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Enemy of the State
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 640469" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Meghan, welcome. I'm sorry you're experiencing these issues. I agree with what the others have said. We are powerless to change another's point of view. It is sad that your husband has done what he has done. You are a victim of abuse. It certainly appears as if you are in a lose/lose with your daughter.</p><p></p><p>You might attempt to tell your daughter that what she believes about who you are is NOT who you are and since you cannot make any kind of difference in what she perceives, you find it too painful to continue the way things are. And, then set whatever boundaries feel appropriate to you. Take care of yourself. </p><p></p><p>When you are dealing with someone who insists on their reality over yours, after awhile it becomes a futile "game" where all you are doing is defending yourself against false accusations. </p><p></p><p>Have you considered perhaps having a third party, a therapist, counselor, a minister, someone who is impartial who could mediate between your daughters and you? Maybe that would provide some boundaries between the 3 of you which might support a different point of view and offer ways in which you all might reach a more truthful bridge to connect on.</p><p></p><p>You might enjoy reading the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here, it may be helpful for you.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to move on, but sometimes others don't see us for who we really are and all we can do is let go and learn to accept what is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 640469, member: 13542"] Meghan, welcome. I'm sorry you're experiencing these issues. I agree with what the others have said. We are powerless to change another's point of view. It is sad that your husband has done what he has done. You are a victim of abuse. It certainly appears as if you are in a lose/lose with your daughter. You might attempt to tell your daughter that what she believes about who you are is NOT who you are and since you cannot make any kind of difference in what she perceives, you find it too painful to continue the way things are. And, then set whatever boundaries feel appropriate to you. Take care of yourself. When you are dealing with someone who insists on their reality over yours, after awhile it becomes a futile "game" where all you are doing is defending yourself against false accusations. Have you considered perhaps having a third party, a therapist, counselor, a minister, someone who is impartial who could mediate between your daughters and you? Maybe that would provide some boundaries between the 3 of you which might support a different point of view and offer ways in which you all might reach a more truthful bridge to connect on. You might enjoy reading the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here, it may be helpful for you. It's hard to move on, but sometimes others don't see us for who we really are and all we can do is let go and learn to accept what is. [/QUOTE]
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