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Empathic People / Sociopaths / Gaslighting
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664484" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>To me, this one is easy. Fear. The sociopath in a second senses fear. </p><p>Fear is sensed immediately. Vulnerability is too.</p><p>I wonder.</p><p></p><p>Every parent has absolute power over their children who need them to live: for protection, nurturing, education.</p><p></p><p>Very few exploit their children. Even though through their absolute power they could.</p><p></p><p>I will only speak of my parents. My mother's problem as a mother is that she could not spare her own children, the effects of her own personality. I hear of other powerful or cruel parents (like Mafia, for example) who have a work life and a home life. My Mother treated us the same as she treated everybody else (except perhaps her father, but I am not sure. But after all she let him die alone. Even if she did not target him, she did neglect him.)</p><p></p><p>My Mother had a cookie cutter personality. Maybe all of us do.</p><p></p><p>One size fits all. She acted the same way to everybody.</p><p></p><p>When she felt her survival was at stake, she responded rapidly and with cruelty. And she interpreted her survival very, very broadly.</p><p></p><p>She had little interest in self-reflection or accountability (although she did change somewhat towards her children at the end of her life, because she wanted them in her life. For this I give her great credit.)</p><p></p><p>She was quite self-indulgent in her feelings of self-pity and martrydom. While she cared not at all for others' hurt at her own hand, she nursed her own hurts and was willing to use her hurt as a justification to hurt others.</p><p></p><p>I do not think it is absolute power. I think it is the inability or unwillingness of some people to temper their power or use it appropriately. It is a question of personality. Not of power.</p><p></p><p>There is a discussion this morning about narcissism, related to the ascendancy of Donald Trump in the political arena.</p><p></p><p>They are talking about Trump's unwillingness to temper his behavior, because it has worked so well for him in the past. There is the presumption by him that it will always work. Because it has always worked before.</p><p></p><p>They also talk about his lack of pretense. The fact that he does not prepare, or study, or even to give the appearance of somebody who needs to study or know about things of vital interest to a president. This amazes them. It does not surprise me.</p><p></p><p>After all in his mind, he is already President. All that remains is the formality of an election. To him the other people are pretenders. They do not even exist. </p><p></p><p>And anybody who challenges or questions him, should not exist. Like Megyn Kelly. In Trump's mind, for questioning him powerfully, she deserves to be killed off. </p><p></p><p>And he is doing it. No questions asked. Note the blood comments. The blood to which he refers is blood that he is drawing. In his vengeance. There is no question of it.</p><p></p><p>I am the best President, or businessman--this is all it takes. To be it.</p><p></p><p>In his mind, he already is. Like the English, the castle and everybody in it is already in their minds their own. And that is all that matters.</p><p></p><p>In this Cedar, you are correct. There are personalities wherein absolute power is not checked. Wherein guilt or doubt or mercy or love is not allowed into the equation. To temper power.</p><p></p><p>And in that I would agree. And that is what happened in my family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664484, member: 18958"] To me, this one is easy. Fear. The sociopath in a second senses fear. Fear is sensed immediately. Vulnerability is too. I wonder. Every parent has absolute power over their children who need them to live: for protection, nurturing, education. Very few exploit their children. Even though through their absolute power they could. I will only speak of my parents. My mother's problem as a mother is that she could not spare her own children, the effects of her own personality. I hear of other powerful or cruel parents (like Mafia, for example) who have a work life and a home life. My Mother treated us the same as she treated everybody else (except perhaps her father, but I am not sure. But after all she let him die alone. Even if she did not target him, she did neglect him.) My Mother had a cookie cutter personality. Maybe all of us do. One size fits all. She acted the same way to everybody. When she felt her survival was at stake, she responded rapidly and with cruelty. And she interpreted her survival very, very broadly. She had little interest in self-reflection or accountability (although she did change somewhat towards her children at the end of her life, because she wanted them in her life. For this I give her great credit.) She was quite self-indulgent in her feelings of self-pity and martrydom. While she cared not at all for others' hurt at her own hand, she nursed her own hurts and was willing to use her hurt as a justification to hurt others. I do not think it is absolute power. I think it is the inability or unwillingness of some people to temper their power or use it appropriately. It is a question of personality. Not of power. There is a discussion this morning about narcissism, related to the ascendancy of Donald Trump in the political arena. They are talking about Trump's unwillingness to temper his behavior, because it has worked so well for him in the past. There is the presumption by him that it will always work. Because it has always worked before. They also talk about his lack of pretense. The fact that he does not prepare, or study, or even to give the appearance of somebody who needs to study or know about things of vital interest to a president. This amazes them. It does not surprise me. After all in his mind, he is already President. All that remains is the formality of an election. To him the other people are pretenders. They do not even exist. And anybody who challenges or questions him, should not exist. Like Megyn Kelly. In Trump's mind, for questioning him powerfully, she deserves to be killed off. And he is doing it. No questions asked. Note the blood comments. The blood to which he refers is blood that he is drawing. In his vengeance. There is no question of it. I am the best President, or businessman--this is all it takes. To be it. In his mind, he already is. Like the English, the castle and everybody in it is already in their minds their own. And that is all that matters. In this Cedar, you are correct. There are personalities wherein absolute power is not checked. Wherein guilt or doubt or mercy or love is not allowed into the equation. To temper power. And in that I would agree. And that is what happened in my family. [/QUOTE]
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