easy child on

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Wiped Out, Apr 5, 2009.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    probation for her scholarship program. Her gpa this past quarter was a 2.1. She doesn't even seemed phased. It's so sad, she is going to end up throwing away a full tuition scholarship to a great university.

    We just got her state testing results. She scored advanced in three areas and at the high end of proficient in the other two areas. She is so capable but so not putting forth any effort.

    I truly wish I knew why she doesn't do any work. Part of it, I think, is her depression. Part of it may be she is such a perfectionist. I think sometimes she feels if she can't be perfect why try. I remember when she was little and would rip up something she had written if it wasn't perfect. Sometimes I think there is some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) stuff and anxiety going on too. (She always has to check which silverware she gets-no spots allowed-same with glasses and plates)

    Part of it could be laziness-she is lazy (but is that due to the depression?) Part of it is typical teen stuff.

    I wish I knew exactly what was going on so I could help more. It is so frustrating. She has so many plans for her future, including college, yet it is all too far away for her to see what she is doing. Sigh.
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    hugs. I am sorry she is not thinking of her future. It is hard at that age to realize that your actions at that time impact your future several years down the road. It has got to be hard to know what she is doing.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    At that age.........they think they have all the time in the world for an education. It's not all that uncommon to see an overachiever slack off when they start college. For many of the reasons you described.....but also because it's their first taste of freedom......and trying to balance that with the load of college classes and the different way a college is set up. The latter tends to effect each kid differently.

    I hope she snaps out of it soon, before she loses that scholarship. It would be a shame to see it wasted.

  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    At this age, with all the hormones & young teenage angst, not to mention a difficult child sibling I'd think it would be hard to motivate anyone yet alone your easy child.

    in my humble opinion, it's far too early to be offering scholarships ~ wait until a child/young adult hits 16 & hormones, life has settled a bit; maturity has really struck. I think it sets kids up to fail at this young age.

    Given that I hope you can find answers for easy child. The scholarship is in her hot little hands & it's up to her to continue to maintain it.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Crazymama-Thanks for the hugs-I know she just can't see how this is going to affect her and I know she will look back and be sorry about this in the future.

    Lisa-Everything you said is so true and she isn't even in college yet. This is a scholarship program for minorities. It starts in 6th grade and goes all the way through to high school. She just hasn't worked hard her freshman or sophomore year. It is so sad because all of the teachers always comment on how involved in class discussions and how she seems to grasp everything but just doesn't do the work.

    Linda-I so agree about this being too young but the way it works is if she gets accepted to the UW they will pay her tuition. At this rate that just doesn't look like it is going to happen.

    I am still worried about her as she has barely come out of her bedroom the entire weekend. Most of the time she is sleeping, sometimes reading or listening to music. I know typical teen but literally she hasn't been down with us for more than some meals. If she was doing things with friends I would be less worried.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    There could be several things going on. You may need to set up a specific study/homework time where she sits at the kitchen table, the other kids are doing homework or in another part of the house being QUIET and you are there cooking or doing something quiet so you can supervise and help.

    If she "doesn't have homework" giving her an assignment from you to work on is reasonable. Asking for 1 hour per day, or even 1 1/2 hours is not too much.

    Did she have to study in earlier grades or did the good grades just come easily? She may not actually know HOW to study. This is a real problem in gifted kids. They don't have to work in the early years so studying isn't something they learn. Then they need to have those study skills and they just do NOT. So they get 2.1 GPAs. (been there done that myself!)

    Another parent mentioned they had one of those accordion folders with lots of sections for their child to keep work in. maybe one of those would help her get her not forget to bring things hoem to work on. If carrying the textbooks is a problem, esp for her back (children should carry no more than about 15% of their weight in their backpacks. 1 or 2 textbooks can put MANY kids over the weight limit very easily.), then you can request a copy of her books to keep at home. That way she can't tell you she doesn't have the book.

    These are just suggestions, things we found helped a lot with Wiz and things that helped me with similar problems to what your daughter is having.

    husband had a real problem reading for comprehension. We spent $200 on an Effective Reading course. Kids in high school can take it. the class not only boosted the speed that he reads at, it gave him so much more comprehension than he had ever had before. It was very much worth the $200 (and you can go back for refreshers as often as you want at NO CHARGE). It is offered on many college campuses and if you want I can get a website for you.

    It would be a shame if she lost the scholarship after all this time. But it wouldn't be the end of the world.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon...I know how you feel about the scholarship. This guy who was born in my county and went to school at the same school Cory did in first grade adopted his class. He came out and talked to that class at the end of the year and told them all that if they worked hard, studied to the best of their abilities and graduated on time that he would provide a college education for them. Sigh. We all know where that went with Cory. I have no idea how many of his class took advantage of that man's offer. First grade was just too young in my opinion to make that offer...the kids had no idea what it meant.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Susie-Thanks Susie-great ideas! She never did have to study when she was younger. Her teachers in elementary school barely gave any hw and not much in middle school. However, the scholarship program she is in has taught study skills. We cannot get her to do hw in the kitchen, she flat out refuses to do it anywhere but up in her bedroom. Unfortunately, rewards and consequences don't mean much to her and so it is hard to motivate. I have, however, (much to my chagrin) offered her $ if she does well this quarter. Her comprehension is actually off the charts, she once had a perfect score on her state reading tests. This is what I don't get, she is so capable, not necessarily gifted, but capable.

    Janet-Wow-that is young! I hope someone was able to take advantage of it.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Im sure someone did...lol. My sentence structure in that post was horrendous.

    The man who adopted the class had something to do with NASA. I cant really remember if he was an actual astronaut or just worked with NASA but I was pretty impressed that someone from this area actually did that well for themselves. I know that sounds odd or bad but really in the old days it wasnt common for people in this area to actually finish school. This school was probably 75% American Indian if not more and the drop out rate was through the roof.