First, I am so thankful to find this site. My husband and I felt alone the entire time we raised our GMG (from age 10 to move-out at 18, plus several "bounce backs"). State system never mentioned the words "attachment disorder," for which our GMG was a prime candidate and, indeed, from which he continues to suffer to this day. We've done it all (or it feels that way). Dealt with hysterical tantrums, lying, refusal to accept responsibility for ANYTHING, escalating behavior from bad to illegal...the list goes on and on. Today, after one failed marriage, he lives with a young woman and has a daughter. Before her birth, he reconciled a long estrangement with us, seemed appreciative of our acceptance of the young woman and coming baby, despite lack of marriage. Both of them assured us we would play an integral role in the baby's life. We were there for the birth, and it was the most wonderful experience. After my years of infertility, seeing and holding that hours-old little life was heavenly. All she ever had to do to make me happy was to breathe. To cut to the chase, once everyone was home from the hospital, difficult child and Baby Mama twice cut off all contact, with no explanation. We are in the middle of the second estrangement, going on 7 months. No explanation from him or her, after fairly regular visits, tons of money spent to help (the least of my concerns), and full knowledge of our deep love for baby. Baby Mama recently made contact with husband and asked him over...difficult child was "leaving them." This has happened before; he always comes back. difficult child served in military and has PTSD and is supposed to be on helpful medications, but won't stay on them. This is usually when he leaves or has really bad temper tantrums. Has not physically hurt the baby but has been known to hurt Baby Mama. She will not leave him...has no role model for self-esteem in a woman, would rather take difficult child on any terms. I'm so afraid for what may happen to her one day, but even more afraid for baby when she's a little older. We contacted the police during one really frightening episode, but by the time the cops arrived, difficult child had calmed down, cleaned up apartment, and told cops WE were keeping their baby from them. Actually, difficult child had brought baby to us to care for, while he had it out with Baby Mama. I told police everything, but they said they didn't see evidence of a problem and so took her away from me and back into difficult child's household. That was the last time I saw her. My question: Has anybody else experienced anything like this? How did you handle it? Any opinions about pursuing grandparents' rights through the courts? We are grieving this whole situation the same as if our difficult child and baby had died...honestly, that might have been easier, because then we would at least know that all were out of danger. Horrible to say, even more horrible to feel. We love our difficult child, our beloved granddaughter, and probably could love Baby Mama if we could ever really get to know her. Sorry this post is all over the place. I'm just a hot mess right now. husband and I are arguing about it, something we rarely do. We've been married almost 23 years and have weathered so much, I hate for us to start attacking each other now. I'd really appreciate any insight, or heck, even just some sympathy at this point! Don't know where to turn (am already in therapy).