easy child's wedding

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Aug 29, 2011.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I have not been here in a while. That is good right? Although I needed to be.

    I am so sorry I missed the reunion near Chicago. I drive right by that hotel on the days/nights I work. But, that particular week I was on vacation so I was not in the area.

    easy child is married now. What a dramatic ordeal. OMG....It was horrible. Week before the wedding was the worst. easy child, my good layed back child found it necessary to yell, scream, break things in my house. Said some horrible things to me/about me.
    husband actually went over there after he found the house with broken, shattered things all over. He thought it was difficult child...which is not ok, but has happened in the past. I begged him not to go over to easy child's apartment. It was 5 days before the wedding and I didn't want any trouble. He said, "I stayed out of all the he said/she said ****,,,now he has crossed the line". It was horrible. And the worst, is that the whole thing started because he and difficult child were texting, and difficult child happened to say something I had said. "he's being mean".

    I couldn't even speak to easy child. He called to apologize two days in a row, many times. But I know husband demanded an apology. And I was just NOT ready to speak to him. Finally the day of the rehearsal, I knew I had to pick up the phone. I wanted to say, "I love you, but this is NOT ok, and we'll talk about this another time". But, all I got out was I love you.

    Rehearsal went well. Wedding was perfect.

    Never want to do this again. When difficult child gets married....ELOPE!!! many many months of drama.

    I really wasn't involved much, and I wanted to be. Bride and her mother did most everything. And I do understand that is normal. But I didn't even know what time the rehearsal was, didn't see the bridesmaid dresses, didn't know anything. easy child thinks I did, but I didn't.

    I was a single mom with easy child. He and I had a rough start. He was such a good boy. As a little infant, I use to dance around my house singing "for bobby for baby" by John Denver. At MY wedding he was 9, and that was the song the two of us danced to.
    At HIS wedding, they had the father daughter dance, then the Mother/son dance. And he chose "for bobby for baby"....I just cried. That song means so much to me.

    I do understand that easy child was stressed. His job is on the road for weeks at a time, and he had a wedding to plan. And I DO understand he really didn't have anyone to take it out on, couldn't yell at his future wife or in-laws. I was it. But to push me and break things in my house was too much.

    Wedding is done. Now plan on the birth of their child in November. Praying that I will get to spend time with my grandchild. They do everything with her family and rarely see them. Makes it more difficult because I work weekend nights out of town and he is on the road a lot.

    difficult child was great at the wedding. He was in the wedding party. Caught the garter.

    I never even realized how stressed I was until it is all over. Glad it is done.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Phew/Whew! I am so glad that ordeal is behind you. Genuinely sorry that a meltdown was part of the preamble. What a shock that must have been for you and husband. Sending hugs and hoping that you take some time to completely chill. Hugs. DDD
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    kjs the fact that your son remembered your song means quite a bit actually. I think it will be okay.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Big hugs, kjs. Sorry there was that horrible time beforehand, but it sounds like he made up for it with the mom/son song. Very nice touch to bring you into his fold. Keep thinking positive about the new baby and maybe it will happen for you all. That baby is an extension of you.
  5. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Sounds like a terrible time. I am glad that it is done and over with for you too!!! One plus is that difficult child was in the wedding and it seems like he handled himself well.
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Glad the drama is over for you now, too!

    I hope they don't keep you at arm's length with the new baby. I know how hurtful that would be. Just know that there are many, many years of bonding opportunity you will have and in my opinion, you have a bigger impact once they get out of their toddler years and can actually start to retain some longer-term memories. Who knows, your work schedule could change to make it more convenient to see them over the next few years, too.