ever notice how your kids have different behaviors in different places??

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Sep 25, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    am i the only parent that goes thru this? just wondering? does your difficult child present differently in different places, or with diff. ppl??

    like for instance a less stress situation or on vacation they deal better and are more relaxed than it's back home to the stressors and reality and the behaviors resume?

    makes me feel like i'm crazy or something at times....
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thats perfectly normal. Most people would never have known I had bipolar if they just met me on the street or while I was team mom for my son's ball games. Even while working, for the most part, unless you were one of my extremely close friends, no one saw my issues because I saved them for home. Even all the times I met with all the folks at mental health for Cory and Jamie, they never even had a clue that I had my own issues until I told them. I compartmentalized my life.
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Janet - that's so normal.

    When my son is doing something he enjoys or is under no performance stress or anxiety, you would be hard pressed to think he is anything other than a kinda shy 15 year old boy.

  4. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    this is normal, even with "normal" kids. But with kids that have some issues, they can only hold it in so long. Since home is often safe (mom and dad will love me no matter what), home gets the brunt of the off behavior. Or the favorite teacher may never see the off behavior because the child doesn't want to disappoint them, but the not so favored teacher gets it all.
    I looked at is a a positive. My son knew how to behave, he just needed to find ways to cope when it became overwhelming. Since the overwhelming usually happened at home, that meant going to his room until he could get himself under control. Removing him from the situation that was leading to the stress.
  5. My son is always the same, he doesnt have an edit button, but then again, I can't say I leave the house very often- sometimes I feel held hostage, cause it it too tough leaving the house with boy 5 and girl 2 without help from hb. For the most part, I get what I get. He is no better or worse for me than anyone else. When he is tough, he is TOUGH.
  6. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Jena, my difficult child definetly behaves MUCH better outside of the home. He is perfect at school ( I hope I don't jinx myself with that statement) and most social outings you would never know he is a difficult child. in my humble opinion kids feel safe, secure and loved at home so they feel comfortable enough to let all heck break loose sometimes.
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    interesting point Janet. it's so true. also i've come to realize some of the greatest minds, and profound leaders, artists, and inventors have bipolar disorder. at times i think to myself i'Tourette's Syndrome such a shame that we have to "fit" everyone into what the world considers acceptable behavior. granted raging isnt' something that can go down, i get that. yet alot of times bipolar ppl's most creative moments or timeframes are when they are experiencing bipolar symptoms, at least that's true of my difficult child.

    yet she has to conform to school at a certain time, life to start a certain time, organized sports that are meant to be adhered to a certain way. there are so many times when difficult child has been up in the middle of the night writing her music, recording songs and i just want to say you know what it's fine write away crash when your tired. yet school, reality and stress.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, just to show a more normal kid. Keyana is pretty typical normal for a 4 year old and she is outgoing and happy and laughs and plays with you all the time. She loves to go to Walmart and say Hi to everyone she sees. She even does well up on the stages with the Pageants. However, if I take her to something or somewhere for the first time she is shy. Like we went to meet my friend and her granddaughter for a few minutes one day. She kind of held back and didnt say a whole lot. She did play with a few of the toys with the little girl and they went out back and played in the back yard but she wasnt real talkative. Also the first day of dance class she wanted me to stay with her. But by the second day, she was just fine and dandy and having great fun with her "new friends!"