email I sent brother

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DavidH, Mar 22, 2008.

  1. DavidH

    DavidH Guest

    For those of you who know about the Brother issue... I put allot of thought into this.. as I said before I knew he would be trying to call.. he has been for days now... I just have not been able to asnwer his calls... but I also did not want him to think I was ignoring him - So here is what I sent..

    Good? bad? I think it gets my point accross with out being mean.. right?

    I see you have called a few times, I have either been busy at work or just wiped out from work and going back and forth to deal with things going on (good) with Justin. Plus I am kind of confused as to how you are being.

    I am not exactly pleased however I am not upset in the least, and yes I do have an understanding of your situation (problems with family here and dealing with girls in VT) at least from what I know of it which is almost zero since you do not communicate with me anymore.

    But I owe you at least an explanation and will give you time to think about how actions can hurt other people even if we do not know we are doing it.

    As far as the paper work I asked for help on over the last few months - in the end you did not help - not your problem, I put my own self in the position and I take on full responsibility for it.

    Mom asked for help finding a car, I did not know she asked you months ago, she said she did not want to ask me due to all I have going on and me just now getting back on my feet and dealing with my own issues, until she realized you were not helping.

    And a big one for me is your dislike of my Son your Nephew, yes it is very clear and not only to me (or Mom)

    I have always been able to over look allot of things in this messed up family of ours it still to this day amazes me how everyone treats the others.

    I have never said No to anyone asking for my help on anything if I could do it I would at the drop of a hat. In return I ask for nothing but the love I live for. Yet once I do need help (and you can trust the fact that it takes allot for me to ask for help from anyone.) I am ignored even if I am told yes you would help when it comes time it never happens. No it does not happen often, but that is because I do not ask for help.

    Yet I am still asked for help as if nothing ever happened -

    The sad part is I want to help, I enjoy helping not only family but anyone who ask or needs it - so I find it very hard to say No - that is my own issues I deal with in my personal and business life

    So No, I will not be helping you move for two reasons, one after you asked me I moved a few mattresses around as I do everyday and of course could not breath and I know there is no way in this world I would be able to go up and down stairs moving furniture and boxes. And two I need to say no as I seem to be the whip boy - ask David he will do it, he will do anything - I seem to remember asking for help moving a couple of times during Justin's terror - and in the end doing it all by myself.

    Once again the sad part is I like and even enjoy being asked for help and over the last few years the only time I got to see my Brother was when he needed help... so yea I did not mind

    I placed an ad on CL for you and sent you the results, many guys willing to do it for 20 an hour which is much better even for you in my opinion, as I know even you have a hard time carrying stuff. So I feel that is your best bet.

    I have felt the last few days was best just to let things go and give you time and hope you would see what you did and how things seem to of become - I hate the fact that things seem to be falling for you like the rest of this stupid family does - you detach and have detached from everyone and I never thought that would happen between you and I. But we are grown adult men so I guess I have to accept things as they are.

    I hope this is just a bump in the road and once you read this and maybe give some thought to it on how someone else feels, things can be corrected but that is not up to me - I am still out here just doing my thing - and trying to be there for a sick child to help him get over what has happened to him.

    I expect no response - again I felt you deserved a response as I do not want to be ugly or rude and ignore you

    Love ya
  2. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    I don't know the history of you and your brother, but I thought the letter was great! I think you expressed yourself eloquently and were giving solid reasons as to your feelings. Sometimes getting things out on paper is amazing. I do hope this will bring some closure to your situation and I applaud you for communicating with bro. My bro and I have had a rocky relationship and I think communication like this is essential. It leaves no question in bro's head as to how you feel and what your expectations are. Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry it has come down to this for you guys - but I definitely think you did the right thing - You go boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I think its a good letter. Be prepared, he may be angry. But I ddn't find your letter accusatory, just stating things as you see them. Hopefully bro will read it and realize that even if he didn't mean it that way, it came across that way, and there's some fence mending that needs to take place.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Very eloquent. You stated what happened, your confusion, your feelings of rejecting (with good reasons WHY you feel this way), and took responsiblity for YOU.

    Takes a strong man to write a letter like that.