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Parent Emeritus
easy child stopped talking to us around Christmas time
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 633065" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I'm so sorry. How very sad. I'm very glad you are seeing a therapist. My first thought is that her bio father convinced her that it is all your fault that he left. Perhaps she feels that she lost her bio father because of you. True or not true, maybe he said you were drinking. Did it start way back then? When she let lose on the vacation, it might mean that she has a lot of pent up anger and it seems that she got it all out...but in reality, that was just the tip of the iceberg. AND your ex took advantage of that. Just thoughts....</p><p></p><p>I see Witzend's point. I think it is good that you gave her space, but I wouldn't go too long with that.</p><p></p><p>Although her anger might be very exaggerated or even totally unfounded, it might just fester as time goes by. Or she may be deeply conflicted and you not attempting to get in touch with her might be fuel for the fire. So, in other words, "see, my mom never really loved me, never really cared and she's probably drinking again because she's not even trying to get in touch with me"</p><p></p><p>At some point, I would extend an olive branch and tell her that you love her and would like to address any questions she has. Maybe offer to go to family counseling together.</p><p></p><p>However, I would take your time before I would mention the insurance.However, at some point in the future, this would need to be addressed as it is inappropriate to continue paying for it under the circumstances. But, I would hold off/take your time on this particular item.</p><p></p><p>And finally, if you do extend an olive branch and tell her you love her, offer counseling, etc. ....and she still doesn't respond....I probably would just detach and wait and see if she comes around at some point. There is only so much you can do and life moves on.</p><p></p><p>Wishing you well ... I know this has to hurt your mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 633065, member: 4152"] I'm so sorry. How very sad. I'm very glad you are seeing a therapist. My first thought is that her bio father convinced her that it is all your fault that he left. Perhaps she feels that she lost her bio father because of you. True or not true, maybe he said you were drinking. Did it start way back then? When she let lose on the vacation, it might mean that she has a lot of pent up anger and it seems that she got it all out...but in reality, that was just the tip of the iceberg. AND your ex took advantage of that. Just thoughts.... I see Witzend's point. I think it is good that you gave her space, but I wouldn't go too long with that. Although her anger might be very exaggerated or even totally unfounded, it might just fester as time goes by. Or she may be deeply conflicted and you not attempting to get in touch with her might be fuel for the fire. So, in other words, "see, my mom never really loved me, never really cared and she's probably drinking again because she's not even trying to get in touch with me" At some point, I would extend an olive branch and tell her that you love her and would like to address any questions she has. Maybe offer to go to family counseling together. However, I would take your time before I would mention the insurance.However, at some point in the future, this would need to be addressed as it is inappropriate to continue paying for it under the circumstances. But, I would hold off/take your time on this particular item. And finally, if you do extend an olive branch and tell her you love her, offer counseling, etc. ....and she still doesn't respond....I probably would just detach and wait and see if she comes around at some point. There is only so much you can do and life moves on. Wishing you well ... I know this has to hurt your mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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easy child stopped talking to us around Christmas time
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