Etiquette question (need quick answers!)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    So I am going to see my dad tomorrow night for dinner. He lives in Arizona and he is in town just for a few days. I am not at all close with him. He was pretty abusive to all of us growing up, which made me afraid of him and I never bonded with him during childhood. Now that I'm older I forgive him for the abuse, but we are still not close. I talk to him maybe once a year, and when I do it's always brief and awkward. He forgets my birthday every year, although he seems to remember my brother's for some reason. They aren't very close either, so I don't know why he blows off my birthday and not my brother. I stopped caring many years ago. No biggie. Well now he's in town and wants to see my kids. I really hate having stuff to do after work, even if it's a dinner with my own father, but he is leaving early Friday morning so I have no choice but to meet him tomorrow. My question is, would it be appropriate to ask him if my boyfriend can come with us? He met my boyfriend once before. My boyfriend's parents also live in Arizona, about a half hour away from my dad, and we all met last year for dinner. My dad came over to his parents' house and we all seemed to get along and had a great time. I don't know if asking my boyfriend to dinner tomorrow would be inappropriate. My dad is paying for dinner, and I think it would be wrong of me to expect him to pay for him too. But my boyfriend is going to wonder why I didn't invite him. So should I ask my dad to invite him or just keep dinner plans between him, the kids and I? My dad is calling me later today to confirm plans and to set a meeting place.
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I think I would tell your dad the boyfriend is coming but say that you or boyfriend will be paying for his meal.
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I can't afford to pay for his meal and he is totally broke till he gets paid next. I think I will just leave him out of it this time.
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You could certainly ask your father if he wouldn't mind if your boyfriend would be invited to dinner. I don't think your father would refuse or even feel awkward if you ask nicely, particularly since he's previously been introduced to and socialized with your boyfriend.
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well my dad was supposed to call me last night with a meeting place and he never did. He still may call me today while I'm at work, I don't know. If we do go, it is going to be a quick dinner so I can get home and take my night time medications by 6:45. I am going to just take the kids and leave my boyfriend at home this time.
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Hope it goes well.
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I just talked to my dad. We are going to meet at Applebees, which is one of my favorite restaurants. We can only stay about an hour and a half so I can get home in time for my nightly medications. Thankfully I have a good excuse not to stay too long. Conversations between my dad and I don't happen very easily.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed that easy child will be able to "chit chat" the time away. Fingers crossed. DDD
  9. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    It went rather well. My dad is more on the reserved side like me, but my stepmom is more outgoing so she did a lot of the talking. They both work at a school like I do. She is a teacher and he is a teacher's aide, so we had something in common to talk about there. We got home right at seven, which is the latest I can take my night time medications during the work week, so that worked out well. During dinner my mom was blowing up my phone with texts, even knowing I was having dinner with my dad. My dad asked me how many times a day she texts me. I told him about 20. His jaw dropped open. I told him, "Dad that is no exaggeration. It is at least that much every single day." My kids vouched for me. He asked me what on earth she could possibly be talking about every day to text me that much. My daughter chimed in and said, "She texts a million times a day to make sure mom is making me and my brother get our stuff done every day." I added in that my mom basically thinks I'm incompetent and can't run my own life. My dad couldn't believe it. He honestly doesn't even know the half of it. Anyway, it was a brief dinner but it went well.