Thursday night difficult child had a fit over doing his homework and not being able to get on the computer until it was done. Just so haqppens Family Preservation was her for their weekly appointment so that made it worse. difficult child told them he was having homicidal thoughts towards us and had an order in which he would attack us OMG!! So he was reevaluated and we had in take him to a place in KC which is 3 1/2 hours from here. Now he is telling them he dont want to come home because he is afraid he cant control himself much longer. They asked me about a PRTF but I am confused and hurt. I feel like if I place him somewhere that I am giving up on him But I have several small children and I need to protect them.
Emergency Evaluation...
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gcvmom
Here we go again!
I think this sums it all up. You're not giving up on difficult child. Clearly you cannot give him adequate support at this time when he is falling apart, and you absolutely must keep the younger kids safe.
I hope that wherever he ends up they can get him stabilized. You don't say if he's taking medications right now or what they are. Perhaps the solution lies there?
JJJ
Active Member
If he had cancer and needed to be hospitalized for treatment, would allowing him to be hospitalized be "giving up" or "getting him the treatment he needs"?
It is the same thing, you will be allowing him to get the medical treatment he needs.
And what an amazing kid to cry out for help BEFORE he tries to kill anyone.
It is the same thing, you will be allowing him to get the medical treatment he needs.
And what an amazing kid to cry out for help BEFORE he tries to kill anyone.
gcvmom
Here we go again!
It must be horrible for him to feel so out of control. 
I'm not a doctor, and I don't even play one on the internet, but maybe Depakote is not the right MS for him? If it's determined that depression is the reason for his explosive anger, something like Lamictal might be better since it has a reputation for treating the depressive end of mood disorders better than a lot of other MS.
I know that my husband, (who is still has no official diagnosis since he's never asked about it) who was very explosive in his anger, became a different person when he started Lamictal for seizures. He is like night and day in his ability to remain calm and even-tempered, even when he does get upset. He is also on Paxil (long story why) and the combo of the two really, really has helped him.
I guess what I want you take from all this is that you should probably question the medications he's on since they're clearly not working the way they should. He's either not at the right dosage or they're just not the right medications for him period. His doctors will hopefully be asking those same questions!
I'm not a doctor, and I don't even play one on the internet, but maybe Depakote is not the right MS for him? If it's determined that depression is the reason for his explosive anger, something like Lamictal might be better since it has a reputation for treating the depressive end of mood disorders better than a lot of other MS.
I know that my husband, (who is still has no official diagnosis since he's never asked about it) who was very explosive in his anger, became a different person when he started Lamictal for seizures. He is like night and day in his ability to remain calm and even-tempered, even when he does get upset. He is also on Paxil (long story why) and the combo of the two really, really has helped him.
I guess what I want you take from all this is that you should probably question the medications he's on since they're clearly not working the way they should. He's either not at the right dosage or they're just not the right medications for him period. His doctors will hopefully be asking those same questions!
LittleDudesMom
Well-Known Member
Thanks for doing a signature, it helps us keep members straight in our minds!
I think the others have already said what I feel. Your son needs help and needs to be somewhere where he can be evaluated and his medications can be checked. Apparently the current combo is not working.
You must keep yourself and the rest of the family safe.
Sharon
I think the others have already said what I feel. Your son needs help and needs to be somewhere where he can be evaluated and his medications can be checked. Apparently the current combo is not working.
You must keep yourself and the rest of the family safe.
Sharon
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Definitely, the medications are not working.
I'm glad he is able to verbally express his thoughts to you, though. That is a very good thing.
Keep him out of the house and hospitalized as long as possible. Emphasize to the dr and staff that he is homicidal and suicidal.
If it's not exaggerated, they will send him home. Sorry to say, that's the way the game is played. And this is a serious game.
I'm glad he is able to verbally express his thoughts to you, though. That is a very good thing.
Keep him out of the house and hospitalized as long as possible. Emphasize to the dr and staff that he is homicidal and suicidal.
If it's not exaggerated, they will send him home. Sorry to say, that's the way the game is played. And this is a serious game.
(((hugs))))
I am so sorry! I know how scared you are. When my difficult child was 11 years old, he started to get self-harm thoughts and thoughts to harm/kill me. It scared him so bad.
We took a trip to the Twin Cities (Minnesota) and his body wanted him to jump from the 3rd floor belcony of the Mall of America. He was terrified. On the way home, he said, "Mom, I am scared to go home. I know where all the knives and hammers are." Yep, I was also terrified for him.
I called the therapist that we were scheduled to see in a month and told them we needed in NOW! We can not go another month. After begging, I got him in within a few days. I was told that if I felt he was in danger to take him to ER. He was not in immediate danger but we could not live like this another month.
The therapist went through his first visit orientation saying that he could only see difficult child once a month and if we needed more help to try the psychiatric hospital down the road which had out-patient day programs as well as in-patient ones.
When we left, difficult child fell apart. He begged for the psychiatric hospital. He just couldn't control himself any longer. So we went down the street and he was admitted.
The hardest thing I had to do was tell husband that difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital. I knew he would be upset but as usual, he didn't get angry.
Your difficult child is begging for help. The psychiatric hospital is equipped to handle these behaviors and as much as you don't want to see difficult child in trouble inside the psychiatric hospital, it really is best for him to have an "episode" so staff can document and docs can really see what is going on.
Your difficult child recognizing that there is a control issue is a good thing. You are not giving up on him, you are providing help that you can not give.
You know, it took a lot of courage for him to tell you about his thoughts. Kids have a hard time talking about what scares them. He trusts you to help him through this. You did the right thing.
I am so sorry! I know how scared you are. When my difficult child was 11 years old, he started to get self-harm thoughts and thoughts to harm/kill me. It scared him so bad.
We took a trip to the Twin Cities (Minnesota) and his body wanted him to jump from the 3rd floor belcony of the Mall of America. He was terrified. On the way home, he said, "Mom, I am scared to go home. I know where all the knives and hammers are." Yep, I was also terrified for him.
I called the therapist that we were scheduled to see in a month and told them we needed in NOW! We can not go another month. After begging, I got him in within a few days. I was told that if I felt he was in danger to take him to ER. He was not in immediate danger but we could not live like this another month.
The therapist went through his first visit orientation saying that he could only see difficult child once a month and if we needed more help to try the psychiatric hospital down the road which had out-patient day programs as well as in-patient ones.
When we left, difficult child fell apart. He begged for the psychiatric hospital. He just couldn't control himself any longer. So we went down the street and he was admitted.
The hardest thing I had to do was tell husband that difficult child was in the psychiatric hospital. I knew he would be upset but as usual, he didn't get angry.
Your difficult child is begging for help. The psychiatric hospital is equipped to handle these behaviors and as much as you don't want to see difficult child in trouble inside the psychiatric hospital, it really is best for him to have an "episode" so staff can document and docs can really see what is going on.
Your difficult child recognizing that there is a control issue is a good thing. You are not giving up on him, you are providing help that you can not give.
You know, it took a lot of courage for him to tell you about his thoughts. Kids have a hard time talking about what scares them. He trusts you to help him through this. You did the right thing.
JJJ
Active Member
Good! They need to see his mean side. It is the only way they can tell what help he needs!
timer lady
Queen of Hearts
I'm glad that your difficult child is at a place where he is safe & where you & your family will be safe until the medications or whatever can be figured out.
I have had my tweedles in treatment settings a combined 7 or 8 times; each time was because of physical aggression & dangerously out of control behaviors. Our family was not safe when that was going on.
Same with yours; take the time to breath now. Reconnect with the rest of your children. Don't take each call that comes through from your difficult child (he'll be working on a guilt trip for you). This treatment is about him - not you, not husband, nor his siblings. AND I know the guilt trip we can take on & our little wonders will feed it.
Hands grasped in prayer that if it's medications that a new medication combo can be worked out; that difficult child learns some different skills in the meantime rather than announcing he's losing it. That he learns self calming.
Keep us updated.
I have had my tweedles in treatment settings a combined 7 or 8 times; each time was because of physical aggression & dangerously out of control behaviors. Our family was not safe when that was going on.
Same with yours; take the time to breath now. Reconnect with the rest of your children. Don't take each call that comes through from your difficult child (he'll be working on a guilt trip for you). This treatment is about him - not you, not husband, nor his siblings. AND I know the guilt trip we can take on & our little wonders will feed it.
Hands grasped in prayer that if it's medications that a new medication combo can be worked out; that difficult child learns some different skills in the meantime rather than announcing he's losing it. That he learns self calming.
Keep us updated.
Sending him to get help is NOT giving up. It is just as simple as getting treatment for a gunshot wound. You have to get a doctor in there and see the damage so they can figure out how to help. The MI is the weapon that injures both him and your family.
My son was in a psychiatric hospital for 4 months. It made a HUGE difference, especially AFTER he showed them what he was like when he wanted to hurt someone.
A GOOD parent sees and hears her child's cries for help. She also knows when that help can only be provided at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or hospital sometimes.
Right now budgets are tight, esp in care for MI patients, so having them offer a bed means that he REALLY NEEDS the help.
My son was in a psychiatric hospital for 4 months. It made a HUGE difference, especially AFTER he showed them what he was like when he wanted to hurt someone.
A GOOD parent sees and hears her child's cries for help. She also knows when that help can only be provided at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or hospital sometimes.
Right now budgets are tight, esp in care for MI patients, so having them offer a bed means that he REALLY NEEDS the help.
