easy child has me

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Wiped Out, Mar 7, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    really worried. I am truly beginning to think she is more on the difficult child end of things just in a different way from difficult child.

    She has spent most of the entire day in her room (I know this is typical for typical teen). We told her she needed to work on her hw because she hasn't been getting it done. Her progress report was dismal with an "F" in English being the worst.

    Her moods are all over the place. Some days sweet. Some days watch out. I couldn't believe it last Saturday when she wanted to play a game with me and even told me she loved me.

    I just went up to talk to her. She is trying to sleep again. It is what she has done most of the day. When I tried to talk to her she flipped out, told me she hated me, I was a stupid dumb mom. Again, I know not totally out of the ordinary for a typical teen.

    She was screaming at me, standing on her bed, telling me I was invading her space.

    Also when I explained that she says she hates me until she needs something (by the way, I was totally calm this whole time not yelling at all), she said she won't be needing anything anymore. I said that wasn't reasonable. She would want new clothes, her driver's license etc... She said no she would never need anything again. I asked her if she was planning something she should tell me about. She asked, what I was talking about. I said that every one needs things and why was she thinking she wouldn't.

    She screamed about how she hated our family, about everything.

    I told her if she locked her door again I would break it down and take off the hinges because I am worried about her. She said then she would push me and I replied then I would have to call the police.

    She is reminding me of the spot she was in last Thanksgiving. I am going to call her psychiatrist on Monday to see if we can get in sooner then her sceduled appointment. in two weeks.

    husband thinks I shouldn't be so worried, that I'm overanalyzing things. Maybe he is right? Please be honest, would you be worried? I don't want to over react or over worry. I do tend to do that at times. I'm near tears right now. My niece and her fiancee are on the way over for a dinner. easy child has already refused to come down. Usually she really enjoys my niece.

    I just don't know what is going on!
  2. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Does her emotions get higher in the stages of pms? Some of this is typical teen stuff but you are the mom, you know her best. If you see warning signs then follow your gut on it.

  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    15 is a hard age for a girl and some boundry pushing is to be expected. If however you are concerned because she is beyond what you would concider typical teen behavior, I think at the very least you should schedule a medical exam to make sure her harmones are at good levels. With so many enviro-estrogens getting into our food and drinking water harmonal problems are not so far fetched a concern these days.
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I would probably be on alert but I tend to be cautious.
    She sounds very depressed(as if you didn't know that). Does she have any friends she confides in? Any adults or teachers that she would be likely to talk to?
    Do you think she would benefit from a mentor of sorts? Someone she seems to respect or take advice from?
    If you feel she is a danger I would call her doctor.
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I agree, my antennae would be up as well. Although some of what you're describing sounds very much like a typical teen, some of it also sounds like she is unbalanced somewhere. Whether it's hormones or something else, some bloodwork and a doctor visit sounds in order. I do not think I would rely solely on the psychiatrist, however. I would get her in to see the gyno for a hormone evaluation as well.

    Hugs, let us know how it goes.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    The part about not needing anything anymore would have me on alert. I hope it's simply typical teen drama, but...since I don't have typical teen experience (Miss KT is my one and only), I'm not the best one to determine.
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    A lot of what she is doing is typical teen----that need autonomy is big between 13-16. Girls tend to be worse than boys in many ways. But...I would be concerned and keep an eye on her. I know that I did not like Jana at all when she was that age. It wasn't until she was 16 that she began treating me decently again. You will need some tough skin for a while because you will be enemy #1 and best friend in stages----
  8. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I would be worried, but I don't know what a typical teen 15 year old is like.

    The one thing that came to mind for me is could she be missing doses of her Zoloft? When difficult child was taking Lexapro, if she missed a dose, her mood was worse than ever.
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Having had one typical teen and one difficult child 15 year old.......... I can tell you honestly that alot of what you're seeing can be typical teen behavior.

    15 is a very volitile and rough age for girls. Have no clue why. But have talked to enough parents who say the same.

    Although, I'd still be cautious and alert. Some of the behavior does seem over the top.......the standing on the bed thing and yelling at you for one.

    Both easy child and difficult child pushed the boundaries big time at 15.........and I was hated at least 10 times a day, or an awful Mom, or whatever next they thought of. Some is probably based in hormones which in my opinion are raging in girls at this age, and it's like they're trying to get a grip on them.

    If you want the honest truth......I didn't care to be around my girls much until they hit 16-17. Then they started acting more human again. lol

    Now of course Nichole took it to a new level being a difficult child..........but easy child most certainly put me thru the ringer, too.

  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thank you everyone-I really appreciate your responses.

    Beth-I do think that PMS could be playing a role.

    RM-Good idea to have levels checked. They did to a blood work up on her when she started at this psychiatrist in Nov. but I'm not sure what they checked for.

    Fran-Part of the problem I forgot to write about is that she almost never does anything with friends. She says she has lots of "school" friends but seems to shy/anxious/? to call them to set things up. When she is invited specifically she will go, otherwise she doesn't. Although she does go on facebook some but has even cut back on that lately.

    Jo-Good idea for her to see a gyno. I'll have to start getting suggestions for one from someone at work as I don't have one. I guess since I always knew I couldn't have children since I was 21 I never thought I needed to see one although I can see now where I probably should have had one.

    Mary-That's exactly the sentence she said that has me worried.

    EW-I really hope it is typical teen stuff, maybe magnified by having a difficult child brother?

    FOP-I do think it's possible she skips some dosages of Zoloft. I get it ready during the week and sometimes on the weekend but don't watch her take it every day. Also sometimes she says on the weekends she'll get it herself but she doesn't always.

    Lisa-husband thinks it's mostly typical teen stuff too. I agree with that for the most part except some things seem so over the top.

    She just had a t-doctor appointment on Wed. One of her goals was to find some friends to go out with Friday night. Either she didn't try or couldn't find anyone. She told us we can't make her talk to people.

    The last time I remember her doing something with-friends outside of school was when she went to a birthday party in early January.

    She got up for breakfast this morning, managed to shove difficult child because he wanted some of the Lucky Charms (she is very possessive over things).

    I also worry about her eating. She is so thin-92 lbs. I nver used to worry but now she has been skipping dinners. Could be the Vyvanse I guess? She says she makes up for it on the weekends and we do see her eating lots-mostly carbs-on the weekends but then again last night she skipped dinner-of course-she was in a mood.

    I will definitely be calling psychiatrist and therapist tomorrow and start looking for a gyn as well.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sharon I wasn't aware easy child is skipping meals. 92 pounds is terribly thin. How tall is she?? Nichole is only 4 10 and at her lowest thin weight was 90 pounds. Which because she is so small was normal.

    With the moods swings and meal skipping and low weight.........is it possible you're dealing with anorexia?? That would most certainly cause typical teen behavior to go over the top.

  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa-I'm not sure about anorexia but have wondered about it. easy child is 5 feet 3 inches. She has never been more than 97 pounds and has always eaten only when she is hungry. She used to say she was trying to hit 100 pounds but couldn't get there. She always is bothering difficult child about his weight and when he, in turn, calls her fat, she laughs and says she is the furthest thing from fat.

    Everything I've read about anorexia is that they see themselves as fat. She always tells us she knows the is thin. She is still wearing a size 0 and has since she switched to junior clothing. Don't know if it's her metabolism or something more serious. I think she definitely has food hang ups, wish I knew if it were more serious.

    She came down for lunch and wouldn't say a word (she did eat a mighty kid's meal from McDonalds so I guess that was good). When asked a direct question she wouldn't respond until husband took her food and told her to answer.
  13. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm getting here late and can't think of anything to add to what the others have already said. Like the others, I think while some of her behavior is "typical teen", some of it appears to be beyond that - I think she sounds depressed too. I'm especially concerned about how little she weighs for her height. I'm glad you're scheduling doctors appointments for her. I wouldn't put this off.

    Sending lots of hugs. I hope you find the answers you need to help your daughter feel better ASAP!!! WFEN
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sharon easy child saying she's thin might be to throw you off. At 5' 3" it's worth looking into. May not be the problem, but you want to be sure.

    Nichole has always been low weight until she got pregnant. Although in the past year she's lost a ton of weight without trying. Now is back down to 116 while eating anything in sight. And is still losing. So we don't know if her fast matabolism has kicked in once again or not.

    I know it's worrisome when you know something is wrong but can't pin it down.

  15. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sharon, I'd be concerned that depression is contributing to social withdrawal, academic underachievement and weight loss/lack of appetite. Add that with mood swings, and I think this picture goes beyond typical teen.

    My daughter A does not have anorexia, but she lost weight between ages 13 and 14. At her check-up in January, she told her pediatrician that she likes being thin and that she feels some pressure from friends to look a certain way. The pediatrician was concerned enough that he is meeting with her monthly to talk about nutrition, healthy body image, peer pressure, etc. This is in addition to her weekly psychotherapy appointment.

    From reading your posts over the last several months, it seems to me that easy child is not responding all that well to her current medication combo. Inattention coupled with treatment-resistant depression can sometimes point to a more complicated mood disorder that requires a mood stabilizer. I'd definitely get her in to see the psychiatrist and discuss this possbility with him.

  16. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I have a lot of faith imommies radars. Fingers crossed it's just PMS.
  17. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    This is just another thought because it is something that we deal with in my family. Could your daughter be Hypoglycemic? it would cause mood swings and sugary food cravings with a decrease in appitite nausea and headache. Even though they crave and often eat fatty and sugery foods they still are often of low weight. If severe enough it will cause seisures but this is not the norm (my grandson is having what might be partials due to this). Interesting when my daughter was acting out as an adolecent a glucose tolerance test was ordered by her peditrician to rule out this. She was mildly hypoglycemic and now as an adult if she lets her blood sugar drop she is horrid.

    My Daughter, my grandson and I get nauceous and don't want to eat when our levels drop. Through education and experience we have learned that we must eat even though we feel quezy (complex Carbs to bring sugar up with a bit of protein to sustain normal levels) When we do this we will feel better. So since you are going to take her for a check up ask about a glucose tolerance test also. -RM
  18. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks again everyone. She has not improved and I think this is the longest I have seen her like this. She raged again last night and this morning.

    Last night she was upset because I brought up Ella (our mixed black lab) to her room-she sleeps with her every night. She screamed that she didn't want that dog in her room (very strange because she is extremely attached to Ella-she considers Ella to be more hes than anyone else).

    The next thing I know she is in my room screaming at me because she said I interrupted her when I knocked on her door and she lost her pen. She is telling me over and over again how stupid I am and wants to know what I am going to do about her pen. She just wasn't making any sense.

    This morning she did get up to go to school but we left about 20 minutes later than usual. When I stopped to drop her off I realized she had fallen asleep. I tried calling her name a few times and she didn't wake up so I gently shook her knee. She again started screaming that I am never to touch her because she hates me and I'm stupid.

    Tonight she has spoken to no one except to complain. She did come down for dinner.

    I left a message for her t-doctor today but never received a call back. I did get an appointment. for Wed. morning with her psychiatrist.

    Please keep her in your prayers, I'm very worried still.