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Parent Emeritus
Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 643504" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you are going through the chaos and drama that your difficult child is creating. I'm glad you found this forum. You will find so much good advice on these pages.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child was just awful to deal with, lying, stealing, verbal abuse, ransacking my home, destruction of my home (holes in walls, doors, took a butcher knife to my kitchen counters), in and out of jail many times, etc.... He has blamed me and husband for how screwed up his life is. He never takes responsibility for any of his actions, it's always someone else's fault.</p><p></p><p>I was told once that my difficult child was probably bi-polar but after several diagnosis from different doctors and therapists they all came up with the same thing, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I remember at the time thinking "ok, great now we know what it is and we can fix it" Oh how naïve I was to think that. My husband and I did everything, above and beyond what we should have and in the end my difficult child will be 34 in a few weeks and is homeless.</p><p></p><p>From the title of your post it's obvious you have had enough. That's the beginning of detaching but it's not an easy process. When I had finally had enough and started to detach I experienced so much guilt. I really wish I would have had this forum at the time as I now know most of the guilt I felt was a result of my difficult child manipulating me. Be careful to not fall into the "guilt trap".</p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>It is good that you recognize these traits for what they are as it will help you to stay strong. Remember to take care of yourself, it's easy to allow the chaos to consume us.</p><p></p><p>Sending you ((HUGS))</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 643504, member: 18516"] Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you are going through the chaos and drama that your difficult child is creating. I'm glad you found this forum. You will find so much good advice on these pages. My difficult child was just awful to deal with, lying, stealing, verbal abuse, ransacking my home, destruction of my home (holes in walls, doors, took a butcher knife to my kitchen counters), in and out of jail many times, etc.... He has blamed me and husband for how screwed up his life is. He never takes responsibility for any of his actions, it's always someone else's fault. I was told once that my difficult child was probably bi-polar but after several diagnosis from different doctors and therapists they all came up with the same thing, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I remember at the time thinking "ok, great now we know what it is and we can fix it" Oh how naïve I was to think that. My husband and I did everything, above and beyond what we should have and in the end my difficult child will be 34 in a few weeks and is homeless. From the title of your post it's obvious you have had enough. That's the beginning of detaching but it's not an easy process. When I had finally had enough and started to detach I experienced so much guilt. I really wish I would have had this forum at the time as I now know most of the guilt I felt was a result of my difficult child manipulating me. Be careful to not fall into the "guilt trap". It is good that you recognize these traits for what they are as it will help you to stay strong. Remember to take care of yourself, it's easy to allow the chaos to consume us. Sending you ((HUGS)) :notalone: [/QUOTE]
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Enough pain, lies and hurt - the boy needs to go.
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