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Substance Abuse
email from son in prison
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<blockquote data-quote="Weary Mother" data-source="post: 703739" data-attributes="member: 20487"><p>Well, things are not too bad right now. Son is still in prison and will be for some time yet. He entered a drug program this week and says it is the same one he was in the first time but he is planning to take it more seriously this time. Wrote me a letter thanking me for standing by him, visiting and giving support. It was a nice email, he told me how hard drugs have been for him and how he never ever thought that things would get this bad for his life. He acknowledged the loss of all his family and friends and how hard that is on him now. He also shared his anxiety over the future. I have not answered yet, I am considering my reply carefully. This is so hard, knowing how many times drugs can grab a person, that I am just frozen with fear over how to proceed. Of course I want to give him support and wish to see him do well. But the boundaries that we all talk about here makes me cautious as to now have him become dependent upon me and me upon him, co-dependent. I see how this could set up that scenario. Middle line I don't know where it is at times. So, any input as normal helps here. My inclination is to encourage him and let him know that I understand his anxiety over what he will do when he gets out, where he will live and how he will manage being alone. But to tell him there are many resources that if he is serious he can make it on his own and that I am at an age that I cannot allow myself to become anyone's helper.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Weary Mother, post: 703739, member: 20487"] Well, things are not too bad right now. Son is still in prison and will be for some time yet. He entered a drug program this week and says it is the same one he was in the first time but he is planning to take it more seriously this time. Wrote me a letter thanking me for standing by him, visiting and giving support. It was a nice email, he told me how hard drugs have been for him and how he never ever thought that things would get this bad for his life. He acknowledged the loss of all his family and friends and how hard that is on him now. He also shared his anxiety over the future. I have not answered yet, I am considering my reply carefully. This is so hard, knowing how many times drugs can grab a person, that I am just frozen with fear over how to proceed. Of course I want to give him support and wish to see him do well. But the boundaries that we all talk about here makes me cautious as to now have him become dependent upon me and me upon him, co-dependent. I see how this could set up that scenario. Middle line I don't know where it is at times. So, any input as normal helps here. My inclination is to encourage him and let him know that I understand his anxiety over what he will do when he gets out, where he will live and how he will manage being alone. But to tell him there are many resources that if he is serious he can make it on his own and that I am at an age that I cannot allow myself to become anyone's helper. [/QUOTE]
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