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Emotionally Bankrupted
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 691811" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Jacquelina2 welcome...we're glad you're here. We get it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is the most exhausting and frustrating thing in the world to have to deal with. Nearly every single one of us on this board went round and round and round with our DCs---regardless of the situation and diagnosis---with this exact scenario. This is the path of mental illness and addiction, inability/unwillingness to do the VERY THINGS that would lead them to a better life. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I finally was literally and figuratively down on my knees coming to an understanding of this. All of my efforts---every single thing I did for years and years---was for NOTHING unless he was willing to help himself. This was my pathway to complete powerlessness. </p><p></p><p>Please know we're here for you through this.</p><p></p><p>And, in terms of other people, I find it helpful to develop a few things to say in situations like these, such as:</p><p></p><p>1. I'm sorry you can't understand what I've been through and how I got to this place.</p><p></p><p>2. You may be right.</p><p></p><p>3. Yes, I'm sure it IS hard for you to understand. You'd have to live it first.</p><p></p><p>Getting to the place where you have rote answers that you can state calmly and quietly...and then let it be, walk away, be done with the conversation. Just repeat them over and over and over again.</p><p></p><p>There is no way on God's green earth that someone else can get this. They think there is no way they could turn out their precious child, no matter what. We're here to tell you that we are past "no matter what". There is a land past that place that all of us have lived in for years and years. That's the land of finally...no more. </p><p></p><p>We are all loving, caring, warm people here. We aren't different from the rest of the world. We have just been through the horror of loving someone so very much and watching them self-destruct for years and years and years. Finally, we have to stop. </p><p></p><p>Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 691811, member: 17542"] Jacquelina2 welcome...we're glad you're here. We get it. This is the most exhausting and frustrating thing in the world to have to deal with. Nearly every single one of us on this board went round and round and round with our DCs---regardless of the situation and diagnosis---with this exact scenario. This is the path of mental illness and addiction, inability/unwillingness to do the VERY THINGS that would lead them to a better life. I finally was literally and figuratively down on my knees coming to an understanding of this. All of my efforts---every single thing I did for years and years---was for NOTHING unless he was willing to help himself. This was my pathway to complete powerlessness. Please know we're here for you through this. And, in terms of other people, I find it helpful to develop a few things to say in situations like these, such as: 1. I'm sorry you can't understand what I've been through and how I got to this place. 2. You may be right. 3. Yes, I'm sure it IS hard for you to understand. You'd have to live it first. Getting to the place where you have rote answers that you can state calmly and quietly...and then let it be, walk away, be done with the conversation. Just repeat them over and over and over again. There is no way on God's green earth that someone else can get this. They think there is no way they could turn out their precious child, no matter what. We're here to tell you that we are past "no matter what". There is a land past that place that all of us have lived in for years and years. That's the land of finally...no more. We are all loving, caring, warm people here. We aren't different from the rest of the world. We have just been through the horror of loving someone so very much and watching them self-destruct for years and years and years. Finally, we have to stop. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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