easy child/difficult child In Psyc treatment center...long day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rejectedmom, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    A couple weeks ago my Aspie son started having delusions at work and he was sent to the EAP councelor. From there he was taken to ER where they ran tests and sent him to a treatment facility. After a week he realized that he couldn't afford his co-pay and checked himself out against medical advice. No one ever called us and I just found out about it yesterday.

    Well he is still having frequent and persistant delusions and so we met with his job HR director this morning to see what was needed to allow him back to work and to discus FML and the continuation of benifits Then at lunchtime we went back to the ER and had him re-processed and taken by ambulance to a Psyc treatment facility. I spent the day with him waiting for his placement at the hospital and followed the ambulance to the center an hour away. I did this because I didn't want him to be alone again and so the doctors knew he had family that loved him and stood by him. It was hard when we passed through the town that his college was in and where he had graduated with honors a few year back. I kept telling myself not to loose it because he didn't like drama and either did I.

    easy child/difficult child's birth mother was schizophrenic but since he had made it to age thirty, we though he had escaped that diagnosis. It is possible that he is a late manifest.

    My son has overcome so many obsticles in his life time he is truly my hero. He never gives up when things are hard. He has beat many medical problems, surgeries, learning disabilities ,bullying, abuse etc. He even bought his own home a couple of years ago all on his own. He prided himslef on being self-sufficient. But now it seems his life got too overwhelming and he has become delusional as a result. It appears that his brother's prision sentance and his neighbor's bullying and vandalizing his car to the tune of $3000 were the last straw.

    He told the doctors at the hospital that he has been drinking alot also. I was aware of this and have tried to get him help in the past. Aspies are at a very high risk for alcoholism. He was sent to a dual diagnosis facility. I do not know how long he will be there but there will be one less at our holiday table.

    We are thinking about renting out his condo and having him move in with us when he is discharged. easy child/difficult child has never been disrespectful, never been entitiled, never been anything but determined and apreciative and responsible. My heart is breaking for him right now.

    And as if this isn't hard enough for him, I am pretty sure his employers are looking for legal ways to get him off the books so they do not have to pay his benefits. They told me his behavior at work was disruptive to the other workers and that they just cannot have that. I understand that. But truthfully this company has a bad reputation for mistreatment of their employee.s They also said that they could demand that he sees their own doctors before he can return to work and that they can change his position as long as they keep his pay the same. They were definately posturing at this morning's meeting. there were additional people in attendance as witnesses taking notes and recorded the entire thing. I doubt easy child/difficult child will remain in their employ for very long even if he gets back to work within the FML timeline. They will just make it unbearable and write him up for ever little thing to build a case for firing. easy child/difficult child has worked for them for 6 years and only took one (forced) vacation.

    Right now I am very mad at God. First easy child's head injury last Dec. that prevents her from functioning well enough to work. Then her husband asks for a divorce, then difficult child gets the maximum sentance of 7 years and is sent to a state facility far away from here. Then easy child/difficult child is terrorized and bilked out of 2000 and has his car torn up by same bully (he was so afraid of this guy that he refused to take him to court)

    And now... this.
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2011
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am so sorry. He has been through so very much, this just isn't fair. While the company is NOT in the right, sadly they may be "legal" in their actions. But whomever makes these decisions, I firmly believe that they will get what they deserve. Eventually.

    I am hoping that he is having these problems because PTSD and alcohol abuse rather than schizophrenia. If it is schizophrenia, I pray that it responds well to medications and that he has no side effects from them. Either way, I hope he is able to get the help he needs and can get back to work (preferably for a good company!) and continue on with his life after he is able to respond to treatment. Please push them to provide EMDR to help with the PTSD from the abuse. It really does help, esp when combined with other therapies.

    NO matter what, you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Rm, just what you and your family need. I am so &^%&( sorry. I feel so badly for him because I have remembered all the struggles he has endured and overcome. With grace. This just stinks. I hate companies like that. Same thing happened to me when I had to go deal with my mom when I hit with the news about her alzheimers completely out of the blue. I truly had had no clue that she was as bad as she was. I thought she was a bit eccentric but had no clue she had dementia. Then one day some social worker calls me demanding I show up immediately to tend to her or they were going to press charges against me! I really had no choices.

    My company wasnt all compassionate and one would have thought they would be considering I worked for SOCIAL SERVICES! I tried to use FMLA but they made it very difficult and demanded that I check in weekly and even though I did come in each week on a Friday, they managed to say that I didnt do it well enough, that I wasnt bringing forms from her doctor, that just me coming in and telling them what was going wasnt good enough. When I tried to go back to work after I got her moved up to my house and had Billy staying with us so he could watch her while I worked, they found every little thing they could find to pick on me for until they simply drove me out. They wrote me up daily for stupid things. I was 5 minutes late from lunch even though I ate at my desk, I took too many breaks to go to the bathroom, I wasnt working up enough cases even though I worked up more than either of the other two investigators. It was idiotic. I was so stressed out already I just couldnt take it. My bipolar was just getting dxd and my medications werent right and I lost it and told him where to stick it. He wanted me to sign some form saying I agreed with all my misconduct and I refused. Thats when they fired me for refusing to sign that form. I told them fine. Packed my box and left.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    RM, big hugs.

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gentle hugs coming your way along with prayers.
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. Sometimes we just quit asking what is next, as we really don't want to know.
  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Susiestar, I too am hoping it isn't schizophrenia but the psycologist said that alcohol is't likely the reason. She said that they usually only have delusions when in withdrawal. I did mention the possibility of PSTD and she didn't knock that theory down. I guess for now we just have to wait and see

    Janet, your nightmare of how you were treated on FML is what I fear for easy child/difficult child. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

    LDM, Wiped out, Crazymama, thank you so much for your caring comments.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhh, I am so sorry!
    He sounds like a great guy with a lot of problems. Sometimes, genetics hoovers.
    I, too, hope that the doctors can get to the bottom of this, and if his medications are changed (which I assume they will be) that he has no side effects.
    Fingers crossed! Please keep us posted. We care.
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending the most caring and supportive hugs your way. My fervent hope is that they are able to find the key that allows him to capitalize on his many proven strengths. Meanwhile try to take care of yourself during this next rollercoaster ride. DDD
  10. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending Hugs and sending up prayers. Rabbit
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank you Terry and DDD, and Rabbit. As if his ife isn't strssfull enough, He is also having problems with the IRS due to some very minor stock trading he did a couple of years ago just for fun. He made 3,000 which helped him buy his condo. The IRS is saying that he owes (are you ready for this) 30,000 in taxes on it. I called them today and they won't acccept my legal and unlimited power of attorney so I will have to download their forms, drive all the way back to the facility to have son sign them and then fax them to IRS and wait two weeks before I can even talk to anyone. They told me that it will take up to two weeks for the power of attorney to be approved. I am exhasperated because this is a very time senisitve matter. I might have to employ a tax advocate to help with this if things get too crazy.
  12. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired


  13. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. Just when you think it can't get any worse.... the universe heaps more on. I've never understood why there are some of us that seem to have more "bad" things happen than others, it doesn't seem fair. I've had my share of "one more thing" when things are already bad. The only thing I've concluded over the years is that God chose me to be the parent of my girls because he thought I was strong enough to handle their issues and the constant crises. There are many parents out there who can't, and don't handle it. Small comfort at times, but it's what's gotten me through.

    Hugs. I hope they can get him stabilized quickly and get to the bottom of what's going on. Hang in there.
  14. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. It does sound like you have a plan in place (him moving back in with you and renting his condo) and it's good that you have some options. I know it's hard to watch our kids struggle.

    I hope it is not schizophrenia (or if it is, it is treated with minimal side effects).

    Hugs, prayers and strength your way.
  15. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Crazy. I hear you about the one more thing. I have read the book of Job so many times and I get it. But really don't you think by now that we have proved ourselves?

    Marcie thanks for the hugs I really could use them.

    Cub's girl, From your lips to God's ear. Thankyou
  16. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't think of it as proving myself. I think of it as, I was chosen for this. So be it. Or if you believe some of the new age philosophers, maybe I chose this for myself, as a challenge (like, maybe my "last life" was too easy, and I needed something more challenging this time around) What WAS I thinking?! :)

    More hugs.
  17. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    yeah I have a hard time believing all this is Karma. I could not be the person I am today if I was such a bad egg in a previous life.