Enabling Grandma is doing such a fine job...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Mom2oddson, Feb 2, 2010.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    difficult child-S is so happy. Several friends have commented on just how happy S is.

    Do to the new computer system our insurance put in, you can't pay for co-pays or medications. They have to send you the bill. So, imagine my surprise when I got difficult child-S's bill for the last three months and the only thing on it was a co-pay for removing a mole. No BiPolar medications, no visits with either of her psychiatrists, no out patient drug classes, no nothing.

    Awww....Grandma is doing such a good job helping difficult child-S out! No medications, no doctors, no chores, no rules, no consequences. Boy, wish I thought of that... I would have been mother of the year too!

    But, I am an evil Mom who doesn't want her kids to be happy.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    in my humble opinion, you can't win this one. Grandma is doing what she thinks is right, and she will always blame you for whatever has or will go wrong. All you can do is stand back and let it happen. You and difficult child both know what the truth is. You're the ones who matter. Grandma has her own agenda, and it's not yours or difficult child's. It's hers.
  3. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    EG has quite the agenda. Think somewhere in that plan she's hoping for an end to husband and me. Hasn't worked for 13 years, but she keeps trying.

    I'm about 95% detached. Right now, I'm enjoying the power of having all the co-pay bills being sent to me. This way, when EG tells husband about all the wonderful help she's getting difficult child-S, we can sit back and laugh at the story. We still have people laughing over EG's declaration of how well difficult child-S is doing in school....she has a 4.1 gpa.

    Let them play there games. husband is on the other coast away from all of them. And neither EG or difficult child-S will have anything to do with me. There is a lot of peace with that. And when difficult child-s goes off the deep end because she's using illegal drugs instead of taking her BiPolar medications, she's not getting any counseling for the Bipolar (maybe personality disorder) or the drug addition....It won't be my problem.
  4. Bean

    Bean Member

    Been there. My parents tried their best, but really just ended up enabling my daughter. I guess the one thing I've learned through watching that is that my daughter's behavior is not attached or dependent on my rules, our house, or our relationship. She'll lie, steal, cheat and use regardless of having enablers or strict parents.

  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Wow! A 4.1 Eh? That's quite an accomplishment. LOL!!