Attachment disorders are supposed to be considered AFTER everything else has been ruled out. They are a spectrum the way autism is, with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) being the most severe and other versions being milder. Or this is what the research I have done says. Unless things changed a lot in the last two years or so, it is still thought to be that way (or I greatly misunderstood, which could be).
My point is that the tdocs who are thinking attachment disorder need to wait until other things have been ruled out to go down that road. Your assessment of borderline is probably closer to the target. There probably are elements of NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) that are having a bigger impact than the therapy is addressing, simply because NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) can create havoc in almost every aspect of thought and of life. difficult child may have some attachment issues, I personally believe they are very common and something each person has to learn how to handle because it is a rare thing for anyone to perfectly meet the need for closeness of another person, even one they carried inside their body for 40 weeks. Except in the severe cases, we each learn to handle it. Many people adopt animals because animals bond with you at whatever level you set. If you raise the dog to spend the day amusing itself in a crate and to be played with for a bit in the evening and a little longer on the weekend, many animals are fine with that. Cats don't even need the crate mostly. If you raise a dog to expect 2-3 hours of intense 1:1 playing and training every evening, and to be with you while you work every day, the dog grows up to be fine iwth that. Dogs can even get used to the latter situation after having the former situation for several years. It takes time, but not NEARLY the time it takes a child to adjust to a change like that.
My point is that I would not hitch up the attachment wagon as a cause yet. You are too close to the beginning of the journey to helping her find the right diagnosis and the right way to help. I am sure there is some attachment issue, but the cause is more likely to be something like borderline. Even if it isn't, we really do not know a whole lot about effective therapy for attachment disorders and we do have therapies for many of the other components of the problems she likely has.
I think the description that they ask for is awesome. Be honest with them and let them pretty it up. The description will help them have a better grip on the situation for their work with her as well as for the purpose of hiring someone to help her. If you lived near here I would suggest someone I think would be PERFECT, actually I can think of 2 women who would each work well with her. Mostly because I have seen them work with very difficult kids of all ages and they just seem to be able to not only reach the most difficult difficult children, but to actually ENJOY them while they do it. I wish I could clone either of them and send you one. Just a thought, like other teachers, sp ed teachers are only paid for 9 months of work each year. It may be stretched over 12 months, but they do have 3 months of unemployment every year. The ones I know often take jobs like what you are needing for the summer. If there is a teacher she liked and you liked, it may be someone to suggest that the people call.
I am glad you are getting some more help. I have worried about you and your health - difficult children sure do take a toll when you have health issues, don't they?
