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Parent Emeritus
Entitlement and superiority in typical siblings of troubled kids
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<blockquote data-quote="Origami" data-source="post: 644716" data-attributes="member: 18099"><p>SuZir, I can totally relate to this issue. I have three PCs and two difficult children, and get grief from them about how we've supposedly favored one or the other. Some of this is probably normal sibling rivalry, and I do understand the resentment mine feel because we've spent so much time, energy, and money on the difficult children (especially the younger one). Then the younger difficult child will complain that I gave his sister this or that, while I deny him what he wants (usually something he doesn't need, like cigarettes).</p><p></p><p></p><p>I was actually thinking about the parable of the prodigal son the other day in reference to something one of my sons said about difficult child. I think, as parents, it's near impossible to divide our attentions, money, etc. equally, and we try to give assistance when and where it's needed. Of course, someone is always going to get more or less, and they may or may not understand. It's not fair to the "good kid" when the "bad kid" seems to get more, and I haven't quite figured out how to properly explain this to the one who is feeling slighted. The last time I was confronted by easy child (daughter) about the unfairness with her brother, I just nodded and said, "Yes, you're right. It's pretty unfair. But I think you have everything you need, and we're doing the best we can."</p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a good way to think about it. I like this idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Origami, post: 644716, member: 18099"] SuZir, I can totally relate to this issue. I have three PCs and two difficult children, and get grief from them about how we've supposedly favored one or the other. Some of this is probably normal sibling rivalry, and I do understand the resentment mine feel because we've spent so much time, energy, and money on the difficult children (especially the younger one). Then the younger difficult child will complain that I gave his sister this or that, while I deny him what he wants (usually something he doesn't need, like cigarettes). I was actually thinking about the parable of the prodigal son the other day in reference to something one of my sons said about difficult child. I think, as parents, it's near impossible to divide our attentions, money, etc. equally, and we try to give assistance when and where it's needed. Of course, someone is always going to get more or less, and they may or may not understand. It's not fair to the "good kid" when the "bad kid" seems to get more, and I haven't quite figured out how to properly explain this to the one who is feeling slighted. The last time I was confronted by easy child (daughter) about the unfairness with her brother, I just nodded and said, "Yes, you're right. It's pretty unfair. But I think you have everything you need, and we're doing the best we can." This is a good way to think about it. I like this idea. [/QUOTE]
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Entitlement and superiority in typical siblings of troubled kids
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