easy child's crummy paper, neice in rehab

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Oct 23, 2007.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    easy child got her paper back, the one she wrote on the event that changed her life. I showed her how to do Track Changes in Word, but she wasn't listening ... turned it in a day late, with-the gray brackets and comments still all over the place. (It was late because easy child got to school late because we had a child psychiatric appointment for difficult child. I will email teacher and explain.) Teacher gave her a C-. Ack! easy child is hoping she can fix it up and turn it in for a better grade in the a.m.
    Meanwhile, my little sister just got back from a very cool trip to England. She lives near my dad, who has Alzheimer's, so although he's in a nice retirement complex, he still has to take medications and be carted around. He has issues with-diarrhea--we think he's lactose intolerant--and messed up his pants and shoes so badly, M. had to throw them away. Then her sewer line broke and they are now pulling up the carpeting on the main floor of her house. And her 21-yr-old difficult child is back in rehab.
    For the 4th time.
    I know she wants to hop back on a plane and go back to England.

    Every now and then, she makes comments about detaching, like, "If she makes it through the next yr ..." and I don't know if she means with-o going back to rehab, or not making it at all, as in accidentally overdosing. It's really scary and M. won't talk about it much. She did ask us to call C. to cheer her on about an art fair she was participating in, since my sister (her mom) would be out of town. We did that, and C. didn't do the art fair because her boyfriend didn't show up or some such excuse.

    How much do you all tell your families about extended families' issues? We see this neice twice a yr and everyone loves her. She's cute and adorable and funny. When she's not moody and hiding in her room. My easy child knows a little bit, but difficult child doesn't know anything.

    I don't know how my sister can sleep at night.

    During Thanksgiving, Dad will be in Fla with-my brother and his family. Then we all go to Calif for Christmas. I usually take Dad in June, but I'm thinking we should have him in Jan. for a while, to help my sister.
    Or I could fly up there and stay in his apt., which would give me a break from difficult child. (Believe me, it's way easier dealing with-my dad than difficult child!)

    Sorry, just rambling.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry about easy child's paper on difficult child.

    It's sad to hear your niece is struggling and your sister is having such a difficult time.

    It would be nice if you can help your sister and a break from difficult child isn't a bad thing.

  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Terry, I was the main caretaker for my dad for 3 yrs. The last 6 months was a lot of messes,hospital visits and decisions. I am absolutely so grateful for my husband's support and my siblings help. If my sister came for a saturday afternoon to take dad out for a ride for a few hours, it lightened the load.
    They were grateful that I took the main brunt but I am forever grateful for my sisters and brother's offering help or giving me relief when I looked like I needed it.

    I say if sis is overwhelmed, then by all means share the load with her for a few days. Even if you both work together it will be a relief for her.

    I would not share a lot with difficult child. It isn't necessary. A bit of info goes a long way.

  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I shouldn't "what-if" things. I'm too good at that!
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I cared for my grandmother during the months before she passed away. Believe me, your sister will be thrilled if you can spend a bit of time with Dad and she can have a much deserved, and probably needed, break. Plus you get the added bonus of spending some time with your Dad. :smile:
  6. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I also think giving someone a break for any length you can is a Godsend.
    no one needs to know anything that doesnt directly affect them.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    I emailed PCs English teacher in regard to getting a late pass for the day her paper was due. I rec'd a strongly worded reply that easy child had had 3 wks to do the assignment and could have handed it in a day early. Ack!
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Is easy child in college? If not, then that is maybe going overboard. If she had been at school and not handedit in, then OK. Otherwise it should have been an excused absence and our principal would put a stop to the late penalty. Hope you can work it out.

    As for Dad, give sis a break whenever you can. Have an open and empathetic ear when she chooses to open up. Maybe a card saying you know she is under a lot of stress, you will come to help out, and are always available to listen if she wants to talk or vent? I know when my gma was ill it helped when my mom sent cards or whatever to my aunt.


  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Did easy child know she would be late to school?
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, easy child knew she would be late. She left the assignment to the night b4. She has done that b4 ... quite the procrastinator.
    She is in a competetive college prep school. This English class is AP honors, which means that supposedly she will not have to take this exact class in college. It's very good training because she really needs to plan ahead. The teacher said there is a weekly planner for her class and easy child has not used it. (What a shock!)
    We took away PCs cell ph and house ph at 8 p.m. last night. She can use them around dinnertime but we will take them away every night. I forgot to disconnect her Internet and will have to do that every night, too.
    Sheesh, all this stuff to remember ...
    Thanks for your concern.