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Enemy of the State
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640491" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I don't think it is helpful to teach people lessons that way. It hurts everyone. I've been on the receiving end of that. There is no point in "I won't talk to you until you think the way I want. You will rue the day..." That will only close the door and lead them to think that their father is right (well, more than they already do). It is hard for others to see their abuse or their behavior the way we see it.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion I think it's better just to move on while engaging in therapy so we have a go-to person for help in the situation. You don't have to go no contact, although you can, but you don't have to be that blatant about it. I like the Nike commercial "Just Do It." Yes, I love my little sayings <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Just because others hurt you, I don't feel it is useful to deliberately try to hurt them back for any reason. I don't think that helps us move on and it makes it hard for the other person to ever say "I'm sorry" if the person is so inclined. Don't validate the gaslighting by being the person ex told them you are, so to speak.</p><p></p><p>RE, I think you nailed it again. There is nothing anyone can do about it. Just move on with therapy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640491, member: 1550"] I don't think it is helpful to teach people lessons that way. It hurts everyone. I've been on the receiving end of that. There is no point in "I won't talk to you until you think the way I want. You will rue the day..." That will only close the door and lead them to think that their father is right (well, more than they already do). It is hard for others to see their abuse or their behavior the way we see it. in my opinion I think it's better just to move on while engaging in therapy so we have a go-to person for help in the situation. You don't have to go no contact, although you can, but you don't have to be that blatant about it. I like the Nike commercial "Just Do It." Yes, I love my little sayings ;) Just because others hurt you, I don't feel it is useful to deliberately try to hurt them back for any reason. I don't think that helps us move on and it makes it hard for the other person to ever say "I'm sorry" if the person is so inclined. Don't validate the gaslighting by being the person ex told them you are, so to speak. RE, I think you nailed it again. There is nothing anyone can do about it. Just move on with therapy. [/QUOTE]
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