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Evening guest - Sheriff! Oh boy!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649351" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hey...most of us know you're at. Cops used to know us well. A warning: Meth is very hard to quit. Just because our adult kids say "I stopped" doesn't mean squat. Can't tell you how many times my Daughter told us that with tears in her eyes and even got angry that we suggested she was still using drugs (she was). You really don't know and will never know what she did during her pregnancy or if she is using now. It's a hard lesson we had to learn. In fact, for over a year of our daughter quitting, we didn't really believe it. Not until it was over a year of her acting sane, working, dumping her druggie friends, literally turning her life around finally and for good. She had relapsed many times. Now it has been ten years.</p><p></p><p>You will know when she stops.</p><p></p><p>She will not act helpless or be jobless or hang with druggies. Druggies hang with druggies. Druggies do not tolerate the sober. If she still has druggie friends that's a bad sign. Your daughter will suddenly become somebody with a sense of responsibility who wants to be independent and she will not rely on you for everything. The stealing will stop as it is no longer needed for drugs. No sleeping during the day, up at night. Lies will stop. I'm always a little leery of our darlings telling us "I quit. Yep." One clean drug test doesn't mean a whole lot. In fact there are a lot of drugs that don't even show up on drug tests and the users know which ones they are.</p><p></p><p>The loser sperm donor may be a loser (I don't doubt you for a minute), but your daughter picked him. I always placed the blame on my daughter's head. She was drawn to losers for a reason. She could have just as easily told the young men to ta ke a hike, as she told any young man she didn't like. She brought home some scary criminals, but that was on her. She picked them.</p><p></p><p>I hate when these babies have babies. Thankfully my daughter did not have a baby until recently and she is ten years clean.</p><p></p><p>My advice is to not enable your daughter. SEe if she really has changed. You are my age and too old to be doing this dance. I am 61 and in good health and want to enjoy a long and happy rest of my life and my husband and I have said good-bye to drama, fixing, helping out, loans, second chances and abuse. We can't live forever. All of our children have to learn how to make it without us and we have every right to enjoy our golden years without continuing to parent. We taught them the best we knew how and they disregarded it and, yes, at times I have wondered why I tried so hard.</p><p></p><p>It's time for our grown kids to start looking after themselves, in my opinion. Hopefully, your daughter will be responsible and is truly clean. Hopefully you can take good care of YOU now and go back to Mexico and other places and focus on yourself and your wife. You earned that! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />. If your daughter is not clean, and you feel you still can parent, try to get custody of your grandchild or get daughter to sign over guardianship. I'm not sure I'd do that anymore at my age, but I am also not in that situation. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649351, member: 1550"] Hey...most of us know you're at. Cops used to know us well. A warning: Meth is very hard to quit. Just because our adult kids say "I stopped" doesn't mean squat. Can't tell you how many times my Daughter told us that with tears in her eyes and even got angry that we suggested she was still using drugs (she was). You really don't know and will never know what she did during her pregnancy or if she is using now. It's a hard lesson we had to learn. In fact, for over a year of our daughter quitting, we didn't really believe it. Not until it was over a year of her acting sane, working, dumping her druggie friends, literally turning her life around finally and for good. She had relapsed many times. Now it has been ten years. You will know when she stops. She will not act helpless or be jobless or hang with druggies. Druggies hang with druggies. Druggies do not tolerate the sober. If she still has druggie friends that's a bad sign. Your daughter will suddenly become somebody with a sense of responsibility who wants to be independent and she will not rely on you for everything. The stealing will stop as it is no longer needed for drugs. No sleeping during the day, up at night. Lies will stop. I'm always a little leery of our darlings telling us "I quit. Yep." One clean drug test doesn't mean a whole lot. In fact there are a lot of drugs that don't even show up on drug tests and the users know which ones they are. The loser sperm donor may be a loser (I don't doubt you for a minute), but your daughter picked him. I always placed the blame on my daughter's head. She was drawn to losers for a reason. She could have just as easily told the young men to ta ke a hike, as she told any young man she didn't like. She brought home some scary criminals, but that was on her. She picked them. I hate when these babies have babies. Thankfully my daughter did not have a baby until recently and she is ten years clean. My advice is to not enable your daughter. SEe if she really has changed. You are my age and too old to be doing this dance. I am 61 and in good health and want to enjoy a long and happy rest of my life and my husband and I have said good-bye to drama, fixing, helping out, loans, second chances and abuse. We can't live forever. All of our children have to learn how to make it without us and we have every right to enjoy our golden years without continuing to parent. We taught them the best we knew how and they disregarded it and, yes, at times I have wondered why I tried so hard. It's time for our grown kids to start looking after themselves, in my opinion. Hopefully, your daughter will be responsible and is truly clean. Hopefully you can take good care of YOU now and go back to Mexico and other places and focus on yourself and your wife. You earned that! :). If your daughter is not clean, and you feel you still can parent, try to get custody of your grandchild or get daughter to sign over guardianship. I'm not sure I'd do that anymore at my age, but I am also not in that situation. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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