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email from son in prison
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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 703748" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>You should ALWAYS encourage improved behavior and thought processes, but you also need to protect your own emotional well being. Addicts relapse. A lot. Some never stop relapsing. Some never even experience a lapse in the first place. Unfortunately, it is what it is. The hardest thing for us to do is to truly accept that we have lost all control, if we even had it to begin with. We are accustomed to instant gratification, and recovery is anything but that. It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of discomfort. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. We have to rebuild ourselves from the ground up. It isn't as simple as just not taking drugs. Good chance your son is not taking drugs right now, but that isn't an accomplishment when you have no choice in the matter. The true test comes after he is released. He WILL, sooner or later, find himself in a position where using is convenient. It is how he faces that situation that will be telling. He should do everything in his power to cut out any and all parts of his life that could lead to that, but you can't get EVERYTHING. Unless you're willing to strand yourself on a deserted island with a volley ball named Wilson. </p><p></p><p>Keep in mind, for an addict truly in recovery, relapse isn't necessarily failure, or completely bad. If we can take something away from that relapse, then we have yet made some progress. So, while it is disheartening to see, it doesn't necessarily mean he has failed, or that he doesn't want to succeed. Encourage and support him in endeavors that will actually benefit his life, and refuse to be a part of any that will hurt him. Ultimately, the ball is in his court. Any relationship you have with him from this point on needs to be on YOUR terms, and not his. You've already compromised enough. When he is ready to move forward, he will accept that compromises will need to come from him, as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 703748, member: 20267"] You should ALWAYS encourage improved behavior and thought processes, but you also need to protect your own emotional well being. Addicts relapse. A lot. Some never stop relapsing. Some never even experience a lapse in the first place. Unfortunately, it is what it is. The hardest thing for us to do is to truly accept that we have lost all control, if we even had it to begin with. We are accustomed to instant gratification, and recovery is anything but that. It takes a lot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of discomfort. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. We have to rebuild ourselves from the ground up. It isn't as simple as just not taking drugs. Good chance your son is not taking drugs right now, but that isn't an accomplishment when you have no choice in the matter. The true test comes after he is released. He WILL, sooner or later, find himself in a position where using is convenient. It is how he faces that situation that will be telling. He should do everything in his power to cut out any and all parts of his life that could lead to that, but you can't get EVERYTHING. Unless you're willing to strand yourself on a deserted island with a volley ball named Wilson. Keep in mind, for an addict truly in recovery, relapse isn't necessarily failure, or completely bad. If we can take something away from that relapse, then we have yet made some progress. So, while it is disheartening to see, it doesn't necessarily mean he has failed, or that he doesn't want to succeed. Encourage and support him in endeavors that will actually benefit his life, and refuse to be a part of any that will hurt him. Ultimately, the ball is in his court. Any relationship you have with him from this point on needs to be on YOUR terms, and not his. You've already compromised enough. When he is ready to move forward, he will accept that compromises will need to come from him, as well. [/QUOTE]
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