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easy child stopped talking to us around Christmas time
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 633002" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>As a relative easy child with both mommy and daddy issues, I too vote for letting her have some space and time. When we grow up, there is a time we evaluate our childhood, several in fact, but the first one tends to be soon after we leave home. When there has been bigger issues, even older ones, they tend to come forefront again and need some working through before things can be truly forgiven and moved on from.</p><p></p><p>Let's face it, when we are minors and our parents have total control over our life, we simply don't have much chance to look them critically or not to 'forgive' them anything and everything. It is about survival. It is only after we have bit distance and safe place of our own before we can look back and truly think through things that happened. And after that long of suppressing it all, things tend to seem very big, even bigger than they are. It takes some work to get through it, understand that our parents are just human and prone to humanly errors and forgive that and build a relationship a new. </p><p></p><p>I know it took me couple years to work through and forgive my mom after leaving home, and I did go through it soon again when I got pregnant with difficult child, other typical time to go through your relationship with your mom, but after that turmoil I was able to see my mom in totally different light and we built a really good relationship again. Unfortunately my mom didn't live too many years after that, but those years were great for us, as hurtful, or at times even nonexistent as our relationship had been when I was in my early twenties.</p><p></p><p>I haven't yet gone through this with my sons, easy child is still at home and difficult child is still way too immature and dependent of us to take this step in growing up and take a critical look to us, but I do know it will be coming. And considering everything it will likely not be pretty.</p><p></p><p>I'm very sorry you are hurting. And sorry that your daughter is probably also hurting. But with all likelihood there will be time to reconcile soon again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 633002, member: 14557"] As a relative easy child with both mommy and daddy issues, I too vote for letting her have some space and time. When we grow up, there is a time we evaluate our childhood, several in fact, but the first one tends to be soon after we leave home. When there has been bigger issues, even older ones, they tend to come forefront again and need some working through before things can be truly forgiven and moved on from. Let's face it, when we are minors and our parents have total control over our life, we simply don't have much chance to look them critically or not to 'forgive' them anything and everything. It is about survival. It is only after we have bit distance and safe place of our own before we can look back and truly think through things that happened. And after that long of suppressing it all, things tend to seem very big, even bigger than they are. It takes some work to get through it, understand that our parents are just human and prone to humanly errors and forgive that and build a relationship a new. I know it took me couple years to work through and forgive my mom after leaving home, and I did go through it soon again when I got pregnant with difficult child, other typical time to go through your relationship with your mom, but after that turmoil I was able to see my mom in totally different light and we built a really good relationship again. Unfortunately my mom didn't live too many years after that, but those years were great for us, as hurtful, or at times even nonexistent as our relationship had been when I was in my early twenties. I haven't yet gone through this with my sons, easy child is still at home and difficult child is still way too immature and dependent of us to take this step in growing up and take a critical look to us, but I do know it will be coming. And considering everything it will likely not be pretty. I'm very sorry you are hurting. And sorry that your daughter is probably also hurting. But with all likelihood there will be time to reconcile soon again. [/QUOTE]
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easy child stopped talking to us around Christmas time
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