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Ever know someone who gets you all wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725094" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks, Sam. I am sorry.</p><p></p><p>We can't let others define us. And it isn't sensible to form relationships with people who don't think the best of us.</p><p></p><p>I did not write this for sympathy or in anger. I already mourned the fact years ago that my tiny family of origin will always think the bizarre about me; the worst.</p><p></p><p>Now my dear father is gone, although I feel him around me every day. He was one of two in my tiny family that really loved me and still does.</p><p></p><p>The two left are good folks. I owe amends to one for verbal stuff and that will.happen. the other I want to let go of. I want to shed the skin of toxicity. She simply will always spin crazy stories about me and absolve herself of any part in it. She never thinks, "Maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe she would not harm me. She never had harmed anyone." I am going to reject this I-was-always-right mindset. She had called the cops on me at least ten times mostly because I called or emailed her when she didn't want me too. That's how I was "scary." My hub and kids were witnesses. They heatd what the cops said ( they always seemed bored, tje cops). She even called the cops on me after i moved out of state! Hub and kids always warn me to keep her away, although, being kind people, they have always been kind to her face. But they think she is "off." And Jumper hasn't seen her. Jumper would probably not be as kind. Plus she is going to BE a cop and these petty calls about emails...cops hate them. Jumper already knows how annoying cops find them.</p><p></p><p>The last time this rather unhealthy person came back into my life, I deliberately made sure there was limited contact, like once a week. I am glad I took.at least that step. I have found, through many of her cut offs, that I don't need her. I am very strong from all I have gone through and my support system.is rock.solid if I need one. The truth is, she has the ability to make me doubt myself and I don't need that in my life.</p><p></p><p>The rest of my life has to be about me, I feel. I am no longer going to talk to those who have false negative ideas about me. Period. To be honest, they were ALL biological family.</p><p></p><p>Dad is in another realm now, waiting. Grandma too, although I feel like she too is with me NOW. I am going to pray about this.</p><p></p><p>But I know the answer I am going to receive.</p><p></p><p>I can not change another's thoughts. I will let it be in peace and wish the best for all. But that doesn't mean I need to expose myself to the few who have wrong, bad ideas about me.</p><p></p><p>Family is who loves you and nobody can love you for real if the person does not KNOW you. You can't love an imaginary person.</p><p></p><p>Thanks. I think I got it all out now. I am clear headed and ready to face the day <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725094, member: 1550"] Thanks, Sam. I am sorry. We can't let others define us. And it isn't sensible to form relationships with people who don't think the best of us. I did not write this for sympathy or in anger. I already mourned the fact years ago that my tiny family of origin will always think the bizarre about me; the worst. Now my dear father is gone, although I feel him around me every day. He was one of two in my tiny family that really loved me and still does. The two left are good folks. I owe amends to one for verbal stuff and that will.happen. the other I want to let go of. I want to shed the skin of toxicity. She simply will always spin crazy stories about me and absolve herself of any part in it. She never thinks, "Maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe she would not harm me. She never had harmed anyone." I am going to reject this I-was-always-right mindset. She had called the cops on me at least ten times mostly because I called or emailed her when she didn't want me too. That's how I was "scary." My hub and kids were witnesses. They heatd what the cops said ( they always seemed bored, tje cops). She even called the cops on me after i moved out of state! Hub and kids always warn me to keep her away, although, being kind people, they have always been kind to her face. But they think she is "off." And Jumper hasn't seen her. Jumper would probably not be as kind. Plus she is going to BE a cop and these petty calls about emails...cops hate them. Jumper already knows how annoying cops find them. The last time this rather unhealthy person came back into my life, I deliberately made sure there was limited contact, like once a week. I am glad I took.at least that step. I have found, through many of her cut offs, that I don't need her. I am very strong from all I have gone through and my support system.is rock.solid if I need one. The truth is, she has the ability to make me doubt myself and I don't need that in my life. The rest of my life has to be about me, I feel. I am no longer going to talk to those who have false negative ideas about me. Period. To be honest, they were ALL biological family. Dad is in another realm now, waiting. Grandma too, although I feel like she too is with me NOW. I am going to pray about this. But I know the answer I am going to receive. I can not change another's thoughts. I will let it be in peace and wish the best for all. But that doesn't mean I need to expose myself to the few who have wrong, bad ideas about me. Family is who loves you and nobody can love you for real if the person does not KNOW you. You can't love an imaginary person. Thanks. I think I got it all out now. I am clear headed and ready to face the day :) [/QUOTE]
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