts to me I had a chat with easy child and further explained that she needs to put all those drugs in the medicine cabinet and that she is to be very careful about her cousin. I explained to her that he is abusing barbs and that not only will she never see the money, but if something awful happens she could be called to the mat for giving away her presciption drugs.

    Here's the rub: My sisters and I have routinely given each other medications to each other over the years...and yes, the kids have been witness to this. For me and my nearby sister it's mostly just been asthma medications (she refuses to be treated for her asthma yet hits me up for asthma medications). Also, my DR gave me ambien and I hated it and since I knew she took that, I gave them to her.

    So easy child said to me, "I didn't think anything of it because you and aunt T do it all the time". Well, she got me there, didn't she?

    Anyway she knows now to not give her cousin any drugs...but this was really a wake up call for me and the cavalier attitude we have about exchanging and sharing our prescription medications. H used to always tell me that it was wrong, but I always waved away his concerns. Now I will be much more careful.

    Incidentally, my nephew claims he is going to get help and go to meetings or whatever. But he's told me this before and I just don't think he will. on the other hand, maybe he really has hit bottom. His father, who we both work for, is giving him a full time job and salary to match with all the benefits beginning now. I just learned of it - I am the HR person among other things - and I have to wonder if this will only compound the stresses he already has that drive him to drug use. on the other hand, maybe this will snap him into shape. I don't know. He is 27 and still behaves like am irresponsible 19 year old, playing video games till the morning hours. He is supposed to work 9-5, but rolls in at around 10:30 most mornings and tries to make excuses to get out of here by 4PM. Some days he just doesn't show up at all, without a call, or will call in sick with a stomach flu, but I know it is more likely he was out on a bender. I cannot believe his parents are so oblivious, but I don't dare be the messenger - my sister hates it when people point things like that out to her, especially about her kids. And my brother in law will only yell at and shame his son rather than do something radical like fire him. Anyway...just sort of worrying out loud. Thoughts, as always, are welcome.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Was it generic oxycodone extended release or just regular oxycodone? One is oxycontin and one is percocet. If she hadnt been taking narcotics before, they probably gave her the generic percocets. Yeah she got majorly ripped off. They go for about 10 bucks a pill down here. I keep my medications in a safe. I dont share anything anymore. Oh I will give Tony a spare antibiotic because he has no insurance and cant afford a doctors visit but I wont give anyone else anything and I dont tell anyone what I have in this house.
  3. jal

    jal Member

    Maybe someone needs a drug test before they get hired like a lot of other people have to do? Then S and brother in law would have to face it. Sorry it's a tough position for you to be in.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    The work situation is what it is. He is brother in law's son, plain and simple. He will always, like many of us here with our difficult child's, have hope that his son will just grow up and get with the program. I think that brother in law believes if he gives his son this position (and all the perks) that his son will suddenly take his life more seriously and "snap to it"; become the responsible, smart and capable person we know he is deep inside. With my difficult child experience and in being on this board, I know it's not that easy. My nephew told me that when he told his dad he has been abusing drugs and was ready to get some help, his dad responded with, "Ok, do it". And then gave him this job and massive raise. It just makes me wonder if he's ever thought about how this move with his son is perceived by others in our office who have seen his son jerk him around for the past two years and just basically BS his way through everything. I've seen him, along with the others, tell his father out and out full blown lies and brother in law just doesn't want to see them. Baffling. Anyway...

    At least easy child gets that she can't give her cousin any of her prescription drugs. Her involvement was really my primary concern, as my nephew is an addict and there is little we can do to help that until he's willing to help himself. He claims he's ready now, but after being told this over and over again and watching the lies pile up, I have a difficult time believing him yet. I want to see what actions he takes first.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Jo, as I started reading your post I got this horrible feeling that he either killed himself with those medications or that your daughter was going to get arrested for distribution. I expect you shared that either (or both) of those scenarios could have been the result of her actions and she was just plain LUCKY that they weren't.


    I'm so glad I was wrong and that this was a learning experience instead.


  6. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Pretty scary stuff. Did your daughter know that he wanted the pills to get high? or did she think he has some legit need for them like pain management?

    I am guilty of keeping old prescription pills - just out of frugality. But, like Janet, they are kept in a small locked safe in my closet.

    FYI: the rate of prescription drug abuse such as you have described is very, very rampant in our youth culture. Many kids just raid the family medicine cabinet for their next buzz. If I were you, I would either flush leftover narcotics, or get a small safe.
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Well, like I said earlier, she knew that he wanted them for recreational use and didn't think anything of it since she's seen my sister and I share prescription medications for years - never taking into account that we're using them for legitimate use, not to get high. Duh.

    Yes, Suz, I too am so glad that nothing really dangerous or deadly happened to my nephew (or easy child).
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    So easy child said to me, "I didn't think anything of it because you and aunt T do it all the time". Well, she got me there, didn't she?

    Well.....no not really. What you and your sisters have done is exchange medication that was prescribed by a doctor. What she did with your nephew was give or rather SELL a known drug addict drugs. BIG difference. If I run out of flexeril - DF has a prescription and I can take some of his.

    And as far as him not paying her for them? UGH......

    I nearly passed out when I saw the post title. THANKS for that. lol. I passed it up twice thinking - DO I REALLY want to know about my niece and drugs???? MY easy child niece? DRUGS? Blargh I am dead.

    I'm much better now. lol
  9. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Um, I'm with Star. Exchanging medications for legitimate medical reasons is not a great idea, but it's not illegal. On the other hand, selling narcotics, which is what your daughter did, is. The one line in your post that stopped me cold was that easy child was mad that your nephew hadn't paid her. And in another post, that she knew he wanted the oxycodone to get high ...

    I think this warrants a closer look at easy child and what she's up to, and a talk with her about selling recreational drugs. Sorry ... not trying to be judgmental, it's just a worrying situation.
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Katya, yes, that was my concern first and foremost as well in regards to easy child doing this with her nephew. She knows he's a druggie and that she expected him to pay her for them. That's drug trafficking. I told her that.

    My reason for not going ballistic on her is that she never has drugs. Unlike difficult child, easy child has never really required many medications over the years - an advil here and there for muscle pain or an antibiotic for a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), more along those lines. When she has ever gotten anything more powerful, she rarely, if at all, takes them because she doesn't like the feeling of being tired or not in control of herself or too sleepy. While on the one hand I admire that in her, I also think that at times she should take the flexerils, etc, if her DR tells her to, Know what I mean??

    I think she's learned her lesson in this. Ironically, the other day my nephew mentioned to me that he owes easy child for those pills and I told him to never ask her for medications again please and he sheepishly said he felt like such a scum bucket even taking them from her. So...

    Star! I am so sorry!! I didn't know how to title the post.
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    For most of my life I have seen my mom and aunt exchange medications - if one had an rx and was out and the pharmacy was closed, the other would happily share if they had the same medication.

    It NEVER occurred to me that this was the same in anyone's mind as taking medications to get high.

    Don't let your daughter get away with the "You and aunt T do it" line. She knows better. She knew better when she let him have the medication. It is a TOTAL copout to compare it to you and your sister share medications if one is out and there is a history and LEGIT use for the medication.

    I am sorry your nephew has such a problem, and that his father and mother will not see that he needs help. I hope he does go and get the help he needs.

    I am glad your easy child does not take medications, though sometimes it is important to take them if prescribed. It is good that she is healthy and generally doesn't need medications. BUT her attitude that he should have paid her, and that it was somehow fine to give them to him for recreational use because you and your sibling exchange medications for medical reasons, well, that is a disturbing thought line, in my opinion.

    I hope you can help her see the difference between what she did and what you and your sister do.