As I explained in a previous post my 31 year old estranged daughter has been a heroin addict and opioid addict since age 16. In those years she has been in rehabs and jail and even prison. My granddaughter who is 11 has only had her mother bits and pieces of her life. My sister and my deceased mother and I all took care of my granddaughter while my daughter was off doing her shenanigans. My granddaughters father recently overdosed on heroin after being clean for several years. Unfortunately my granddaughter was at his house when it happened. Over the years, my daughter has done extremely horrible things to me. I have come to realize thru reading and counseling that I am an enabler and a codependent doormat. She has stolen thousands from me by manipulating me or conning me or lying about needing money for fines etc. She has taken my debit card and stole money. She has gotten my bank info and used that for online purchases. She has been given 12 cars valuing about $90,000. She wrecked a few and some I took back and others she traded in because she wanted me to get her a nicer one. She has physically abused me quite a few times. Called me a whore or a fuc**ng bit** . Screams at me constantly. Pressures me to give her money or help her by making it seem like a massive emergency. I have signed for apartments to be left with a judgement because she stiffed them. I will tell you the reason that I realize that I did this is because I was afraid she would do more heroin if she was stressed out and I didn’t provide her all she needs to be happy and set her up for positive future. In reality I was a fool so many times to believe her lies but I always thought we were moving in a good direction. She sold me the dream. The dream of us getting close and doing mother daughter things together. Well I was fooled. Six months ago she was given joint custody of my granddaughter with my sister still keeping part of custody. I stopped buying the lies and refused to give her another car. She did tell me a great story about how we were going to live close to each other and blah blah if I gave her $2400 to get off probation early. Conned again. What confuses me is that she was clean when she did that recent con. Never paid me back ever. But now since she has my granddaughter back and of course is getting social security benefits for her since her dad died she doesn’t need me to con. She is turning my granddaughter against me. Blocked my number from her phone and iPad that of course I bought my granddaughter. My heart is broken. Last night I got to talk to my granddaughter for a short time because my son was on FaceTime with her playing video games. I told her I love her and miss her and hope to see her soon. Talked about school and hockey. My daughter was at work and the boyfriend was asleep so she could talk to me. My question really is, if my daughter is clean from drugs why is she ignoring me and keeping my granddaughter from me after all I have done for her. Her father has been dead since age 15. I have done it all. Way beyond what I should have. I have no addiction history so I don’t understand the current behaviors if she is clean now? Don’t they make amends? Do what’s right? She also has a 5 year old son living 900 miles away with the second baby daddy that she has abandoned and not contacted in any way since May after promising him she was coming back for him. She really was just conning his father to try to get money. Why has her behavior remained toxic while she is clean ? Please help me understand. Thank you