Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ktllc, Apr 12, 2012.

  1. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I always analyze things, maybe a bit too much soetimes. But I need to understand stuff, otherwise it just bugs me.
    I read quite a bit on Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) lately, and one thing that shoked me: kids on the spectrum seem to not react to emotions the same way. The example that was given: the child will not react when scolded. And that is exactly how V used to be. We (parents, grand-parents, friend, teachers) used to say that V is a rock. When scolded, we would just stare at me and really could care less. In other situation he would get upset when really nobody could see why (with hindsight, probably was the sensory issues). When left at daycare or babysitter, he would not have any emotion the whole time and then breack into tears as soon as I would show up to take him home.
    But all this changed about 1 year ago. Now he does get upset when scolded. But he still is quite "numb" when in school/day care (let's not talk about the recent changes of taking him out of school). Although distressed, he will not say anything and seems fine unless you know what to look for.
    So basically, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) fits in that aspect up until last year. Why would it change all the sudden? Did he just mature? Or maybe talking about emotions (feeling happy, sad, behaving and not behaving, etc...) has taught him to respond to other's emotions? Or maybe something else I don't think about?
  2. Confused

    Confused Guest

    I do not know about this but wanted to lend you my support. It is odd that he handled his emotions one way and has now changes them. I am going to guess your right, he is getting older, he is learning different ways of thinking so, maybe this is contributing too? I have a lot to look up for myself, sorry I couldn't be of any help. Hugs
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    I suppose... part of the answer is that things are never fixed and certain, but endlessly fluid, particularly where children are concerned. You might have been surprised if you had watched that programme on French TV about the intensive stimulation of an autistic child, to see just how much it changed him, how much more became possible for him through it... So, yes, maybe or perhaps even probably, your "working on" emotions with V has had its effect.
    I have the opposite problem... J's emotions, happy or sad or angry or impatient, are SO intense, so visible, so immediately expressed. That's why our house often resembles an Italian opera :)
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Just like everything else in life, emotional responses are not stagnant. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids do learn apropriate and different responses. they also have their own frustration threasholds.

    As an example, haven't you ever dropped something, smiled and picked it up. Then dropped it again and again. Finally yelled out that if you dropped it again you would scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? If someone witnessed the whole process it would make sense, but if someone came upon you on the last drop, they'd say you are overreacting. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is similar in the fact that we don't know their original thought process, but it most definitely can change over time.

    by the way I was going over a social situation with DD1 during the time she was getting diagnosed with Asperger's. She couldn't understand why I thought she was being rude, and I made her "take the other person's place". She very assertively stated that she does NOT respond the same way as everyone else does. At the time I was not aware of how correct she truly was!
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Our kids do continue to grow and mature but at a different and uneven (in the different developmental areas) rates. He likely is little by little being able to puzzle thru what people mean with different inflection and facial expressions etc. He has probably learned more about those he has more practice with like family. But newer people, he goes back to not really knowing what the heck those tones and expressions fully mean.

    Another layer is that our kids have to work so hard on so many things, he may be too busy in that kind of setting keeping it together with all of the other challenges to really process through what another person is feeling.

    I believe, with all my heart, that the reaction is not in any way that they dont care what we think. It is that it doesn't register and/or they can't really figure out how to deal with it. BUT when they DO??? it is intensely felt.

    Kind of like long ago when they felt kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) were not even bonded and didn't care about loving even their mothers. Clearly kids with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are more bonded to their families like any other kid. You can see it in the least verbal, most stereo-typic autistic child. Mom and Dad are the ones they can be comforted by the most.

    Just some thoughts....Lots of things going on but I bet he IS learning it... just will be uneven and depending on the settings will vary.