I've been reading a thread the last couple of days about a 14 yr old stepson that is really over the top and needs to leave the house. I read about what he does and can't keep from wondering if that is my future if I do not place my difficult child somewhere. When I first found this sight a few years ago I read about people having to put their difficult children in a psychiatric hospital, or call the police, and I knew that was coming. Someone posted on the other thread about once you get difficult child out of the house the other kids start telling you about all the things difficult child did to them and what you thought you knew was only the beginning. My difficult child is almost 11 now and a very big kid. My youngest easy child is 8, and teeny tiny. This morning I went outside for less than 4 minutes and came back in to easy child crying and difficult child in the floor with a big red spot on his leg. difficult child's story: difficult child was poking at easy child with foot. easy child asked him to stop. difficult child claimed to be stretching (you and I know he was just trying to annoy him). easy child hit difficult child on bottom with remote. difficult child slapped easy child in face. easy child hit difficult child on leg with remote. difficult child took remote away. I come in around then. When I tried to ask easy child what happened he just got under the blanket and shut down. easy child has started hitting lately, and shutting down too. The shutting down bothers me more than the hitting. Not that the hitting is acceptable or anything like that. But I imagine he is just trying to dish out what he gets served. The shutting down bothers me because I think it is more of an indication of emotional trauma. The hitting could be too, but I am worried about the shut downs. I could be wrong, but if you are hitting you still think you are worth fighting for. If you shut down, you've decided you don't matter. difficult child had yoga today and I took the opportunity to ask easy child about difficult child's behaviors toward him. easy child went from us playing tic tac toe fun mode to shut down and draw on the paper. Wouldn't talk. Wouldn't shake head yes or no. No eye contact...I wrote yes and no on the paper and told him just to point to one. He was reluctant at first but eventually started writing his own words or sentences. What I found out is that difficult child has choked him, about 10 times. He is scared of difficult child. He thinks life would be better if difficult child was not here. That difficult child does have something wrong with him. THat difficult child might get help somewhere else. Denied any touching on privates. I am so resentful of difficult child. I'm am tired of watching him destroy everyone around him. This is the part where you guys tell me, well then do something. We have already been in the process of enrolling difficult child somewhere and he goes to a camp in July. And there are a lot of other things that we have done trying to do accomplish him getting better. I know he has something wrong, but I'm tired of that point. It is still terrible for all the innocent bystanders/victims that he bulldozes! I have had the worst feelings for difficult child over the last 6wks than ever. It suddenly makes perfect sense why in the way back when days if a defective child was born they took it out to the wildness and left it. They did not have the resources to put enough energy into that child because if they did, the rest of the family could not survive. I feel like I have to "sacrifice" difficult child in order for the other two to make it out okay. Things have come to our attention lately that make it crystal clear that the easy child's are being negatively affected by the chaos and turmoil. 13 yr old girls should not have to call 911 because mom is getting attacked by her brother. And they certainly shouldn't have to still be doing it two years later. Youngest easy child had to do it once also. So, youngest easy child went to grandma's today and will probibly stay until July. Oldest easy child is already out of town visiting bio dad. I can fend for myself if needed, but it is too hard to try to do it and protect the others as well. Not to mention, 8 yr old easy child has already been overexposed to difficult child's violence. Thanks for listening. I'm struggling to keep my head above water.