Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Feb 20, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Had dinner tonight with cafe owner. Briefly touched on the latest with Wee, and husband said he doesn't see why the alternative school in the next district won't take Wee, because he recalls being in school here and a girl with CP was bussed to the next district to attend one of the school's there.

    For whatever reason, I have been entirely dense and it was a light bulb moment.

    The alternative school only takes kids refered to them by the district in which they are located. Wee could be sent to that district, and from there, sent to the alternative school.

    We've just been asking the question the wrong way!!! It IS possible!!!!
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Gotta love those light bulb moments! Go get 'em!
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Part of my problem with demanding the school do more for Wee was not knowing, myself, what is out there, or what he needs that truly will help him.

    Here's this alternative school, 20 miles away, and may as well have been a thousand...

    And they dang sure aren't advertising how to get into this place...

    Now I know what to push for...
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I tend to think they never do...nor does any other public agency, in my humble opinion.
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    It a bit like difficult child 3's correspondence school - it's a state-based alternative and absolutely brilliant. But they are not allowed to let people know they exist. And in difficult child 3's case, I happened to know about it but the district office were determined that difficult child 3 would not be permitted to go, they kept blocking the applications. For years.

    What finally got us through, was I made it clear that if difficult child 3 was not permitted to transfer there, I would be an even bigger pain in the rear for them because I was about to make a HUGE noise in the antidiscrimination front.

    Where possible, schools will try to muddle through and slide by. They won't put themselves out any further than they have to. So you have to make inaction less desirable, by making it clear tat inaction will cause them MORE work.

    So you nitpick. You complain. In writing, and require a response in writing. You request meetings. You go to the nth degree of your legal entitlement in terms of action required form the school. Keep sending them letters and asking for the writen response. If you get a phone call instead of a written response, make it clear that you want their response to be followed up in writing. I always take notes of these sort of phone calls anyway and there have been many times when, in the absence of their written response which I requested, I have sent them my copy of the notes I made during the call and said, "THis is my record of your response to my previous letter. If you do not agree that I have written it down correctly, you will need to send me a correction in writing by X date. failure to do this will be taken as acceptance of these notes as a true and correct record."

    There is no excuse (or room) for complacency.

  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    They are also looking at a $350,000 shortfall in the budget as it stands right now. And there likely will be more cuts.

    It would be in their best interest to figure out how to de-escalate this kiddo in their own district...

    On an ironic side-note, I went to a bar tonight with easy child 1 and some of his friends (they asked me to join them for a while). OK Para and Pretty Boy, from last year, were there, hanging and grinding and carrying on... Pretty Boy actually spoke to me. Completely irrelevant, just ironic.
  7. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    But cheapest of all is letting the parents handle it or get frustrated and move away. Which is exactly what some cash-strapped or non-sped friendly districts do when they know parents won't follow through in demanding they uphold the law.

    You seriously need to close a blind eye to the district's financial situation right now and let Wee's needs and IEP goals drive the placement instead. Think of what it's going to cost YOU if he de-escalates further(private school, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), moving, etc) as your motivation instead.

    The majority of school districts are in big trouble financially (ours is looking to cut 10 million out of next year's budget). It's not an excuse to not follow federal law in regards to educating their student populations.
  8. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    great to hear shari--its wonderful when a plan comes together.

    it seems to me, based on what you posted in the last few months, that for whatever reason, wee's triggers are all in the morning, in the mainstream setting.

    maybe you've thought of these things, maybe not--just some food for thought...

    an alterative school setting may absolutely what he needs, and it would be great to know its an option. that *IS* a pretty restrictive setting though, and i'd personally want to explore less restrictive setting before going all in with that.

    it seems to me that wee could benefit from

    *a self contained setting with a much smaller group (mainstream=lots of kids, lots of chaos at his age)

    *a highly structured day with minimal disruption to his schedule (his current morning schedule is ridiculous)...i'd probably include silly things like wee will be given a detailed calendar first thing in the morning to keep on his desk, so he can anticipate any changes to his routine, unless this is something that he'd ruminate on and it would backfire.

    *consistent personnel (one aide, one teacher, etc--i'd focus on the attachment disorder here)

    *perhaps more of a transdisciplinary approach for theraputics (meaning, therapists come to him, do therapy more functionally directly in the classroom, vs. pullout)

    *consistent implementation of his BIP, with no more than two adults responsible for implementation (to allow for absent personnel--its pretty ridiculous that a janitor would be in on the plan--unless he has some unique skill to implement that goal...frankly, this is the responsibility of his aide, and in the event of the AIDE's absense, maybe the teacher herself could fill the role temporarily--i'm guessing if your district doesnt have a full time spEd teacher, you dont have a permanent nurse either)

    *a formal alternative plan for absentee personnel, which does NOT include being sent home (typically, in a self contained setting there are enough adults to always have a friendly face...not everyone is gone at the same time, even if its not wee's direct personnel, but i'd have a minimal list of subs for him--maybe two--that have met him and that he's familiar with)

    *the ability for wee to make a choice. something written about how, on "hard" days, instead of being forced to do X, he could be given the power to choose to do X, or Y, at a given time, but that both will need to be accomplished by the end of the day.

    *a specific safe place for him to de-escalate. not umpteen different alternatives. if wee needs a break he will go/do (whatever)--maybe the Occupational Therapist (OT) room, maybe the library, maybe the gym to shoot baskets. i'd let him drive this goal--somewhere *he* feels safe and comfortable. and the goal would be: Wee will identify his need for (whatever) prior to a meltdown. (this is a VERY hard goal, but it goes alone with the above, to give HIM some power over what is happening)

    and it sounds to me that your current setting, for whatever their weak reasoning is, cannot accomplish any of this--hence the need for a change in setting.

    then worry about the alternative school setting ;-D

    but i'm SO happy for both of you that last night helped formulate a plan....
  9. jal

    jal Member


    School districts do not advertise these "alternative" settings. But, if your school district CANNOT provide the supports Wee needs, they MUST find an alternate educational setting, meaning shortfalls with-regards to budget or not, they have to provide FAPE. Which clearly is not being done in your case. They HAVE to pay for it and provide the transportation too, no matter how far away. I've posted several times to your threads with-regards to my 7.5 yr old child being in an alternative setting and with-regards to your concerns with-Wee's anxiety. If you want a little more info with-regards to what my child has been given and the school environment he is in, please feel free to PM me. It has made a HUGE world of difference, so much so that difficult child is being mainstreamed (after 1.5 yrs there) so they can judge when his return to district will be.

    This is huge. Following your situation, I believe you REALLY NEED TO PUSH FOR AN ALTERNATIVE SETTING and a review of medications to help that anxiety. husband & I did not really see the anxiety, but a new doctor picked up on it and a new medication opened difficult child's world!