easy child had major meltdown

[Jena]

hi,

hope everyone's well. haven't been on past few days. Well easy child has been off as of late for a while now. Yet she internalizes so you can't really get past that wall to see what's going on with-her.

she does or did have that horrible boyfriend i posted about, who recently got caught stealing in town etc. whose been a nightmare for the past year and a half she's been with him. we knew he was trouble, and yet there was nothing we could really do about it.

easy child is needy her self esteem is down, yesterday i was sitting in my rm. and heard banging and crashing glass breaking. it was coming from her room. so i went to check she was on bed hysterical crying, glass everywhere a dent in the wall just whole room a wreck.

her and boyfriend broke up, and well there's alot to it yet at the end of the day she finally admitted how she doesnt' feel happy for a long time now, how she knows her choice in him was a bad one yet she still needs him so much or thinks she does and loves him. how she's so irritable and angry alot of the time. we knew all of this. yet had to wait it out till she wanted help. she's almost 18 the whole lead horse to water thing.

long story short she told me how she wanted to kill herself, how life wasnt' worth living anymore, how she doesn't like anything about her life now. her best freinds' going away to college this summer, all her other friends also, she doesnt' know how to drive yet, a whole bunch of stuff.

so, i did a sweep cleared out all knives and butcher block from kitchen, did the best i could in her room with-o her knowing. do i think it's real suicidal ideation, yes i do. i think she's depressed and finally admitted it and finally talked to me which she normally doesnt'.

so, tmrw she's headed to difficult child's pyschiatrist with me to hopefully get medications an anti depressant. than therapy will start once i get a call back.

her sleep's off, her appetite's off, all the signs are there and have been for a while. yet we had to play the wait and see game. hate that. difficult child heard her last night screaming and was like what's wrong with-her now? i said well she's sad right now that's all.

i was a bit emotional last night yet i'm better today. she spent day with me we got stocking stuffers, had dinner together talked for a while and all her walls are down right now. she's actually rearranging our cabinets in kitchen right now. she isnt' used to being home so much and very bored. yet it's alot better than it's been past mos or so with crying on and off and irritability.

i guess it's helpful to know that she is going to get help she needs.

 

[DDD]

I'm so sorry. My personal philosophy is that the easy child's need help as soon as GFGdoom arrives. Many of our members take comfort in having easy child's but I know from personal experience that the easy child's are way more vulnerable than they let on and they
feel the need to be perfect to show their love for their parents. Often meltdowns happen years and years later. In your case you can reach out for help pronto. I send caring thoughts your way. DDD

 

[Jena]

husband and i were a bit confused about whether or not to fill school in. she isnt' going tmrw. and i just felt that the guidance counselor should know what she said. they should keep a better eye on her if she's missing class to contact me as opposed to doing what all high schools do which is ignore it and send a cut slip and detention letter home. we aren't leaving her alone in house right now with-o her knowing what we are doing ofcourse. i want to wait it out and see whatever medication we get her on how it reacts and how she's feeling. once therapy begins it will be very hard for her. so i figured medication first to calm and balance than therapy as opposed to other way around.

this guys a real jerk. i'm trying to control myself from going there and calling. they've been broken up for a while yet now she's catchign wind of what he's up to on his own and it's hurting her even more. he named called her and i think verbally abused her for a while. when she met him she was working, diong well in school had a life friends always on the go. met him and changed soo much over the past two years. she did tell me he called her a **** the other day and *itch and she got so mad she slapped him in the middle of school.

husband surprised her and i both with a spa package next weekend. was giong to be a christmas gift yet once i told him about her he booked it today. so we leave on saturday and go there have one spa service each of us shes' getting hair cut and colored i'm getting an japenese massage than we have a 3 course dinner at the restaraunt there and there's a band playing that night. next day we get up and have breakfast and head back. we can use the spa steam room sauna etc.

 

[Jena]

my other concern is if she starts to talk to this kid again. i know i cant' control it yet that's what's killing me is the loss of control over that as well. she'll be sitting with me at the table texting with her phone and right away my mind goes into she's texting that punk again. which most likely she will do.

 

[Bunny]

It never seems to get easier, does it?

My only suggestion is to keeo her busy. If she has other things to think about she won't have time to think about the boyfriend.

Why is she saying that all of her friends are leaving for college in the summer? Isn't she going to college, too, or is she going somewhere local? It's really tough when all of your friends leave and you are still home. The spa weekend sounds like a good idea. That should take her mind off of things and allow you to spend some good, quality time with her.

I hope that it gets better.

Pam

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Jena,

The spa weekend is such a wonderful idea! Is there any way you can get her to leave her phone at home? It's only for a short time. The weekend is supposed to be for lots of R & R... SFR