Entitlement

[JJJ]

Kanga's sense of entitlement knows no bounds. I asked staff to confirm that her winter outerwear still fit and that she hadn't lost it/given it away/thrown it out/ruined it since it gets too cold around here to make her suffer.

Staff replies that her coats are fine and still fit but that she needs new boots and gloves. Kanga also 'requested' 10 other items of clothing and new towels.

Gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

When she moved in the spring, she had so much stuff that they almost couldn't fit it all in the mini-van, even with two of the seats removed. I helped her unpack and she had so many clothes that they didn't all fit in her dresser! Does she eat her clothes????

I am most LIVID about the towels because my grandparents bought her a gorgeous set of 6 high-end towels plus washclothes and hand towels for Christmas last year. I know they were great quality because I was with when they were bought and it was an amazing sale. I was all excited that my grandma got me towels so I could replace my 15-year old towels from my wedding! How does Kanga ruin them in one year????

So, Kanga hasn't spoken to us on the phone (outside of family therapy which ended early due to her screaming!) in almost 7 weeks but she's feels perfectly fine asking for stuff.

 

[AnnieO]

Now how familiar is THAT to me?!



I understand... I had 3 sets of nice towels... and 2 or 3 not-so-nice ones... And all the "sets" lost pieces or got nasty spots or got raggedy, in 6 months! I'd had them for... 11 years, then Onyxx got hold of them. I had even bought her her own set! It, of course, is all there.

 

[JJJ]

I'll be heading to the resale shop for the jeans and shirts she wants. And Target for undies and bras. I actually kept her 'old' boots that she 'didn't want anymore'. They are still in good shape.

I'm sure it is feeding into her sense of entitlement that she'll get most of what she asked for BUT I'm sure she'll be ticked that it is mostly second hand. But if she can't take better care of her things, she doesn't need new ones and if she can't treat us with respect, than I don't need to spend our hard-earned money on her.

 

[AnnieO]

I love resale. Goodwill especially.

You can get undies and bras, still in the package, at the Dollar store, too...

 

[Methuselah]

Ugh, JJJ. I have an entitlement conversation/lecture with my difficult child 1 regularly. I always ask her why I should go out of my way do do anything kind for her when she deliberately goes out of her way to treat our family horribly, especially me? She just stares. If I push for an answer, she will say "because you are nice". I tell her: yep, I am, but I am not a doormat. Doesn't make a difference. :-/

What did happen to the towels? Did she lose them? Did they get holes? Does she think the color of the towels clashes with her eyes?

 

[Bunny]

I've had the same lecture with my difficult child, but for some reason it just does not seem to sink in that I'm not going to go out of my way for him when he thinks that I'm his punching bag.

 

[susiestar]

They sure have nerve. It is astounding many times.

 

[DammitJanet]

Im all there with you on entitlement but I have a really big question for you. How on earth do you guys get towels to last that long? I must be doing something wrong or buying the wrong kind of towels because mine are toast in less than a year.

 

[ready2run]

i have most of the same towels i've had since i moved out when i was 16. i am 30 now, i have added 2 new sets since then. i don't know how they lasted that long. because they were expensive maybe? i like my older ones better. they were about $60 each full price, i think we paid $10 each on clearance sale. my two new sets were $4 each, regular $16. they look pretty, but don't dry me as well. i don't use bleach or anything, just wash them in hot, hot water. so far my difficult child has not wrecked any towels, but then again he is only 6 and has an aversion to water.

 

[HaoZi]

I like buying beach towels when they go on clearance. Big, fluffy, soft beach towels. Mine have lasted for years, too. I'm pretty sure the washer here only does cold water (that I've ever noticed, even when I tell it hot), and I dry them on perm press. Never put them in the hamper wet, and we always let them hang dry after a shower to use them again, so we get a few uses before they're washed again.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Im all there with you on entitlement but I have a really big question for you. How on earth do you guys get towels to last that long? I must be doing something wrong or buying the wrong kind of towels because mine are toast in less than a year.

Well, Janet... your first problem is that if you put towels in the toaster, of course they will be toast - and so will the toaster.

No, really... Major problem is too many MEN in the house (and none of them proper Euro-gentlemen who are as neat as a pin...)
Towels must remain DRY as much as possible. NEVER in a hamper except to carry to/from laundry! Hang NEATLY to dry after using... even IF you feel they must be washed each time. Easier on the towel, though, to be able to re-use and only wash when dirty. Low heat on the dryer.

The other tough thing with (some) MEN is that they don't let the towel "absorb" the water... they often grab both ends of the towel and stretch it as the vigorously pull it across their back - or head... and that tension on a wet towel, is really hard on it.
(No, its not a genderized statement... I'm just not aware of very many women who can put that kind of pressure on a towel... we don't have the weight or we don't have the muscle... they often have both)

 

[Hound dog]

I'm too familiar with that sense of entitlement. blah

I'd get her dollar store bras and undies ect too. lol Better on your wallet.

As for the towels........mine have lasted ages as far as physical condition. How they tend to come up completely missing is beyond me. Except when husband wouldn't listen about towels on the floor and Bruce would use the towel instead of the litter box........then I made them disappear ewww right into the trash. A couple of towels and husband got the idea. I'm down to maybe 7 total.

 

[HaoZi]

I'm just not aware of very many women who can put that kind of pressure on a towel... we don't have the weight or we don't have the muscle...

Or that we know patting dry is better for our skin than rubbing dry, which most guys either don't know or don't care.

 

[DammitJanet]

Well maybe I know what the problem is. I never have received any good towels for any reason. A $60 set of towels is something I cannot even imagine now. I normally buy towels at Walmart or Kmart when they go on sale for $3 a piece. I thought I hit the jackpot when our local Wespoint Pepperell outlet store reopened and we can get their seconds again and I got some of the Rachel Ray brand for $5 in bright lime green...lol.

 

[AnnieO]

Honestly, two of the three sets of towels that Onyxx beat to death/made vanish were a wedding gift. From my first marriage. Got 'em in 1998. She got hold of them 11 years later and...

I got new ones for a gift in 2005 - that was set 3. In 2009 I bought husband and I some new ones, and they're looking/working great! The ones I use for my hair were the cheapie body towels I bought when I moved out of my parents'... In 1994.

This is what I do though... I only use them after a shower, which means they are clean, if damp. I hang them up. Depending on the season/humidity level, I wash them once every 1-2 weeks and rotate sets (husband and I have 2 full sets). Hot water. Technically you're not supposed to use fabric softener, so I use an already-used sheet. Soft, but still absorbent...

 

[DammitJanet]

Ok, if I had towels from the 90s I would be amazed. Mine definitely arent from then...lol. We use bleach and everything on them. I guess we are just harder on towels than most folks.

 

[busywend]

Well, you all just found the only positive thing to come from a difficult child that refuses to Shower.....my towels lasted me longer! WAHOO!! Even after all these years later...it feels good to know there was a benefit to it!

 

[busywend]

Janet, do not use bleach just hot water. Plus - honestly in the long run more expensive towels will cost you less as you will not need to replace as often. And....they feel nicer.

 

[AnnieO]

Hmm... I always end up with colored towels, except for the bar mops I use to cover bread.

I don't bleach. Bleach weakens cotton fibers...

 

[Chaosuncontained]

Don't go buy her new towels. Go buy YOURSELF some new towels--and give her your old ones.

I have a ton of towels (have to with 7 kids here)--some are faded, a few have holes in them--but they will dry your wet butt! LOL Usually my Mom buys me a set or two for Christmas. Kids don't get to use those.