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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 681973" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>My son is seeing a therapist whose specialty is helping men cope with anger issues. I personally think the best person to help a man find ways to healthily cope with anger is another man. Ferb's "default" emotion is anger. He gets angry over seemingly inconsequential things like . . . a delayed birthday check. Deep down I think he feels anger/hurt/grief at his father for ignoring him and for going nuts. I think sometimes that it is easier for people to feel anger over the other "softer" emotions like grief. Anger makes the person feel strong and powerful. The other emotions leave a person feeling vulnerable. In order to mature, we have to be willing to wade through those deep, sad emotions so that the anger isn't welling up inappropriately and causing us to blow up and hurt our loved ones. I know a lot of adults who are jerked around by their own anger.</p><p></p><p>I told Ferb during a calm time that I had researched a new therapist who could help him reign in his anger. It took him many months of thinking about that idea and a smashed cell phone which I refused to replace. One day he came to me and begged me to take him to see the anger management therapist. Maybe it's like people who are addicted to drugs. Maybe they need to understand that lack of control over their anger is causing them serious problems, and they need to want help before real change can occur.</p><p></p><p>Maybe J will change his mind about spending time with SS10. Ferb began to mature when he started to spend time with SO's grandkids. They look up to him and count on him. I think our connections to our friends and family are what help us to grow as people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 681973, member: 11832"] My son is seeing a therapist whose specialty is helping men cope with anger issues. I personally think the best person to help a man find ways to healthily cope with anger is another man. Ferb's "default" emotion is anger. He gets angry over seemingly inconsequential things like . . . a delayed birthday check. Deep down I think he feels anger/hurt/grief at his father for ignoring him and for going nuts. I think sometimes that it is easier for people to feel anger over the other "softer" emotions like grief. Anger makes the person feel strong and powerful. The other emotions leave a person feeling vulnerable. In order to mature, we have to be willing to wade through those deep, sad emotions so that the anger isn't welling up inappropriately and causing us to blow up and hurt our loved ones. I know a lot of adults who are jerked around by their own anger. I told Ferb during a calm time that I had researched a new therapist who could help him reign in his anger. It took him many months of thinking about that idea and a smashed cell phone which I refused to replace. One day he came to me and begged me to take him to see the anger management therapist. Maybe it's like people who are addicted to drugs. Maybe they need to understand that lack of control over their anger is causing them serious problems, and they need to want help before real change can occur. Maybe J will change his mind about spending time with SS10. Ferb began to mature when he started to spend time with SO's grandkids. They look up to him and count on him. I think our connections to our friends and family are what help us to grow as people. [/QUOTE]
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