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easy child into a difficult child???
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 42207" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>One of the things I have found most helpful in setting myself back on my feet when dealing with difficult child (you never do know what they are going to throw at you next) is: "You were raised better than that".</p><p></p><p>If it is possible, ground her from the computer entirely for a month.</p><p></p><p>She is obviously subject to bad influences there (and that is just what I would tell her is the reason for the grounding ~ nothing to do with the myspace thing). I would make it very clear that this is an error in judgment on her part, and that things like this happen to those of us who are less sophisticated than we need to be in the internet world.</p><p></p><p>Tell her that after one month away from it, she can try it again, but that you are disappointed in her performance thus far.</p><p></p><p>You might even use this as an opening to talk with her about your expectations in other areas, and the risks involved for all of us, but especially for our young people, in the worlds of school and work, today.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this happened between you and your daughter. She may think it is funny, and may have taken offense at you for believing it was sexual in a serious way.</p><p></p><p>None of that matters.</p><p></p><p>What matters is that you be able to stay clear on what your goals are for this child.</p><p></p><p>husband's are notorious for "not being able to deal with this right now".</p><p></p><p>You have us, now.</p><p></p><p>Others of us will be by soon with different takes on how you might deal with this.</p><p></p><p>I am thinking your easy child is still a good girl.</p><p></p><p>Adolescents ~ even normal ones ~ test and test us, to learn how to navigate the world for themselves.</p><p></p><p>Someone told me once that not giving our children strong boundaries could be compared, for us, to drivng across a very high, very long bridge without lights or guardrails, or to driving across that same bridge with guardrails firmly in place, and with lights and clearly marked signs.</p><p></p><p>husband does not know what to do. Let it go. Marshall your energies now to teach your child.</p><p></p><p>You can do this, and we all are right here.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 42207, member: 3353"] One of the things I have found most helpful in setting myself back on my feet when dealing with difficult child (you never do know what they are going to throw at you next) is: "You were raised better than that". If it is possible, ground her from the computer entirely for a month. She is obviously subject to bad influences there (and that is just what I would tell her is the reason for the grounding ~ nothing to do with the myspace thing). I would make it very clear that this is an error in judgment on her part, and that things like this happen to those of us who are less sophisticated than we need to be in the internet world. Tell her that after one month away from it, she can try it again, but that you are disappointed in her performance thus far. You might even use this as an opening to talk with her about your expectations in other areas, and the risks involved for all of us, but especially for our young people, in the worlds of school and work, today. I am sorry this happened between you and your daughter. She may think it is funny, and may have taken offense at you for believing it was sexual in a serious way. None of that matters. What matters is that you be able to stay clear on what your goals are for this child. husband's are notorious for "not being able to deal with this right now". You have us, now. Others of us will be by soon with different takes on how you might deal with this. I am thinking your easy child is still a good girl. Adolescents ~ even normal ones ~ test and test us, to learn how to navigate the world for themselves. Someone told me once that not giving our children strong boundaries could be compared, for us, to drivng across a very high, very long bridge without lights or guardrails, or to driving across that same bridge with guardrails firmly in place, and with lights and clearly marked signs. husband does not know what to do. Let it go. Marshall your energies now to teach your child. You can do this, and we all are right here. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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