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<blockquote data-quote="Sunlight" data-source="post: 21919" data-attributes="member: 97"><p>Jo,</p><p>I offered boyfriend to go explore this relationship with the other person and we could part ways. I shook his hand and thanked him for being so good for me for three years and told him I am grateful for all he has done for me and my sons and Kaleb. I told him I wished him well. part of the problem is when he lied the first two times about the contact with her ending...I had told him I would trust and believe him. I truly thought he was above lying. </p><p></p><p>he said please give me a chance.</p><p></p><p>I told him then that I know myself and I would not tolerate disloyalty. my past of hurts and lies had made me know I will not lower my boundaries, I know to be more self-protective. </p><p></p><p>my ex was a known liar. I also refuse to be a warden with him ant or anyone else. I would simply choose to end my assocation with a toxic person. I do not want to be anyone's mother. lol</p><p></p><p>this is so true: "He got into that whole rescue mode and you called him on it, talked about, it promised to make it right again and you're moving past it. Now if he does it again, that's a different scenario and that's when you will have to really decide what you want in your life and if he's worth it. "</p><p></p><p>that is the crux of it. my two top criteria for a mate are</p><p>1. they be a christian </p><p>2. they be open and honest</p><p></p><p>the rest is not as important to me. everyone has faults including me, but we all know which we can turn a blind eye to and which would be fatal to the relationship. for me trust is crucial.</p><p></p><p>thanks. I am sure once the betrayal feeling passes and the feelings of wondering who he is on the phone with, who he talks to when not with me, and who he emails...once that passes...I will be more at peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sunlight, post: 21919, member: 97"] Jo, I offered boyfriend to go explore this relationship with the other person and we could part ways. I shook his hand and thanked him for being so good for me for three years and told him I am grateful for all he has done for me and my sons and Kaleb. I told him I wished him well. part of the problem is when he lied the first two times about the contact with her ending...I had told him I would trust and believe him. I truly thought he was above lying. he said please give me a chance. I told him then that I know myself and I would not tolerate disloyalty. my past of hurts and lies had made me know I will not lower my boundaries, I know to be more self-protective. my ex was a known liar. I also refuse to be a warden with him ant or anyone else. I would simply choose to end my assocation with a toxic person. I do not want to be anyone's mother. lol this is so true: "He got into that whole rescue mode and you called him on it, talked about, it promised to make it right again and you're moving past it. Now if he does it again, that's a different scenario and that's when you will have to really decide what you want in your life and if he's worth it. " that is the crux of it. my two top criteria for a mate are 1. they be a christian 2. they be open and honest the rest is not as important to me. everyone has faults including me, but we all know which we can turn a blind eye to and which would be fatal to the relationship. for me trust is crucial. thanks. I am sure once the betrayal feeling passes and the feelings of wondering who he is on the phone with, who he talks to when not with me, and who he emails...once that passes...I will be more at peace. [/QUOTE]
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