I haven't posted on this site for a really long time, because I found I was getting too down, reading all the other sad stories of parents. It was validating to know I wasn't alone but also very sad. I have chronic depression and anxiety, so I have to be mindful of what I expose myself to. I'm writing now to say nothing has changed...still no contact and it's going on a year. What has changed is that my husband has sunk into a pit of grief so deep I'm afraid he's never going to come out of it. He was seeing a therapist for awhile but stopped that, although he is still on depression medications. We used to be able to talk about our son and granddaughter, but now he has told me he doesn't want to even hear her name. I understand the feeling; I have told my family and friends not to bring up my son or granddaughter, that if I am able and want to talk about them, I will open the subject. But at least I had my husband. Now, I feel as though we don't even have each other. My husband has numerous physical problems (diabetes, coronary artery disease, to name a couple), and the stress of this grief has made everything worse. I feel as though he and I are just existing, waiting to die. Every now and then, I will find a new interest that distracts me and promises a little happiness, but he takes no interest in what I'm doing. On top of everything else, we have not had an intimate life for years, due to medical problems. Although I am middle-aged, I'm finding that I miss the intimacy. We love each other, even need each other, but life together after losing our son and our precious granddaughter has turned into one long waiting game. Sometimes, I contemplate just giving up. I'd appreciate hearing from anyone (male or female) who has gone through something similar and knowing how you handled it.