So, easy child had a dinner roll for Thanksgiving. Yep, that's it, just one dinner roll. She didn't even get to eat her delightful dessert she brought to the gathering. She (and difficult child, though separately) traveled down to LI to spend Thanksgiving with her dad at her aunt's house. Her aunt and I used to be best friends but when I moved up to CT (18 years ago, aunt was mad at me and apparently still is???). easy child's cousin J had her flavor of the month join them for the holiday and I guess he's sort of scrubby. J is a Smith and Yale grad - very big education and makes a nice living and is 31 - she continuously sleeps around and is always hooked up with some loser and drinks and smokes pot and does mushrooms and is always inviting my girls to her parties (they each went once and never again after watching their cousin puke off the porch, nice). Anyway, easy child said J's boyfriend was touching all the food as it was being cooked and licking spoons and putting them back into the dishes - she just got grossed out and couldn't eat anything. She/difficult child also said J and boyfriend kept going outside to smoke pot and that the boyfriend kept slapping J's ass all day long and making crude comments - in front of J's mom and dad!!!! And the aunt just laughed it off, but everyone else just sort of looked on. She said it was horrifying how rude he was. difficult child said that the boyfriend kept using the F word and other colorful language all throughout dinner. Before dinner even began, easy child was disgusted and wished she didn't waste her time traveling down there to be with those people. difficult child tolerates these things easier and had her boyfriend (E) with her so they sort of stuck together; even easy child was hanging out with difficult child and E. But the worst was that auntie was being overtly hostile to easy child. easy child asked if she could help in the kitchen and auntie and cousin both said no so she went out to hang with her dad and watch football. Later, auntie and cousin came out and made a snotty remark, "Oh, what's the matter can't help in the kitchen Ms. I'm volunteering in Africa?". easy child was floored and couldn't respond. A little while later easy child, cousin, cousins boyfriend, and uncle were in the kitchen chit chatting and auntie started talking garbage about ME to the cousin, as if easy child wasn't even there. easy child interrupted her and asked her if she knew who she was, lol. Auntie just looked at easy child so easy child went on to tell her that she didn't appreciate auntie talking sh*t about her mom right there in front of her and she told auntie that she was a mean, bitter, rude person with no boundaries. easy child told auntie that I happen to be a fabulous mother and person and that auntie doesn't know what the hell she's talking about and that if she wanted to bad mouth me, she should do it when my children aren't present. And then she left the room! And that was BEFORE dinner. So, easy child sat through dinner and then left and drove back up to CT. She said she's done - she's not going there anymore. She was looking forward to hanging with her dad, but can't do it if she has to tolerate her aunt. Apparently, auntie has said stuff about me before (which I already knew) but the last couple of visits, either easy child or difficult child would tell her to shut up, lol. This was the last straw. The topic du jour? Auntie was ****** at me because I didn't invite her to father in law's memorial service in September. Now, why would I invite her?? She didn't know father in law or ANY of H's family!!!! She was mad because I DID ask a mutual friend to join us...the reason I asked this mutual friend to join us is because A) she is my BEST friend and she's close with both H and me, B) she knew a lot of the people there because she and H grew up in the same town, C) I needed someone there for support and she's always been a support for me! H honestly did want to ask exh to join us (he and exh were good friends growing up and exh knew H's family) but we decided it might be too much for mother in law to have my exh there, Know what I mean?? It was a funeral for crying out loud!!!! Who is mad because they don't get invited to a funeral service?? WTH? difficult child was not witness to the comments auntie made to easy child, but she had her own story to tell about cousin. Apparently, she told cousin off about her dirty scuzzy boyfriend...he was rude and when cousin invited difficult child to join her for a new years party, difficult child told her if the boyfriend was there, she will take a pass. I'm sad on so many levels. I wish that auntie and I could have the relationship we once shared but obviously that is not happening. I'm sad that easy child and difficult child didn't get to have the nice Thanksgiving visit with their dad that they expected (difficult child stayed over at exh's and they did have a nice visit though). I told easy child if she wanted to invite exh up for Thanksgiving next year to our house she could. I don't care, it will be fine if he comes up - we all get along okay. I hope I don't have to eat those words next year, lol. There is a part of me that wants to continue what I've been doing for the past 15 years - ignore auntie and take the high road. on the other hand, a big part of me wants to just have it out with her and get it over with. What would you do??