Just a story...It may help...or not...but food for fodder.
At the age of 2 Matt could do the most complex puzzles, ones that I even had a hard time doing as fast as he did. He also knew all of his letters by sight, and had memorized all of his books that I read him. He would read out loud with me all of his books - verbatim. (Gosh I miss those times.)
Then the mental issues started to manifest, or perhaps it was a form of Autism, but his brilliance retreated, and reading suddenly became difficult. He still mastered reading at the age of 4-5, but it was odd how easy it had come for him when he was little, and then suddenly it was quite difficult.
He has always read on grade level, but, again, it was odd how advanced he was, and then it all became a confluence of chaos. He was diagnosis was dyscalculia, dysgraphia, and dyslexia around the first or second grade. His handwriting was, and still is, like a child. He pretty much stopped any interest in reading, and he only did the bare minimums to get through until now.
Regardless we always read books every night together, and told stories, and did creative writing together. In 4th grade when the S.A.T tests in America mandate a child write and read at a certain level - the school had intensive writing every day. He excelled that year, more than any other school year. He came up with the most outrageous, hilarious stories -- and his teacher loved him. (A first.) His creative mind was allowed to flow despite grammar and handwriting.
After all of that -- school became secondary to his mental issues. His teachers told me point blank, he is smart, he will get it, what we need now is for his behavior to be under control. Ummm....well....it never happened. They would have been better off doing what his 4th grade teacher did - focus on his academic talents.
At the age of 20 he was still in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and had only a mish mash of schooling. Mostly because of his refusal. Yet he still passed the HS test. To verbally communicate with him now you would think you were communicating with a College Grad, or at least a College Undergrad. On paper, his handwriting gives him away. Yet when he types an email or a thought, he is right on track of where most are at his age.
So -- all of that to say -- life with these kids is such a cr@pshoot. You just never know what avenue they will seek, explore, or cultivate. And regardless of any per-conceived ideas that a teacher or we have about them - and despite any interventions we may insist on - I believe they will excel exactly as they are supposed to and want to - and the best factor in their success is 'US'. I was always reading, writing, & talking to Matt in perfect English - and I would correct him if he was not also talking or writing that way. I was the impetus for his own personal standard. And that is not to brag (AT ALL) - it is just that I now realize how important *I* was in his life. School was secondary to his family and me. He learned what he learned from me, and few others.
So all of that rambling to say, J will get it -- no matter what.
HUGS.
