Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 643465" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I think you are on to the fact that he may very well have Narcissistic Personality disorder or maybe, if not a full blown Narcissist, maybe a mental disorder with narcissistic tendencies. In the end, with him at the age he is, and with you having dealt with it for so long it doesn't matter. I refer to it as: if it walks like a duck, and quacks like one it is likely one. Meaning, because of is age, it really doesn't matter if you actually get a formal diagnosis, you know that his behavior is like a narcissist and that behavior is not acceptable to you. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I have been in your shoes where I couldn't take the meanness anymore either. It is perfectly OK to go low contact = LC (something I learned here, meaning you will talk or meet with him when he is being respectful) or No Contact = NC if you feel he is not able to change enough for you to feel safe when dealing with him. I have had periods of both and am currently in NC because I am sick and disabled and I am not up for the mind games that my difficult child daughter plays. It is exhausting to deal with someone who always has an agenda, wrapped in manipulation and control, I am sick and when I would answer the phone, she would ask me how I felt and when I would say "bad night" she would say that's too bad and then go on and on, me, me, me, blah, blah, blah - and I could see where she was leading me so I was constantly playing the game of "I don't now where you are taking me" and well with being sick, dealing with this every single day, gets exhausting. </p><p>I can see why you need a break. If you need a long break just go NC for a while and then when you are ready maybe move back to LC. There is nothing wrong with you as a parent from needing a break from a mentally ill or personality disordered person. It is only natural that a person can only take so much stress before they need a breather.</p><p>Another thing to consider, which I never did until recently was the DNA factor. Maybe you did nothing wrong in raising him but in his DNA there are mental disorders or personality traits that make him this way. Look around the family tree and see if his behavior reminds you of anyone in the family. When I was asked that question, I immediately knew that my daughter acted exactly as my maternal grandmother did. Also there are other of my family members with personality disorder traits so well, yeah, this can be inherited and you just may be fighting a losing battle when fighting the DNA.</p><p>Ironically, I am the only one who has been in therapy and go in some stages of my life and not in others. The results, all the crazy ones call me crazy because I go. Yeah, I go to stay mentally healthy, but they have no problems, rich I say, real rich. LOL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 643465, member: 18366"] I think you are on to the fact that he may very well have Narcissistic Personality disorder or maybe, if not a full blown Narcissist, maybe a mental disorder with narcissistic tendencies. In the end, with him at the age he is, and with you having dealt with it for so long it doesn't matter. I refer to it as: if it walks like a duck, and quacks like one it is likely one. Meaning, because of is age, it really doesn't matter if you actually get a formal diagnosis, you know that his behavior is like a narcissist and that behavior is not acceptable to you. I have been in your shoes where I couldn't take the meanness anymore either. It is perfectly OK to go low contact = LC (something I learned here, meaning you will talk or meet with him when he is being respectful) or No Contact = NC if you feel he is not able to change enough for you to feel safe when dealing with him. I have had periods of both and am currently in NC because I am sick and disabled and I am not up for the mind games that my difficult child daughter plays. It is exhausting to deal with someone who always has an agenda, wrapped in manipulation and control, I am sick and when I would answer the phone, she would ask me how I felt and when I would say "bad night" she would say that's too bad and then go on and on, me, me, me, blah, blah, blah - and I could see where she was leading me so I was constantly playing the game of "I don't now where you are taking me" and well with being sick, dealing with this every single day, gets exhausting. I can see why you need a break. If you need a long break just go NC for a while and then when you are ready maybe move back to LC. There is nothing wrong with you as a parent from needing a break from a mentally ill or personality disordered person. It is only natural that a person can only take so much stress before they need a breather. Another thing to consider, which I never did until recently was the DNA factor. Maybe you did nothing wrong in raising him but in his DNA there are mental disorders or personality traits that make him this way. Look around the family tree and see if his behavior reminds you of anyone in the family. When I was asked that question, I immediately knew that my daughter acted exactly as my maternal grandmother did. Also there are other of my family members with personality disorder traits so well, yeah, this can be inherited and you just may be fighting a losing battle when fighting the DNA. Ironically, I am the only one who has been in therapy and go in some stages of my life and not in others. The results, all the crazy ones call me crazy because I go. Yeah, I go to stay mentally healthy, but they have no problems, rich I say, real rich. LOL [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
Top