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Ever know someone who gets you all wrong?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 725216" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Susie, you always understood so well, although you may not remember answering when this came up before.</p><p></p><p>My sister was not drunk. She totally did it for control. Yet she will never take any blame. To her, it is me. I should have cut it off long ago. My husband told me as much over a decade ago and continued to and to this day hopes I never speak to her again. He thinks she is very unwell. "Your family is nuts" are his words. Although he would like my bro.</p><p></p><p>I once thought the only sick person was me. That's why I allowed the cops and excused it, really. I now know with certainty that it was certainly not me doing the extreme or the off and on cut offs. That was her. Borderline? What she accused me of? I truly think my mom had extreme Borderline (BPD) traits. She was truly cruel to me and when I fought back she got malicious. And she was unforgiving and had "golden"people and "bad" people, my being one. Yet she fought with her own mother, my beloved grandma who always loved and protected me. When my grandma was in a nursing home just before she died I heard my mom sarcastically telling my grandma how she favored her son in a mean way.</p><p></p><p>My grandma didn't need that while she was so sick. I walked in and interrupted my mother, then she left. My grandma hated when my mom went off on her. She would talk about it to me. A lot.</p><p></p><p>Back to Sis, I will need to mourn my sister. As poorly as she has continuously treated me, I love her and will grieve. But I am done listening to her silly assessments of me and, if I am honest, I am bone tired of her love and obsession for this very sick abusive man while she deceives and uses the nice man that she will never love..or come clean to. It's mean, like she is to me, and if she can't bear to dump the abuser, she should not in my opinion be in a relationship with another man who loves her. She is not attracted to nice man. Or doesnt want him to touch her likes boyfriend. She barely talks of him. Everything is about abuser. Non stop. Nice man will only get hurt, even if she marries him. Especially if. She has never been in a long term loving relationship with a kind, compatible, attentive man. She is in her late 50s. Will it ever happen? Not with Abuser I her life and she will not block him from her phone And he will never stop contacting her if she allows him access. M I venting much??? Gerrard. I am sorry. Sorry and fed up and feeling dumb for doing this dance for decades. Not the abuse of nice msn. The abuse of me!</p><p></p><p>Well, my eyes are wide open now. Fortunately for her she is not alone. She has a group of extremely, well, odd and dysfunctional friends who seem to all have similar man problems, but it works for the group. None are in stable relationships. Some snort cocaine. But they support her. And she honestly, truly has lovely, bright kids, although I personally feel she puts too much of the details of her dysfunctional love problems on them. But that is none of my business.</p><p></p><p>Yes, this is my divorce from my sister. I don't know what else to call it, but I am done. But grief isn't logical, is it?</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this was so long. I am at the beginning of my grieving period so I'm babbling. Yuk on me!</p><p></p><p>But I am better today.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for your post, Susie. I do hope to meet you in St. Louis. I owe you a big hug <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 725216, member: 1550"] Susie, you always understood so well, although you may not remember answering when this came up before. My sister was not drunk. She totally did it for control. Yet she will never take any blame. To her, it is me. I should have cut it off long ago. My husband told me as much over a decade ago and continued to and to this day hopes I never speak to her again. He thinks she is very unwell. "Your family is nuts" are his words. Although he would like my bro. I once thought the only sick person was me. That's why I allowed the cops and excused it, really. I now know with certainty that it was certainly not me doing the extreme or the off and on cut offs. That was her. Borderline? What she accused me of? I truly think my mom had extreme Borderline (BPD) traits. She was truly cruel to me and when I fought back she got malicious. And she was unforgiving and had "golden"people and "bad" people, my being one. Yet she fought with her own mother, my beloved grandma who always loved and protected me. When my grandma was in a nursing home just before she died I heard my mom sarcastically telling my grandma how she favored her son in a mean way. My grandma didn't need that while she was so sick. I walked in and interrupted my mother, then she left. My grandma hated when my mom went off on her. She would talk about it to me. A lot. Back to Sis, I will need to mourn my sister. As poorly as she has continuously treated me, I love her and will grieve. But I am done listening to her silly assessments of me and, if I am honest, I am bone tired of her love and obsession for this very sick abusive man while she deceives and uses the nice man that she will never love..or come clean to. It's mean, like she is to me, and if she can't bear to dump the abuser, she should not in my opinion be in a relationship with another man who loves her. She is not attracted to nice man. Or doesnt want him to touch her likes boyfriend. She barely talks of him. Everything is about abuser. Non stop. Nice man will only get hurt, even if she marries him. Especially if. She has never been in a long term loving relationship with a kind, compatible, attentive man. She is in her late 50s. Will it ever happen? Not with Abuser I her life and she will not block him from her phone And he will never stop contacting her if she allows him access. M I venting much??? Gerrard. I am sorry. Sorry and fed up and feeling dumb for doing this dance for decades. Not the abuse of nice msn. The abuse of me! Well, my eyes are wide open now. Fortunately for her she is not alone. She has a group of extremely, well, odd and dysfunctional friends who seem to all have similar man problems, but it works for the group. None are in stable relationships. Some snort cocaine. But they support her. And she honestly, truly has lovely, bright kids, although I personally feel she puts too much of the details of her dysfunctional love problems on them. But that is none of my business. Yes, this is my divorce from my sister. I don't know what else to call it, but I am done. But grief isn't logical, is it? I am sorry this was so long. I am at the beginning of my grieving period so I'm babbling. Yuk on me! But I am better today. Thanks for your post, Susie. I do hope to meet you in St. Louis. I owe you a big hug :) [/QUOTE]
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