easy child is struggling....could use some bead rattling

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterby, Nov 8, 2009.

  1. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    easy child has been in and out of, or bouncing around the skirts of, depression for the better part of the year. Mostly, it's shown itself in that he's been hard to live with and making bad choices (not graduating on time, waiting to the last second to finish so he could still graduate this year, quitting his job with no notice and no job lined up, breaking up with girlfriend in May, etc). If I mentioned it to him, he would either deny it or would say he'd get over it, but that he's not going to talk to anyone.

    This morning I woke to him on the phone with girlfriend (she was at work, on break). He's catastrophizing (is that a word?). He *hates* his new job. In the past, he would hoover it up. Now, it's making him physically ill and creating tons of anxiety and angst. (He is actively looking for another job.) He's been in full blown angst over this job since the first day of his second week. And he was excited to get this job.

    As he was on the phone with girlfriend, he was totally freaking out because he couldn't find his keys. It was 30 minutes before he had to leave for work. I got out of bed and helped him look, then got his spare key off my key ring. He was still freaking out. Full blown panic. He found his keys (buried under the covers of the bed), flopped down on his stomach on his bed and started to sob.

    He asked me if I thought he was depressed. I told him yes. He asked what he could do about it. Remembering that he wasn't willing to talk to anyone, I told him he could make an appointment with our GP and get a script for an AD. He then asked if I thought he should talk to [therapist]. I told him, yes.

    Then he starts to panic because he won't be able to see her because of his work hours (he works 11:30am to 8pm with frequent overtime, often til 9:30pm). I told him therapist schedules her first appointment at 10am and he'd have plenty of time.

    So, tomorrow morning I'm calling tdocs office to see how soon she can get him in. I'm afraid he's nearing his breaking point. I'm very worried about him. He could really use the power of the board right now.

  2. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    Flutterby - I am praying for you and your difficult child and Family.
  3. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Thank you, ILT.

    Mods, I meant to post this in WC. Could you please move it for me?
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Gentle cyber hugs to easy child and to you. I hope he follows through and keeps the appointment. At least he talked to you about it and seems willing to get help.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending hugs and prayers.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Prayers and hugs going out.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Flutter -

    Is he asking you for advice or is he asking you to fix it? I'm asking you because I'm going through similar things with Dude right now and I stepped out of it and said "What do you want to do?" and haven't gotten an answer back.

    My thoughts are either (they) are SO depressed they don't have an answer and need someone to do things for them until they can get out of the despair OR it would help them MORE to sit and think what can I do for myself and just be supportive "IF" -

    I'm just curious what you think - at least your son is working, has a girlfriend, drivers license etc. Maybe if you tell him Dude doesn't even have THAT it will make your son feel better....I don't know. (ahem) ugh.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Heather, I'm sending good thoughts for your son.

  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thinking good thoughts and hoping he follows thru with the plan.

    Bear in mind some kids at this age tend to freak out at the thought they are suddenly "adults". It doesn't usually last long.....but the symptoms can be similar.

    I'm glad he decided to listen. Keeping fingers crossed and sending good vibes and juju.

  10. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Thank you all.

    Star, he is asking me for advice, but he's desperate. It's more like hand holding.

    Lisa, I think some of it is his age, but he has been dancing in and out and around this all year.

    He quit his job today. Sigh..... I'm really not too upset because they have some savings and he couldn't get in to see therapist while he was working where he was. I thought her first appointment was at 10am and it's at 10:30am. He has to leave for work by 11am. Right now, his mental health is more important. He already has an interview lined up for Wednesday.

    And he didn't quit without permission - from me and my mom. He's really at his breaking point.
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Can therapist seem him soon?

    At least he's talking to you and being honest and realizing he needs help with this.

  12. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    She could have gotten him in Monday at 4pm. She always has cancellations, so even though she's scheduling 2 weeks out, he'll be able to get in.

    Besides, we'll soon be single-handedly supporting her practice. :tongue:
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my prayers. Hugs to you and easy child.