Amaze,
Would you like to know what I think? I agree 1100000 percent with BBK - this letter was NOT an apology - it is only the beginning stages of his cleansing. HIS cleansing NOT yours.
I liken it to the years of beating and torture I endured, - all my own fault I got smacked around. I should have LOVED him more, I should have had MORE patience, I should have listened to GOD and STAYED with him. Aw krap!!!!
This man of yours is beginning to scratch the surface of I'm sorry. Most sociopaths are NOT sorry -ever. They are uncapable of it. They can mouth the words like Ashlee Simpson or Vanilla Ice - but it's never going to be what they feel. They don't feel much, and what little they do feel at this point? Poor me. Poor me, HOW can I make my wife feel sorry for me? I know - she's a religious woman - I'll hit her with the GOD angle, yeah, that will make her feel bad. And it did didn't it?
Did you go get religious counsleing like I suggested from a pastor that deals with divorce and NOT your own pastor?? GO DO THAT NOW......
WRITE that jerk all the letters you want - pound it out on the computer and print it out - and DO NOT SEND HIM A WORD.........
LADY - I've tried to tell you this, and if I need to learn another language to communicate my deepest feelings and knowledge about this matter to you I will gladly take up another for your benefit. BUT SIMPLY PUT -
HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO HEAR THE WORDS THAT YOU WOULD THINK, FEEL, SAY, WRITE.........
YOU ARE ACKNOWLEDGING HIS FEELINGS - and FEELING SORRY FOR HIM.
pretty normal -
DO NOT write him back -FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE TO YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN? HE doesn't deserve the spit on the back of the stamp it would take to send him a letter.
HE IS ONCE AGAIN ABUSING YOU - VIA AN APOLOGY LETTER - WHAT A SLAP IN THE FACE.
If he cared at all about you and the kids for real? The letter would have said NOTHING about HOW YOU COULD IMPROVE AND HOW YOU COULD CHANGE AND HOW YOU COULD ACCEPT - it would have simply said -
Dear Amazing,
For what I have put you and the boys through? I am truly sorry. I understand your reasons for seeking divorce and do not blame you. I have not been much of a husband or a Father. Tell my boys I will always love them, and that our family fell apart because of my behaviors.
I think you're a brave and good mother, I don't blame you for anything. WHen I get on my feet, please know I will send money to support the boys and help payback the financial hardship I have caused. I wish you nothing but the best in life. I am truly sorry.
Signed
(name)
An apology like that is WHAT WE WANT -
An apology like that is NEVER GOING TO COME
An apology like the one you got IS AS GOOD AS YOU ARE EVER GOING TO GET FOR A LONG LONG TIME..........and DOES NOT DESERVE an ANSWER -
and if you MUST write him back - PLEASE - allow me to help you.
- yeah......you know I would - and we could quote scripture and verse about HOW GOD thinks a man is supposed to treat a woman. HECK I'd even buy him a bible, and highlight the parts where HE IS SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE A HUMAN AND A MAN TOWARDS HIS WIFE.......and I'll spring for some of those colored post it flags........
Seriously - save the letter - in a box and mark it Ahole file. Some day your kids like mine may want to see the Sympathy cards that got sent to your parents.......because of what a jerk you were and how you don't deserve to live. (yup got em in the ahole file)
Take the letter to your therapist - work through it - it will help you be a better person and less of a door mat.
WHat you want dear - and what you are going to get from him are never going to be the same - even in an apology-
And your silence will speak VOLUMES to his waiting ears for words from you that if you are smart? Will NEVER come.
YOU DO NOT OWE HIM OR HIS MOMMA A THING!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT THEIR EQUAL.......YOU NEVER WERE -
(REPEAT)
