easy child dissed friend by skipping pot party

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by TerryJ2, Nov 5, 2007.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I had lunch with-my easy child yesterday at a local Mexican restaurant. We don't get to do that very often. She casually mentioned to me that a friend of hers, S., was upset because easy child skipped her birthday party and went out with-her boyfriend instead. I don't particularly like this friend anyway so I was thinking, oh, good, easy child is getting choosey.
    But easy child said she skipped it mainly because one particular friend, A., was going to be there. A. smokes pot, and is very pushy and has tried to get easy child to do it. She drives 100 mph, does anything to get attention, and failed a class or two last yr. She no longer goes to their school but invites herself to all the parties and dances. In fact, she invited herself to Homecoming ... she called up a boy and literally told him to invite her so she could go.
    easy child no longer speaks to her. A has got a long list of other nasty behaviors I won't go into here.
    easy child said she told S. that the reason she didn't want to go was because there would be drugs. S. replied that easy child didn't have to partake of them; she could show up anyway. easy child said no, she didn't want to be around them at all.
    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy, easy child!!!
    She hates it when people are mad at her. She wants to be everyone's friend. This was very hard. But she is finally realizing (with-a bit of help from husband and me) that there are some people you truly don't want to be friends with-because they have such diff values.
    I asked her if she wanted to buy S. a birthday gift anyway and she said yes, so we went to Target and bought a hoodie sweater. This way she is hoping to make it clear that she really did want to celebrate S's birthday, but did not want to be around pot smokers.

    I'm curious as to S's reaction.

    by the way, we took a family trip to Belgium last summer and took a side trip to Holland. You couldn't walk 2 blks in Amsterdam with-o having someone walk by who reeked of pot. I personally hate the smell--sickly sweet. easy child and difficult child both said, "What is that smell?" just as a bizarre, drunk-acting young couple walked by us.
    I said, "Grass." difficult child was confused so I said, "Pot." easy child simplified it further: "Marijuana."

    Ohhh, difficult child knew what that was, LOL!

    Saved me zillions of hrs of parental lectures, LOL!

  2. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    The first time my son smelled it he asked what it was and then quickly said "NEVER MIND MOM" The cop in DARE told us that smell was people smoking rope. He was 7. I said do you mean dope? And he said No the cop said rope. I quickly added "Yes, never smoke rope."
  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Good for her!!! You should be very proud of her. I know my easy child is dead against drugs after watching what her brother went through. She has stopped hanging out with many friends because they associate themselves with drug users. She will come right out and tell me she is no longer hanging out with someone for that reason alone.

    It's makes a mom proud!!!
  4. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sounds like she made a really good decision. So nice when they are choosey instead of the need to be friends with everyone.

  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    That had to be tough for her at her age!

    Give her a high five from auntie Bad Kitty!
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for easy child! :bravo:
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    S. didn't come to school today. No one knows if she's sick or what. She was living with-her grandmother for a while, because her mother had issues. (?) Then she lived with-her boyfriend.
    Suffice to say that most of her parties are unsupervised.
    A. (the potsmoker) did not show up for the party. No one smoked pot. But there as alcohol.
    So easy child still feels vindicated.
    She heard at school today that S. is very, very mad at her for not coming, because A. never showed up at the party.
    I told easy child to tell S. that she is not allowed at any of S's parties, period. They may go out to lunch together but that is it. She can blame it on me if she wants.
  8. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    What a wonderful daughter you have!!! What a great post!!! WFEN

    P.S. I just saw your update - I think it was a good idea to tell easy child that she isn't allowed to go to any more of S's parties. This should make it a bit easier for easy child.
  9. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I have always told my kids to blame things on me if they are uncomfortable being in a situation. I know my easy child has used it a few times.
    Gives them a good out without anyone passing judgement.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes. I can see this is going to get angrier and hairier so I am happy to step in if/when need be.